


Moral and Ethics over Chess

by CelestialDeth



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Ableist Language, Distrust, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, First Time, Hermann has MS, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harrassment, M/M, Multi, Racist Language, Sexual Content, Transphobia, and use of the word boners, brain washing, charlie is actually newt, don't trust hannibal chau, lots of swearing, mentions of child abuse, pairings may appear as fic continues, shitty parents, talk of kidnapping, transphobic language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-29
Updated: 2014-07-12
Packaged: 2017-12-30 20:14:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 52,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1022916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelestialDeth/pseuds/CelestialDeth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sweet Dee makes an astonishing discovery while painting her nails. The color matches Kaiju Blue.</p><p>Heavily inspired by the It's Always Sunny episode 'Flowers for Charlie,' the Gang discovers that after years of believing Charlie was dead, a casualty of the the Kaiju attacks, they find out that he's alive and well under the name Newton Geiszler.</p><p>But when the Gang plans to ride on Newton's fame as the Hero of the Kaiju War, they realize that this isn't going to be like any other scheme they've embarked on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I am a Child Prodigy? (I think)

**Author's Note:**

> Author of this fic still can't believe she wrote this fic

It’s 10 am in the morning, and by then, Dee would be at the bar, but Dennis had taken it upon himself to make some snide comments about both her appearance and her sense of hygiene, so as far as she was concerned, he could jump into oncoming traffic, and she was taking the morning to bathe and freshen herself up. After her soak in the tub, using some body soap Artemis had given her the week before, she pulled on her bathrobe so she could watch TV and paint her nails.

She found the remote in her cupboard, which Mac had probably left after the last time he came to eat her food and generally make an ass out of himself because he had a stupid codependent fight with Dennis, and she switched on the television. TV had really taken a dive for the worst since these stupid ugly frog monsters popped out of the ocean, and sure yeah it was all really sad but her life still sucked so Dee couldn’t bring herself to care all that much. She didn’t live near the ocean so it was no skin off her ass. 

But there was still some good TV, if only the stupid butt munching PPDC or some shit didn’t keep posting bulletins about the Kaiju ever five minutes.

Which is exactly what was happening now actually. Dee sat herself down to at least see if they were all fucked or not.

Well they were all smiling. Too bad that hot black commander wasn’t there. Sweet Dee would climb that like a tree if she could, even if he was old. But she wasn’t all that young either, but she maintained that could fake her age passably. No matter what Dennis said.

And then this Australian dude was talking about how all the monsters were dead or gone or whatever, they weren’t going to come and fuck everyone in the ass anymore, and then he gestured to this little Asian girl, and this hot blonde guy. They talked about how they were the heroes of the world. But then they were talking about the ‘real heroes’ and the brains in the K-Science and blah blah blah, the rest of that touchy feely crap.

And that’s when the camera panned to a short cubby guy with glass and thick, crazy hair and a froggy dude with a bad haircut and cane.

But the guy in the glasses looked pretty similar. In fact, he looked kind of like-

“CHARLIE!!” screamed Dee.

Title Card

“Charlie: The Scientist” 

“You guys will not believe who I saw on TV this morning-” Sweet Dee burst into the bar with her hair still wet and only three nails painted. She felt that this might be a little more important than Dennis’s nasty comments about her looks.

“Dee,” Dennis raised his hand to her in the condescending way he does, with a furrowed brow and pursed lips. Dee hated that face. She wanted to smash it, “We’re doing some really important work here. We just heard that this shitty monster war is over- and we’re going to throw a party. You know- the works, food, booze, women. Today is a new day Dee!”

“Yeah, we really don’t have time for your stupid, girly shit Dee,” Mac interjected, “Everyone’s celebrating. We’re gonna do this right. This is a memorous moment in human history. Frank’s even going to do a memorial thing for Charlie as like a ‘Lost Soul to the Kaiju War’ thing. The chicks will eat it up. They’ll love it.”

“No, you see- that’s what I-”

“Why don’t you make yourself useful Dee, go figure out where we’re going to get all the food,” Dennis interrupted her.

“You boners. I’m trying to-” Dee shrieked.

Which is when Frank burst in with an armful of flower wreaths and an empty frame, “You guys are going to have to find a nice picture of Charlie. All the ones I have are either him in the background stalking that waitress or covered in garbage.”

“No but you guys-”

“Why don’t we go down to his mom’s? She plastered all kinds of pictures of him at her place ever since he died-”

“Oh my god!” screamed Dee, “Charlie’s alive! I just saw him on my TV you morons!”

Everyone in the bar stopped what they were doing and looked at Dee, who looked close to tears, probably with fury.

“What are you talking about?” Dennis broke the silence, “Charlie’s been missing for almost ten years. Ever since he went to Washington for that experiment what’s it bullshit and then Seattle was destroyed. He never came back- never found. Charlie’s gone.”

“Well he was on my TV! He was with those PPDC guys- the military people with the giant robots and crap! Except he’s like a hero!”

“What!”

“Yeah, he was like one of the scientist there with this other froggy looking asshole- they’re saying he saved the world- he figured out how to stop the Kaiju- OUR CHARLIE!”

“Bullshit you saw Charlie. You know Dee, that’s really shitty, you gotta show more respect for the dead.”

“Are you kidding me- you didn’t even respect him when the courts officially declared him dead!”

“Alright- let’s stop this nonsense,” Dennis interrupted, “Let’s just turn on the TV and end this- Holy shit that’s Charlie.”

Mid-sentence Dennis had turned on the bar’s TV, and there he was, their dead friend with his arm around some douchebag with bad hair.

“Good lord look at him. Are those tattoos-?” Dennis’s eyes widened.

“And what’s with those stupid glasses? Since when has he needed glasses?”

“Well it would explain why he couldn’t read or write-”

“The fact that he couldn’t even properly speak worries me Dee, and the fate of the world was put into Charlie’s hands? I’m not sure I feel comfortable with this.”

“What does it matter? He saved the world!”

“Dennis is right Dee, what if he becomes like a mad scientist now that all the monsters are gone. Do you want someone like Charlie doing tests and making inventions or whatever else scientist’s do?

“He’s got a point,” Frank nodded. Wagging his finger, “I say, we drive down to the head office of those PPDC bastards, and demand to speak with Charlie.”

“Well, you might have a little problem there,” said Dee.

“What? Why? We’re his bestest bros for life. Of course he’ll see us. Except maybe you Dee, no one likes you.”

“Shut up! And it’s not that. He’s not going by Charlie Kelly anymore, boners. It says on the TV he’s callin himself Dr. Newton Geiszler.

“What kind of gay ass name is that?”

“Look it doesn’t matter!” Frank waved his arm, “We’ll call his mom, tell her we found Charlie, and she’ll get us in to see him. He’s his mother after all- they have to.”

“That’s not a bad idea Frank,” Dennis smiled, “And then when we go see Charlie, we totally reap the benefits of his success-”

“But not before beating the shit out of him for disappearing and ditching us and letting us believe he was dead for ten years,” interrupted Mac.

“Well of course, that too. But guys- this is fantastic. We get our Janitor back and he’s literally a hero- do you have any idea how good this would be for the bar?”

“Yeah, it has gotten gross since he left.”

“Yup.”

\---

It was harder than they thought, getting to even have a phone call to Charlie. Because he had forgotten who his mother that was, and under the impression that his mother was Monica Schwartz. At least, that’s what his file said that they had on him.

“Look here you Neandrathral,” Dennis talked down to the surly office clerk at me local PPDC recruitment office, “That file is wrong. We want to talk to Doc Newton Geiszler, see, we’re his childhood friends, and we were under the impression that he was dead. We own a bar with him. This disgusting old man was his roommate, and possibly his father. We demand to talk to him.”

“Dr. Geiszler is currently stationed in Hong Kong, and he’s very busy,” the man replied, “Besides, we get people calling all day wanting to meet the scientist in K-Science. Reporters, fans, the like, and I don’t really have time for some nobodies coming off the street claiming to be his long lost pal. I’ll keep your request on file for someone to over to him later- but unless you want to fly over to Hong Kong- I can’t help you.”

\---

“I can’t believe this. Our friend has come back from the dead and we can’t even speak to the man,” Dennis whined.

“Wait- wait, Frank, don’t you still have some connections in Hong Kong? Anyone with a plane?” said Mac.

“Yeah, then we can go see Charlie ourselves.”

“I know one guy. Real bastard. He built his empire makin a business selling monster guts. He owes me a favor. I’ll call him up.”

“Dudes, this is great. We can fly out to see Charlie and see all the carnage ourselves. They probably still got Kaiju bodies and guts all over the place! Have any of us actually seen one of these bastards!”

“And then we can beat the shit out of Charlie,” said Mac.

“And then we can beat the shit out of Charlie,” Dennis repeated.

\---

Frank was able to convince his associate to lend him a plane. When asked what he wanted to come out to Hong Kong for, Frank told him. “I’m going to see if my idiot friend is alive. He might be my kid actually, but I thought he was dead til I saw him on TV.”

“Oh yeah? Who’s the kid?”

“He’s callin himself some stupid name, Newton Geiszler, but his real name is Charlie. Charlie Kelly.”

“Holy shit,” Hannibal breathed over the phone, “I know that asshole. He stole my shoe.”

“He does a lot of weird shit. Trust me.”

\---

Dee went out and bought a whole new set of wardrobe to bring with her to Hong Kong, possibly in the hopes that she can probably trick a Jaeger pilot with sleeping with her.

That might have been possible if the airline that had operated under Frank’s associate hasn’t lost her luggage.

“Are you kidding me? This was a private jet! How did they lose my luggage!”

“Sorry ma’am, we’ll work hard to find your property soon, if you would like, you can purchase some clothes and necessities at our airline booths- free of charge of course.”

“You’re damn right you’re gonna give me free stuff for losing my crap, that’s downright unprofessional! I’m going to complain to your boss, if this isn’t straightened out fast!”

“Yes ma’am. Right away ma’am.”

“AND DON’T CALL ME MA’AM.”

“Jesus Deandra. Calm down. You’re making a scene.”

“I just spent all my saving on those clothes! Jesus Christ Frank! And even that wasn’t much!”

“Not like the clothes would have helped! Oh!” Mac turned to high five Dennis.

“You guys can go screw yourselves!” Dee screamed.

“Well c’mon, let’s go see Charlie and we’ll worry about Dee’s shit later.”

\---

It was easier to get to Charlie then they thought. They snuck into the back entrance of the Shatterdome, stole some uniforms, and walked around until they found a sign that said “K-Science” and they followed the directions until they found themselves in a large room full of chalkboards and smelling strongly of disinfectant and ammonia. There was a yellow line down the room and fancy computers lines along the walls. On the right side of the room it was meticulously clean and organized, while on the other side there was piled of shiny, slippery organs and yellow jars of alien junk, floating around as well as a cluster of junk in the corner.

“So we know Charlie has changed but the side with the gross stuff and the god awful mess is definitely his right?” said Dee.

“Oh yeah, doesn’t matter how much the shit has changed, Charlie can’t resist trash and slime and sludges. Kid can’t resist it.” Dennis nodded.

“Oh my god,” Mac yelled, “My bongo drums! That asshole! I knew he stole them! Oh I’m going to punch him so hard in the dick!”

“Excuse me! Gentlemen! Lady! Would you mind telling me what you’re all doing here?”

A man with short blonde hair walked in, followed by a small bulldog. Sweet Dee immediately recognized him as one of the Jaeger pilots for Striker Eureka. He has lost his son and copilot in the final Kaiju attack. He was cute but a guy like that was carrying way too much emotional baggage for her to handle at the moment. She filed him away as “May seduce when drunk later.”

“Ah yes,” Dennis grinned, “We’re just waiting for our friend Char-Newton. Just a quick chat between old friends, you understand.”

The man frowned, “Doctor Geiszler doesn’t have many friends. And he’s certainly never mentioned any of you lot-?”

“Well, in any case, we brought his father-“

“I told you we never took the test. He might not be my kid-”

“Shut up Frank!”

“I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to ask you all to leave, immediately.”

“I can take him,” Mac muttered to Dennis under his breath, but Dee heard him anyway.

“Mac, are you serious? You haven’t been to the gym in years- this guy is a pilot- he just got out of those robots like last week!”

“Shut up Dee!” they all said in unison.

“Commander Henson, what is all this racket going on in my lab?” and the froggy scientist with the bad haircut from the TV walked in, someone trailing behind him, “Our lab dude, our lab! You’d think after our drift you’d be nicer to me Hermann.”

“What did I say about-”

“Charlie!” The gang screamed in unison, running over to Newt and grabbing at his arms, shoving Hermann unceremoniously out of the way. Mac was currently hugging Newt’s face to his chest while Dee hugged his side, and Dennis opted for laying a hand on his shoulder, and franks patted his free arm.

Newt was silent for a moment, looking at Hermann who was leaning against a table from his shove, flaring, “Friends of yours, Geiszler?”

Just then Mac pulled away and punched him once in the stomach, causing Newt to fall to his knees.

“That’s what you get for leaving us for ten years asshole,” and then kicked him once more, “And that’s for stealing my bongo drums you dick!”

\---

“See? That’s you,” Frank had pulled a picture of Charlie, covered in dirt but still recognizable out of his wallet.

“Why do you have a picture of me in your wallet?”

“Well, there has been some discussion that you might be my kid, but that’s all I’m going to say on the subject!”

“What charming friends,” Hermann said from the other side of the room. He looked a little smug, partly because after Mac and Dennis started to beat up on Newt, Hermann had hobbled over and struck them both with the butt of his cane, causing them both to fall over and away from Newt. Herc pulled them both off him and after Newt assured him that they can stay. He left soon right after, as he had other duties to take care of then babysitting the pet scientists. 

“Total bad ass,” Newt had grinned at him. 

“So you see? Someone did like some brainwashing thing on you dude, so you think you’re really smart but you’re Charlie. You’re our Charlie,” said Mac.

“Look dudes, I have to admit there are some similarities-”

God it’s like talking to a robot. Charlie never knew how to say complicated words like similarities,” scoffed Dennis.

“The ‘dudes’ thing and the high pitched voice is still the same,” Dee frowned.

“Charlie,” Frank looked up, “You gotta remember us. All of us- your mom, we were really broken up when you left.”

“Well, maybe just his mom-” interrupted Dee.

“Whatever. We flew all the way down here and you don’t even remember us?”

“Well Frank, if he was brainwashed-”

“Not brainwashed,” Newt chimed.

“You gotta remember something!” Mac sighed.

“C’mon, you remember when we were kids and we used to throw rocks at trains?”

“Why would I throw rocks at trains?” Newt cocked his head.

“Oh my god, he’s a monster.”

“What about the McPoyle’s? You’re terrified of them!” Dennis cut in, “Or bashing rat? Or Green man? You love Greenman!”

“Charlie, don’t you remember all those times you smashed my car?” yelped Dee.

“Shut up Dee!” Mac and Dennis shouted.

“Charlie,” said Frank, “Don’t you remember all those times we’ve huffed glue and tripped balls?”

“Why would he remember snuffing glue Frank?” Dennis scowled.

“The Waitress!” Mac yelped, “Oh man, there’s no way you can forget about the Waitress! You were obsessed with her for like ever! She’s the love of your life man!”

“Look! I’m serious! I don’t remember any of this. I don’t know you guys!” Newt shouted, trembling and high strung, that Hermann hobbled to him to put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

There was a moment of drawn out exhausted silence. The gang casted looks at each other, and they looked on the verge of giving up. Then Dennis chimed in.

“Day Man,” he sung, “Ah~ahhh! Fighter of the Night Man.”

There was a pause, “Ah~ahh,” Mac and Dee chimed in, “Champion of the sun.”

“Ah~ahh. You’re a master of karate and friendship for everyone.” They all started to sing.

There was a pause, and they stared expectantly at Newt. Hermann harrumphed and was about to open his mouth, telling them to get out, when Newt said quietly, “Day man. Ah~ahh. Fighter of the Night man.”

“AH MAN CHARLIE!” Mac shouted.

“Charlie!” Frank yelled and they all ran forward to hug him again, except this time the hugs were returned.

“Oh man I can’t believe I forgot you guys! Oh my god!”

“We knew it man! We knew it! Dee saw you on TV and she was all ‘oh man that’s Charlie!”

Dee grinned from ear to ear and laughed, “I did! I did!”

“You boner!” Mac and Dennis laughed, “We totally thought you were like eaten by a space monster. Asshole!”

“This is all well said and done!” Hermann shouted over them, “But can someone please explain to me why Dr. Geiszler apparently has a different set of memories than what you explained from my drift with him?”

Newt’s smile instantly dropped but the others simply looked at Hermann, “Oh my god, you’re still here? Go away you stupid science bitch,” said Mac. 

“Um yeah, sorry to burst everyone’s buzz,” Newt interjected, “But Hermann’s right. I remember being a child prodigy. My mom left me when I was a kid for her music career. I lived with my dad and uncle. I went to MIT. I have six PhD’s,” he frowned, “I vaguely remember living in Philly. I kinda remember the bar. I can’t even remember what the Waitress looks like, or her name. But you guys know me. And I- this is really confusing. Oh my god Herms, are you sure you didn’t get any of this?”

“I certainly don’t remember evidence of you as an imbecile- I would have told you,” he said.

“Yeah, you would, wouldn’t you, smug asshole-”

“Don’t call me ‘Herms’ either, Newton.”

“C’mon dude, why are you always so-”

“Maybe because SOME of us are professional-”

And in five seconds, the gang was witness to a famous Geiszler/Gottlieb shouting match. It was bad enough they couldn’t understand them over the continuous yelling, but it was a lost cause when they both reverted to German.

Dee leaned over to mutter to Dennis, “These bozos saved the world?”

“How did they not single handedly destroyed us all?”


	2. I think I pretended to be disabled once

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mako and Sweet Dee would probably be friends, you know, if Sweet Dee wasn't Sweet Dee. And Mac fails to impress Rayleigh but he fails to impress anyone. 
> 
> Also there's something about brain scans but who even cares about stuff like that when Tendo Choi is in the room

Shatterdome  
Midnight

After Newton and Hermann were done fighting, they shuffled the gang somewhere where they’d cause the least damage. Newton begged Rayleigh and Mako to let them see the new replica of Gypsy Danger. But not before he pulled Rayleigh to the side and warned him to not let Mako near Dennis.

He might not remember much, but he did remember an instance where he called Dennis a bastard-man for sleeping with Waitress, and had other vague memories of Dennis treating other women like dolls or trash.

Rayleigh smiled and thanked him, but said from the corner of his mouth that he doubted Mako would need much protection from him. She did kill Kaiju with him after all, and survived the bridge to the anteverse whatever a mere mortal man would throw at her would be no match for Mako Mori.

So the gang left Hermann and Newt behind to squabble while they went off to see the monster-killing-rock em sock em- robots. True to word, Rayleigh kept Dennis away from Mako, deciding to shepherd the three male members of the gang closer to Gypsy while doing his best to explain how movement worked inside the machine, alongside a partner, leaving Mako and Sweet Dee to awkwardly stand near each other.

While Mac started to do his legendary ‘ninja moves’ and Rayleigh was trying really hard what to laugh, Dee looked down at Mako and Mako looked up at her, and they smiled lightly.

“So are you hitting that or what?” Dee smiled.

“Oh! Um, excuse me-“

“You don’t have to answer, I was just trying to uh, break the silence-”

“It’s fine Ms. Reynolds. That was just really forward of you.”

“You can call me Dee. Or Sweet Dee, but mostly everyone calls me Dee.”

“Dee,” Mako bowed her head slightly, “And you can call me Mako.”

“Ah okay,” Dee nodded, “So you get a lot of respect here I bet. No one treating you like dirt.”

“No, in which I am very great full,” Mako smiled slightly, “At first it was because of my father. Now it’s out of my strength as a fighter. If only if it was because of my worth as a person instead of just a woman.”

“At least you get respect,” Dee frowned, “My asshole brother and his friends don’t think women should be pilots.”

“I know of a couple people who would disagree most fiercely,” Mako smiled, “The Kaidonovsky’s. Let them rest in peace.”

“I remember watching them on TV,” Dee had a thoughtful look on her face, “Dennis and Mac didn’t like them. Specifically her – I think, but they had to admit that they were really good at their job.”

“Sasha would like you I imagine,” Mako smiled, “And Aleksis. They were fond of their fans.”

“I can’t even imagine being in that robot for as long as they could, and sharing each other’s brains. I can’t even stand being around Dennis for long and we’re twins.”

Mako looked over and Dennis then, shaking his head at Mac, who had fall on the floor, Rayleigh and Frank openly laughing.

“Is there anyone you would imagine sharing a drift with?”

“Me? No. Dennis could probably do it with Mac, considering how creepily codependent they are on each other. Frank could probably drift with Char –Newt. Well, he probably used to, not anymore though.”

Mako paused herself before looking down, “Dr. Geiszler is drift compatible with Dr. Gottlieb. Mr. Choi, um, our J-Tech Chief officer, suspects that they’re one of the most compatible drifters to date, considering they were able to drift using garbage Dr. Geiszler put together without complications.”

“That’s weird.” Dee frowned, brow furrowed, “That’s really-”

“Rayleigh,” A man half jogged over, he had brown slicked back hair, into a pompadour, with a bow tie and suspenders. “Shows over, you should probably get these guys out of here.”

“Why? What’s happening?” Frank stood up to full height, which didn’t change much and wasn’t all that impressive.

Dee and Mako walked over to the group, Mako immediately saying, “What seems to be the problem Mr. Choi?”

Tendo looked torn, wanting to answer but obviously not wanting to say anything in front of civilians, but he sighed heavily and said, “It’s Newt. Hermann said he was complaining of headaches and he collapsed. They got him in the infirmary.”

“Shit!” Dennis said, and Frank exploded, “It’s the brainwashing! He’s becoming self-aware!”

“Why don’t you shut it Frank!” Dee yelled, “Look, why don’t we check into our hotel, clean up and then we can come back to check on. Char –Newt. God I hate saying that. What a stupid name,” she spat.

\---

Newt could feel a pounding over his right eye, the eye that wasn’t ringed red his experimental drift. Hermann had a matching ring, but for all intent and purposed, it was going down.

“Man, I can’t believe those guys come all the way here to see me,” Newt said fondly, “Dee and Dennis didn’t even like going to go see their pop-pop. He was a Nazi you know. I stole one of his paintings.”

“Newton, I think before we start on idle prattler about those –people –it would do you well to finish your work –”

“Man, what’s the point? We closed the breach. We’re just gonna start packing up before we all get kicked out.”

“Nevertheless, you still have a job to do –”

“Man, I’ve get a bad headache right now.”

“Don’t interrupt me when I’m talking to you Dr. Geiszler -”

“DON’T CALL ME THAT! My name is Char – I mean, it’s Newton –goddamnit!”

Newt slammed his hands on his desk, that sound mixing from sharp to sloppy as it wet with Kaiju entrails.

“This headache is messing with me Herms.”

“Gotte,” Hermann half whispered, walked over to Newt’s hunched over figure, “Gotte, Newton, what’s happening to you?”

“I don’t know -! I can’t remember –anything Hermann, I don’t even remember how I enlisted in the PPDC. I thought it was through MIT, but god I don’t even remember teaching there –we wrote each other letters yeah?”

“Yes,” Hermann nodded, “You’re the bane of my existence, but the letters did indeed happen.”

“Yeah, you were always so nice in them too. Too bad you turned out to be such a grumpy old bastard.”

“Mature as always Dr. Geiszler.”

“Whatever Herms –man, this headache is killing me.”

“There’s no need to be dramatic Newton,”

“Hermann, seriously you need to get that stick out of your ass.”

Hermann scoffed, turning away from Newt and towards the computer, “In any case, my work is nowhere hear finished. Commander Henson is expecting me to give him proof that the beach is 100% sealed.”

“How very nice for you Hermann, just so you know you’re pulling us back for when we go touring the circuit,” grinned Newt.

“What are rambling about now?” Hermann growled slightly.

“Well, we are essentially rock stars now Herms. Every University probably can’t wait to get their hands on us.”

“Well, maybe before you blunder about throwing your face all about the face of the earth, you would do well to figure out your identity, lest more of your ‘friends’ turn up to demand your attention.”

“Oh shit,” Newt said, “I forgot about that.”

He pressed the heel of his hand to his forehead, “Man, I have the worst headache-”

And with that, Newt collapsed. 

\---

“What the hell did you do to yourself this time Charlie?” Frank said when they all burst into the LOCCENT medical center the next morning.

Newton was reclining in his bed, fiddling at his fingers, the man with the slicked back hair from before, Tendo Choi, and Hermann sitting beside him.

“Who let you guys in here?” Newt asked, but smiling a bit, knowing in the back of his mind what the answer would probably be.

“Oh we just snuck in, we’re not dealing with doctors and stuff right now,” Dee explained, “took us forever to get in a second time though, apparently people were already talking about a ‘group of miscreatins’ who got passed security yesterday.”

“You do know that they are referring to us?” Dennis asked.

“Of course I know they’re referring to us loser,” Dee snidely commented, “But we’re not here to squabble we’re here for Char- Goddamn we’re here for Newt.”

“I will never get used to that name,” Mac shook his head.

Tendo turned around in his seat looking like he was trying very hard not to laugh and the gangs bickering while Hermann was looking more and more furious the longer they talked.

Tendo stood up and he stuck out his hand, “Sorry I didn’t introduce myself last night. Tendo Choi, J-Tech Technician. Also Newt’s drinking buddy. Also most good looking person in the Dome.”

“Well that’s debatable,” Newt snickered.

“That’s not what you said when we made out that one time.”

“We agreed not to talk about that, asshole,” he laughed loudly.

Hermann, if possible, frowned harder, and he made a sideways glance at Newt, who cut off his own laughter.

“Oh my god I hate that silent communication you guys do, it’s really creepy.”

“I blame it on the drift,” Newt piped up again.

“Oh no, you guys were doing that long before any drift. It grossed me out for years.”  
“Yeah this is fascinating, Charlie has a new best friend and he’s also gay which god will strike him down for, but is he going to be okay?” Mac said.

“It’s really cool that you talk about me like I’m not here Mac, it’s really affectionate.”

“Charlie, we’ll work on fixing your evil homosexual feelings later, but for serious bro, your head, is it okay? Did working next to the giant monsters give you like brain cancer? What’s going on?”

At that moment, a man walked into the room with a white lab coat on, carrying a clipboard, and everyone turned to look at him expectantly.

“Who are these people?” he said.

“Ruffians,” Hermann murmured. 

“Shhh Herms no,” Newt made wild hand gestures, “Don’t.”

Hermann raised his brows, but needless to say, Newt was right to try and warn him.

“Who are you calling ruffians?” Dee half snarled, “I’m not a ruffian, and who are you to talk, you-“

“Dee!” Newt could already feel it coming.

“-Cripple!”

Newt wapped himself in the face, and Hermann went red, stood up and walked out of the room on shaking legs. 

Newt crossed his arms and look pointedly at Dee.

“What?! He’s not your friend Newt. We’re your friends,” said Dee.

“Dee, just don’t. If you insult anyone around here again, you might as well get on a plane and go, because I won’t speak to you again,” he frowned.

“Yeah, Jesus Dee. You can’t insult disabled people. That’s like insulting black people. It’s not right. You don’t do that.”

“Whatever you morons. You pretended to be crippled. And you-” she pointed at Charlie, “You pretended to be a disabled war veteran so you could get free lap dances from strippers. You are no better than me.”

“My leg was broken!”

“You still did it!”

“You did it too!”

“Does anyone want to hear Dr. Geiszler’s diagnosis or should I come back later?” The doctor said.

Tendo, quietly laughing himself to death brushed a tear out of his eye, “Yeah, yeah, lay it on us Doc.” 

“Alright,” the man said, “Well Newton, from what I was able to see, the reason for you collapse was due to stress and lack of sleep. You’ve been overworking yourself and tiring your body out. Couple that with your highly dangerous drifting with Dr. Gottlieb, it was bound to happen.”

“Well what can I say Doc,” Newt shrugged his shoulders, “Science never sleeps.”

“What I am worried about is some scarring we found on your brain scan,” the doctor continued.

“What?” Tendo said.

“What?” Newt repeated.

“Yes, we found very small scars, almost miniscule, in various parts of your brain. Quite frankly, I have no idea how they got there. And nothing in your medical history would indicate that you’ve had any surgeries involving your brain in your life-.”

“Well,” Newt hesitated, looking at Tendo, and then back to the Gang.

He remembers little things about them. Like that everyone called Dee a bird, and that when she got nervous she started to gag. And Dennis had a system to seduce woman and now he sees that it’s really creepy, and one time Mac’s dad tried to kill them and Frank shit in his bed like six times once. Or five. He can’t remember just how many, but he did shit in his bed. And played weird things with him. And following a nameless woman down the street and for some reason he kept a shard of green glass in a box and he knows somehow that she gave it to him. He has no idea why, but she did and he kept it. 

He had kept that shard of glass with him for ten years and didn’t know why.

“You should probably check my…other medical record,” Newt said.

“Other medical record?”

“I was born under a different name,” he said, “Charlie. Charlie Kelly.”

The name was alien on his tongue, like trying to remember a blurred up memory from when he was a kid, but he can’t figure out if he dreamt it or if he was remembering a story someone told him. He can remember doing things, as Charlie, but can’t quite fit what he was thinking of the time, what he said when he was doing them, what secrets he had in the actions behind his motions.

He knew he was Charlie Kelly but he had no idea who Charlie Kelly was. 

He couldn’t remember what it was like to be a kid.

As either Newton or Charlie.


	3. My Mom was a Musician (Or a prostitute)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gang bring their respects to Hannibal Chau, and Newton has a bit of trouble trying to figure out what is wrong with him. Also there are kisses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Charlie is canonically straight, but Newton is canonically 'Everyone is hot.' In the DVD extras, Newt's romantic interest is listed as 'anyone who would have him,' and that's kind of sad and lonely.

LOCCENT Medical Center

3 o’clock in the afternoon

Tendo was able to convince the Gang to leave the room and the Shatterdome altogether for a bit under the guise that Newton had to rest, because obviously, “We’re all dealing with some weird ass shit we don’t understand so why don’t you all go check out Hong Kong while we figure out what’s going on.”

Getting Newt some rest was partly the reason, but Tendo could also tell that he was embarrassed. Probably because one of his longtime friends who just appeared out of nowhere went and insulted the one other person at the Shatterdome who could stand him for long periods of time. And the fact that they had that weird mind meld thing going on where they could just look each other and share conversations and could sense each other’s moods more clearly than he could his own wife. 

He had a theory that they were secretly married and the fighting and constantly biting at each other’s throats was just a cover for how madly in love they were with each other. Or the two morons were just suffering from unresolved sexual tension and both of them were going to explode with want one day. The Wei triplets had a pool going too, rest their souls, Tendo smiled sadly. Jin even used to joke about getting a kazoo just to play it once they realized their feelings for each other. Tendo idly wondered where he might have kept it.

But one of his friends was alive, and possibly not doing so very well, so Tendo worked on focusing his attentions on Newt now, and mourning for his fallen comrades later. And right now what Newt needed was to talk to Hermann, so he went out to find him.

He searched in the lab first, and when he couldn’t find him there, he immediately went for his room. If it were anyone else, he would have checked the kitchens, but Hermann was intensely private and probably went to go brood where no one else can find him.

He knocked on his door and Hermann opened up on the second knock.

“Mr. Choi,” Hermann warbled and Tendo waved it off, “How many times do I have to tell you to call me Tendo? I know you only do it to Newt because it pisses him off and you can’t help yourself, but we’re friends Hermann.”

“Well, yes, but -” Hermann stuttered and Tendo smiled, “Look, we’ll worry about your hang-ups about names later, you should really go talk to Newt. I got his friends to leave the dome for a bit and he really needs to talk to you.”

“I have nothing to say to him. His friends behave like rotten children and the fact that he chooses to associate with them-” 

“He really did give a stern talking to that women, um, Dee I think her name was. Yeah, he was all kinds of pissed Hermann. The only reason I think he didn’t say anything then was because you walked out so fast.”

Hermann let out a heavy sigh, before gesturing Tendo to enter his room. He didn’t like standing still for too long, and he really needed to sit down.

Tendo leaned against his desk while Hermann sat down, and finally he asked, “So, what is Newton’s diagnosis? It’s not anything too serious is it?”

“Oh, yeah, right, here’s the thing…” Tendo bit his lip and cast his eyes to the far end of the wall, not wanting to meet Hermann’s eyes, “See, the thing is, they can’t find any real reason for Newt’s headaches and why he collapsed, they’re all just pegging it down to stress, and you know they did some scans to make sure that it wasn’t a side effect of the drift….the docs say they found scars on Newt’s brain? Or something like that. They don’t know how they got there.”

Hermann’s eyes widened at the knowledge, frowning at the idea that something was happening to his partner, and his friend, and no one could figure out why it was happening. First those people, then Newt’s headaches, the sad look on his face when he told Hermann he couldn’t remember much from ten years ago. Something was wrong and it was turning his stomach.

“He really wants to talk to you, brother, I can tell. He’s got that sad look on his face. Downtrodden puppy left out in the cold. You should go see him,” Tendo spoke again.

He sighed heavily, messaging his temple with one arm, before finally deciding to get up, showing Tendo to the door, “I’ll speak with him,” Hermann said, “I’m just going to pop into the mess hall and get him some food. Lord knows how picky he is and won’t touch the food they bring him in medical. Thank you, Tendo.”

Tendo nodded and smiled, walking out and down the hall.

They weren’t married but if they were they’d probably made the rest of world’s married couples look bad. 

\---

Dennis could not stand the smell that was wafting around the bone slums. It smelled like rotting flesh and fish. It was also crowded, so everything stunk of sweat and unwashed armpit, and people were all yelling and screaming at each other in another language. 

“Oh my god Frank, why are we here? Why didn’t we go to the nicer part of time like that technician guy told us to go? Or at least stay at our hotel?”

“I’m agreeing with Dennis here Frank, this place stinks. It smells worse that Charlie’s apartment when Charlie was still living there.”

“I told you ungrateful brats,” Frank spat, “We’re going to go see my associate here. You know? They guy who got us the plane to even come here? We’re going to show our respect. And Deandra, I swear, if you start complaining about your stupid luggage to him he’s going to slit your throat, so do yourself a favor a zip it.”

Another screaming woman jumped in front of them, this time in Dee’s face, so she screamed in return and slapped her soundly, before sprinting behind Mac and grabbing his arm.

“Get off me Dee! Honestly gross! I don’t want your bird like claws in my muscles!”

“Shut up everyone here is disgusting!” Dee shrieked, “Oh my god I’m going to be kidnapped and sold to a shop! Frank, Frank, we got to go. We got to go because I can’t stand this place,” she sounded close to hyperventilating. 

“Jesus Dee, calm down, you’re acting like anyone would even want to buy you!” Dennis frowned, “No one in their right mind would want to buy your bony ass. You’re disgusting. You look like a skeleton.”

Dee leaned over and attempted to claw at Dennis’s face, but she didn’t want to relinquish her hold on Mac, so she missed several times while screaming incessantly.

“Dennis, shut your sister up. We’re almost there,” Frank said, making another turn down the street, “Now, here are the ground rules and you morons are going to follow them to the T. Don’t touch anything, or anyone. Don’t talk back to anyone either. Actually, it’d be best if none of you spoke unless to grovel. He doesn’t give a shit about any of you so you’ll all say thank you every time he so much as mentions the plane your poor asses were on. Do not get mouthy. Dennis, do not hit on any of the women either. Because everyone there is armed and dangerous and without so much as blinking they’ll gut ya and not lose any sleep over it. Are we all clear?”

“Jesus Christ Frank how did you even meet this guy?”

“That’s none of your business,” Frank chortled, “Just tell me that we all understand each other.”

“Yeah Frank, we know. Don’t touch anything and don’t speak unless to kiss some stranger’s ass, we get it,” Dennis nodded.

“And no flirting either Dennis,” Dee sneered.

“I said I GET it Dee,” growled Dennis.

“Shut up, we’re here,” Frank said, gesturing to a door, taking the handle and opening it so they could step inside.

\---

Hermann made his way into Newton’s room, holding a plate of what appeared to be chicken next to some convincing mac and cheese, one of Newt’s favorites. Next to that was a biscuit and some orange juice. Newt was asleep when he walked in, so he placed it next to the bedside table and sat down to wait for him to wake up. As soon as he sat down however, the chair scraped the floor and Newt jolted awake. 

“Who’s tha-! whuh?” Newt babbled, eyes wide and hair in disarray, looking at Herman, who smiled lightly.

“I brought you some food. You’ve indicated a distaste for the hospital food in the past.”

Newt’s face instantly lit up, turning around to look at the food that Hermann gestured to, grabbing the plate greedily and instantly began to shovel macaroni into his mouth, “’erman you are th’ bestche,” he said with a full mouth.

“Why are you always disgusting?” Hermann frowned and furrowed his brows in displeasure.

Newt swallowed and smirked happily, “Why are you always so good to me Herms?”

“If I didn’t it’s likely you would have killed yourself with neglect,” Hermann countered, but without a hint of maliciousness. 

There was a long stretch of silence after that, while Newt continued to eat his meal. Hermann just watched him silently while Newt ate, completely content with the silence. Well, silence apart from Newt’s chewing. There were often moments like this, when both of them were completely quiet in each other’s company, perfectly happy with the silence the other offered. 

When Newt was done with his meal, he wiped his mouth with the napkin Hermann gave him and sighed with content, looking over at Hermann and smiled widely, his silent way of thanking his lab partner.

“I want to apologize for what Dee said by the way,” Newt finally said, “I know you can’t stand them, but they are my friends. And they’re awful, terrible people,” he cracked a smile at that, “No one liked any of us back home, so we kind of had to stick together because we really didn’t have any other option. Even though we stabbed each other in the back a lot. Sometimes literally. But. What Sweet Dee said, insulting you like that, I told her if she said something like that again- well….” Newt trailed off at that, and Hermann nodded.

“It’s quite alright, I understand Newton,” he said, “I find the longer I stay away from them, the easier it will be to put up with them the next time I see them,” he frowned, “But Tendo came to speak to me earlier, about your….brain lesions?”

“I don’t think they’re lesions, the doctor said it was scarring,” Newt shook his head, “I’ve never had surgery on my brain before, and he said on my file there isn’t any record of me getting anything like that, but with everything that’s been happening….” Newt trailed off, and began to pick at the beads around his wrist.

“Newton,” Hermann couldn’t tell what he was thinking for once, so he reached out to lay a reassuring hand on his arm, squeezing lightly,

“I asked them to get a different file,” Newton said, “My file from my other name. Charlie Kelly.”

“The name your friends called you,” Hermann said the word friends like it was a dirty word, but if it was in reference to the Gang, it probably was.

“Yeah,” Newt nodded, “Don’t you find it a little weird? I haven’t thought about them in ten years and I knew them basically all my life. Well, except Frank, but I went to high school with Mac and Dennis and Dee. We called her the aluminum monster because she had problems with her spine and she needed to wear this ugly ass brace. But yeah, I didn’t even remember them until they showed up yesterday.”

“Singing that awful song,” Hermann muttered.

“Oh yeah. Day Man. It was a song I wrote. Well, Dennis helped me write it, but I wrote a whole play. It was because I was proposing to this girl. I can’t remember her name, and she said no, but that was the song.”

Hermann sighed, which was a good indication he wanted Newton to continue with what he was talking about originally.

“Oh yeah, right, well, It’s pretty weird that I don’t remember most of my life, and I can’t really remember going to college or anything else. And the TIMELINES don’t fit either! When did I have enough time to go to MIT when I was living in Philly til about ten years ago, I think! I was too afraid to leave Philly too, so, something’s definitely up Hermann! And I’m officially freaking out about it!”

“Well, when the doctor gets here, we’ll be able to sort this whole mess out,” Hermann said reassuringly, but even he didn’t entirely believe what he said himself.

At that moment, the door opened, and the doctor came in, but with a disgruntled frown on his face.

\---

Mac was really digging this place. Lots of gangsters everywhere, shady doors opening up and dangerous people with frowns walking around. Gross stuff in jars. It was like a movie. He pointed at various jars and asked the guy with thinning white hair, “What do these do?”

“I’d love to tell you pal, but judging from your state, I’m guessing you couldn’t afford it anyway,” the man laughed.

“I just wanted to know…” Mac frowned.

“We don’t have time for this Mac,” Frank growled, “Remember, show some respect. This guy is worth more than ten of you, easy.”

“Oh my god I don’t care Frank,” Dee groaned, “Let’s just hurry up and go. This place reeks.”

“That’d be the ammonia you’re smelling,” a voice said from behind them, and the gang turned around and saw a large man with a red suit and thick glasses coming to great him, his thick hair white and traces of a scar on his left eye. He jingled when he moved and Mac looked down to see he had gold plated shoes.

“Hannibal you old bastard,” Frank grinned, moving forward to shake his hand vigorously, “How are you?”

“Nice to see ya Frank,” Hannibal smirked, darting over to look at Dee, Dennis, and Mac. Dee visibly shrunk away from his gaze, grabbing onto Mac’s arm again, “These your friends?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Frank gestured to them, “That’s Dee and Dennis, the brats I raised, and their friend Mac. We own a small bar together in Philly. We’re here to visit Charlie.”

“Yeah, Geiszler,” Hannibal laughed, “Crazy little bastard. Never would have pegged him to know an old thief like you Frank. Although, gotta admit, that kid is one tough asshole. I sent him out to the public shelters to face a Kaiju, and he came crawling back here and he had the gall to DEMAND a Kaiju brain from me. He’s got some balls on him, a few screws loose too, but he ended up savin the goddamn world,” Hannibal chuckled again, this time more fondly, “It did great for business too. The prices for Kaiju bone powder have sky rocketed. Are you gonna go see that kid again today?” he asked.

“Yeah, he’s in the hospital right now, he’s got some problems in his brain or something, so we just came out to let him rest,” Frank nodded, “Something’s up with Charlie though. They found something in his brain. It’s really sketchy shit Chau. Really sketchy. You know anyone working with cutting up people like that?”

“Not that I can recall,” Hannibal crossed his arms, “I’ll ask around, see what I can dig up. Hope that kid’s doin alright though. In fact, would you mind bringing him a gift from me, a little Thank You from his bud Hannibal Chau?”

Frank nodded eagerly, waving his hands, “Don’t worry about it. Anything for a guy who was willing to fly my old ass across the world.” Frank immediately turned around to look at the rest of the gang, who were bewildering looking at the rest of the room and the alien things that various people were working on.

“Oh!” they all said in unison, catching Frank’s stare, “Oh yes we’re really grateful for that, thank you!”

“The plane was awesome man thanks!”

“Totally great, what you did, it was incredible.”

“About my luggage though-” and Mac elbowed Dee forcefully in the stomach that she gasped out loud and slumped over, “Never mind!” she squeaked. 

It was almost comical to see Frank and Hannibal standing next to each other, two old criminals talking business, but Frank was a downright bastard and Hannibal just looked downright dangerous, like he could snap a man’s spine with his bare hands, so Mac thought it’d be best if Dee just kept her mouth shut. It’d probably save her life. And there was a good looking bald woman in the corner, watching them while she lurked, and Dennis made no move towards her. It seemed like he was taking Frank’s word to heart, and Mac breathed a small sigh of relief. He assessed the situation right when they walked in, and this was nothing compared to the time they got mixed up with the mafia in Philly. This was the big leagues. This was otherworldly dark as shit underground crap that Frank had walked them into, and he would feel a hell of a lot safer once they were back at the base with the giant robots. Hell, he’d feel a lot safer just standing next to the Jaeger pilot from yesterday. But for now, they’d all have to grit their teeth and bare it while Frank talked shop with this huge bastard.

\---

“I have good news and bad news,” the doctor said, when he walked in.

“Okay? So what’s the bad news?” Newton said, fisting his hands in his sheets.

“It relates to the good news,” the doctor said, “I found your medical file, Charlie Kelly, but it’s been permanently sealed. I’m not authorized to look at it.”

“Well, surely, Newton would be allowed to, it’s his file -” Hermann began, but the doctor waved at him, “Unless Dr. Geiszler has any way to prove that he is indeed Charlie Kelly, then he cannot have access to the file. I would do a blood test in order to prove that you are indeed Mr. Kelly, but because I cannot access your files, I would have nothing to base a comparison on. You can try asking for your parents or guardians’ permission to look at the file-”

“Shit, I’m not sure if my parents actually exist,” Newt half sobbed, before sitting up, “Wait, Frank said something about my mom still living in Philly. And I’m pretty sure Frank is my dad but we never actually got the test, but if my mom is still alive, she could give them permission to get my file.”

“When is that atrocious man returning?” asked Hermann.

“Well I don’t know,” Newton frowned, “Dee did give me her number though, when they went out. Can I use your phone?”

“Of course,” Hermann stood up, “It’s in my room, I’ll be back in a moment. You get some rest.”

\---

Dee’s phone started to buzz, and she didn’t want to talk on the phone while Frank and Chau were talking, but it would continue to buzz if she didn’t pick it up, so she went to shut it off but she saw that the number was New-Charlie-Newton’s. 

She picked it up instantly even though Dennis shot her a dirty look, “Yeah Newt honey? It’s Dee.”

“Hey Dee. Can I talk to Frank? It’s important.”

“Frank’s talking to some guy right now. This Chau guy.”

“Holy SHIT!” Newton screeched, “I thought he was dead! Wait, how does Frank know- never mind. We can talk about that later. This is important. Do you know what my mom’s number is?”

“Your mom? No. I don’t know her number. Why do you want to talk to your mom? Oh wait, shit,” Dee swore, “We probably should have told her you were alive huh?”

“What!?” Newt screeched again, “You guys flew all the way from Philly to see me and you didn’t even bother to tell me mom I was alive!”

“We kinda forgot. And I don’t really talk to her all that much. Mac does though. Cause his mom still lives with her.”

“Holy shit how is his mom not dead yet?” Newton wondered aloud, “Okay, okay, fine. Give Mac the phone then. Does he know my mom’s number?”

“Mac, it’s for you,” Dee handed the phone to him and he took it confusedly.

“Hello?”

“Hey Mac, it’s me Newton. Do you have my mom’s phone number by any chance? It’s kind of important.”

“Sure, it’s the same as my mom’s,” Mac answered, and gave Newton the number.

“Why do you need her number anyway?” he asked.

“So I can tell her that I’m alive and so she can give the doctors permission to look at my medical file which for some reason is sealed from the public.”

“Oh,” Mac said, “That is a good reason.”

\---

“So Doc, what do I need to do to get you access to my file, before I call my mother up.”

“She’ll need to give me her social security to verify that she is who she says she is, then for her to give me your social security, and after that, I should be able to be granted verification for your file.”

“Alright,” Newton lightly groaned, “Be prepared for screaming. Here we go,” and he dialed her number.

“Hello?” a woman’s voice answered on the third ring, “This is the Kelly residence. Who am I speaking too?”

“Hi mom,” Newton said, voice shaking.

There was a pause on the phone, followed by a deep intake of breath, “What did you just say?”

“It’s me Mom,” Newton answered, “It’s Charlie.”

The woman on the other line began to start crying, great heaping sobs before finally saying, “Charlie? Is that my sweet baby Charlie? Are you real?”

“It’s me,” Newt half cried, “I’m sorry Mom. I’m sorry.”

“Where are you?!” she screamed, “They said you were dead! They said you were gone! I’ll go pick you up right now! I’ll go right now!”

“Mom! Mom, I’m in Hong Kong, you can’t come get me. I need your help,” Newt cooed at him mother, trying to calm her down. 

“Anything!” she half sobbed, “Anything, anything for my bouncing baby boy. Anything for you darling! And then you’ll come home right? So I can hold you again! At the least! You’ll come to visit mommy soon won’t you sweetheart? Charlie?”

“Of course Mom!” Newt laughed and cried, “As soon as I can, I’m going to fly to Philly, and I’ll even stay in my old room for a while, just to see you Mom. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s alright,” his mother began to cry freely now, “Just tell me what you need baby, and I’ll get it for you. I’ll send it to you in the express mail. Whatever you want. Do you need food? I’ll send you some food.”

“No, that’s okay mom,” Newt told her, “I need you to tell this doctor your social security number. And then he’s going to ask for mine. And then when he asks you permission to look at my medical file, you tell him that you said it was okay. Can you do that for me mom?”

“Oh…baby. I don’t have your social security.”

“What,” Newt deadpanned.

He was really regretting putting her on speakerphone at this point.

“Well, remember when I told you that Frank wanted an abortion? And I went to get one but you survived it anyway? I never did get your birth certificate or your social security. I was afraid of what Frank was going to say.”

Newt went into a stunned silence, and he was silent for several minutes that his mother called his name several times. 

“Charlie?” she said, voice shaking from the phone, and Hermann put his hand on Newt’s holding it lightly.

“Mom, are you telling me that you have no proof that I’m your son.”

“Well, can’t you just tell the doctor that I said you were my son?”

“No Mom! You can’t just TELL the doctor that I am who you say I am. You need proof! That’s why I need my social security!”

“Don’t yell at me Charlie!” she snapped, “Where have you been all these years anyway? Why did you never call your mother? Charlie?”

“Just,” Newton breathed slowly, “Can you still tell the doctor your social security Mom? Can you tell them that at least?”

“Okay Charlie,” she said, “I can give him my number.”

And with that, Newton handed the phone to the doctor, who put the phone on silent. He pulled out a clipboard and a pen.

“Hello Ms. Kelly. My name is Dr. Mowler. Can you please give me your social security number for verification? Uh huh,” he dotted down her number, and then he finished jotted it down, “And can I please get permission to view your son’s personal medical file? Would you mind waiting on the line?” he put the phone down to his shoulder, “I’m going to leave the room gentleman, and she’ll formally give permission to our record director, and that should be enough to be granted access, excuse me.”

He left the room with Hermann’s phone, and both of them sat on Newt’s bed, unmoving.

“God,” Newton breathed, “Even before all this my life was shitty. Fuck. My mom wanted to abort me. How fucked up is that? Why the fuck would she tell me? Why didn’t I remember she told me?”

Tears pricked in his eyes, and Hermann couldn’t stand it much longer, he leaned forward and began to kiss Newt’s forehead. Newt, still facing forward, brought his hand to Hermann’s cheek to pull him closer, before he turned to capture Hermann’s lips with his own. Their lips remained unmoving but Newt clutched to his arms, tight, afraid to let go.


	4. I have twin sisters?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dee borrows Hermann's jacket and gets hit on by a Hispanic girl with bad hair.

Bone slums

7’o clock at night

It took longer than the Gang expected to get Frank to shut the hell up to Hannibal about whatever the fuck they were talking about. But finally, they were done and Dee was trying to shovel everyone out. She was tired, hungry, and irritated, and the sooner she could get back to her hotel room the better.

However, before they can get out, Hannibal reminded Frank that he wanted him to deliver his gift to Charlie.

Little gift turned out to be large truck with huge glass cases full of monster guts.

“You can’t be serious,” Dee groaned, wringing her hands, “No arguments Deandra, we’re gonna do what the man wants, and the man wants to send Charlie a gift for saving the world.”

“But do I really have to sit in the back of the truck with the monster parts? This shit reeks Frank.”

“There’s no room in the front of the truck for you Deandra, and considering your history with cars, I don’t trust you to drive.”

“Because you boners crash and destroy every car I own Frank!” Dee screamed, which caused Dennis to wave his arms, “Oh my god Dee, your screeching is like listening to an animal die. No one cares about your cars Dee.”

“Oh!” Dee snarled, “When we get back I’m DISMANTLING your stupid car with my bare hands!”

“”Whoa Dee, no need to get violent.”

“Yeah Dee, let’s be rational,” Mac nodded.

Dee let out another shriek, but climbed into the back of the truck anyway.

\---

Hermann continued to grapple with Newt’s arms, which were holding him incredibly tightly as they continued to kiss. Hermann’s heart was jumping higher and higher until he could feel it in his throat. However, when he felt the heat of Newton’s tears hit his face he pulled away.

Newt didn’t seem to mind, he continued to smile and wipe his tears away from his eyes, letting out a small, “Thank you Herms.”

Newt then sighed heavily and pulled away. He was still smiling so Hermann didn’t take it as a rejection, rather that Newton was too emotional to deal with whatever they ‘had.’ They discussed it once, very, very briefly after their drift, and they agreed that whatever they felt could wait after they were sure this ‘closeness’ wasn’t a side effect of the drift.

Even so, watching Newton slowly breaking apart in front of him proved too much for Hermann, so he offered a small comfort the only way he thought suitable. They would deal with it later.

Newton however continued to hold his hand, and they waited for the doctor to return. 

After about several minutes, Dr. Mowler came back with Hermann’s phone and a confused look on his face.

“I’m sorry, Dr. Geiszler,” Mowler said, “Even with verification from your mother, I couldn’t gain access to your medical records as Charlie Kelly. I’ve never seen anything like it before. The files are sealed. There’s nothing more I can do.”

The way Hermann exploded shook Newton, and he prayed that Dr. Mowler didn’t understand German, because the things he was saying were gruesome. 

\---

Dee was on the verge of tears when she emerged from the back of the truck. It was understandable because it looked like she was splashed by some fluids in the truck. 

“I hate all of you,” she was crying taking deep heaping breathes, “I hate all of you so much, so much.”

“Jesus Dee, what happened,” Newt walked over. The medical staff saw fit to release him after there was nothing much they could do. Tendo came to tell them that his friends returned and they were parked in the lower bay with a surprise for him. 

“What happened is that Frank drives like a maniac is what happened!” Dee screamed, “Oh god I’m going to vomit!” she breathed heavily again, choking at the intake.

“Breathe Dee!” Newt told her, “You’re going to pass out!” He grabbed her hand, and started to breathe deeply, “Just follow, just breathe Dee.”

He repeated this until she was able to breathe normally, and then she smiled through her tears, and he turned away and called for Tendo, “Can you take Sweet Dee to the showers and get her new clothes?”

“Sure,” Tendo said, holding Dee’s arms, “C’mon sister, let’s go,”

They walked away, and Dennis looked at Newt in amazement.

“How did you diffuse her shit attack so quickly? She usually explodes and screams for two hours.”

“Oh yeah, I’m pretty sure Dee has chronic anxiety. It’s why she gets immediately nervous when she receives attention,” Newt said, “I’m pretty sure I have it too, but I have medication for it, if she doesn’t watch out she can probably rupture something.”

“Oh,” Dennis said, “Well that makes sense,”

“Yeah,” Newt nodded, “So, what do we have here?”

“Courtesy from Hannibal Chau,” Frank said, “He sends his love with bonafide Monster insides. "Enjoy,” and he opened the back doors of the truck wide.”

“Holy shit Frank,” Newton trilled, “Oh my god. Is that a stomach!? Shit that looks like an intact liver! Oh my god! I’ve died and gone to Heaven!” He jumped into the truck and kissed one of the glass cases.

“Whoa Charlie. Don’t pop a chub over guts!” Mac teased.

“Shut up Mac! This shit is my bread and butter! Oh god!” He jumped out of the truck and went to hug them.

“No homo Charlie, God.” Mac said, actually managing to look uncomfortable. 

“Jesus Mac!” said Newt, “I want to hug you not suck your dick.”

“Well, how am I supposed to know?” Mac interjected, “You’re gone for ten years and we come to get you and you’re talking about kissing random dudes? That ain’t right Charlie.”

“My name is Newton,” he said, “And who I kiss is my business Mac. It’s not yours.”

“Yeah, between you and God,” Mac’s voice was becoming shrilly.

“Hey Mac! Mac!” Dennis grabbed his arm, “So he’s gay, man. C’mon. It’s Charlie dude. We thought he was dead for ten years and he’s here and so what if he’s a little gay?”

“There ain’t nothin wrong with it,” Frank said, “Some real respectable men are gay. There ain’t no harm in it. And screw god. He left us all to rot while we got our asses kicked by giant monsters. I say fuck ‘em. If our little Charlie boy saved our lives –I say he can suck all the dicks he wants.”

“Yeah, uh, thanks Frank, that’s enough,” Newt told him.

“If someone likes to get bummed up the rear end I say that’s their own business.”

“That’s enough Frank,” Newt said, “But just for clarity, I’m not gay. People are hot.”

“That’s just something girls say when they don’t want to admit they’re lesbians or when they want to seem more interesting.”

“Really Mac. You want to go there? Because I distinctly remember you having sex with that transgendered woman. Do you think you have room to talk?”

“It doesn’t count! She was having it removed! She looked like a chick!”

“Mac, she was a chick. You’re just ashamed that she was Trans.”

“No I wasn’t!” Mac crossed his arms.

“Dude! You hid it like it was a dirty secret we all thought you were a serial killer! That’s how shameful you made it!”

“He’s got a point Mac,” Dennis said.

“Yeah, let it go Mac.” Frank said, “Oh that reminds me, Hannibal told me to give you this,” he handed him a disposable phone, “Hannibal wants you to call him and throw away the phone.”

“What part of this conversation reminded you of that?” Newton asked after taking the phone.

“It didn’t, I just wanted Mac to stop bitching about gay guys,” he shrugged his shoulders.

Newton rolled his eyes, and then clicked on the only number that was programmed into the phone.

It ringed twice and then there was the click, “Hey kid,” Hannibal’s gruff voice came from the other side of the phone, “How do you like your gift?”

“Just two questions. How are you alive and do I have to give up an arm and a leg Full Metal Alchemist style for all this?”

“I’m a tough bastard kid, it’ll take more than an underdeveloped monster to put an end to me,” and Newton can almost see his golden smile from the way he said it, “Also, I don’t know what you were blabbering about, but no, you don’t have to give me anything for the merchandise. It’s my thankful for doing wonders for my business. Sales are through the roof. If you need everything from me kid, all you have to do is ask.”

“Wow, that’s actually really…generous of you. Like really generous. I feel like I’m selling my soul actually.”

Hannibal laughed, “Fair enough kid. Anyway, I heard from Frank that some really shady shit has been going on in your brain. Anything I can do about it.”

“Nah. I mean. I’m sure it’s nothing. But I’m a little worried, because for some reason I can’t access my medical file. Is that even legal?”

“Shouldn’t be, and I’m pretty much an expert on shit that is or ain’t legal. What did that doc tell you?”

“That the file was sealed and encrypted. He doesn’t even understand it himself. Anyway, I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“Actually,” Hannibal said, “I think I know someone who can help you out. When can you escape?”

“I’m not a prisoner,” Newt laughed, “I can leave when I want. Why?”

“Cause I’m going to give you directions to someone who can probably help you out, moron.”

“Oh,” Newton scratched the back of his head, “I guess that makes sense.”

“Just shut up and pay attention. I’m not going to say this twice.”

\---

“Newton, remind me again why you’re asking advice from Hannibal Chau?” Hermann asked while they were walking around Hong Kong.

“Because Hannibal just stocked my entire freezer with Kaiju parts that I’ve only dreamed of getting my hands on.”

“Are you sure you can trust him?”

“Nope. That’s why I brought you.”

“Really Newton,” Hermann said, rolling his eyes, “I would have brought Mr. Beckett.”

“I don’t know, after I saw you take out Dennis and Mac, you’ve become a total badass in my eyes.”

Hermann had to try very hard in order not to laugh, but he let himself smile anyway.

“And why did you losers bring me?” Dee asked behind them, her small frame being swallowed by Hermann’s coat, after she complained half of the way there about how cold she was. The fur collar around her face was comical and Newton laughed for five minutes straight about it.

“I’m fighting with Mac, and he goes wherever Dennis goes, so I told Dennis to hang out with Rayleigh.”

“You unleashed those three on Rayleigh again?” Hermann said, “Rather cruel of you Newton.”

“And I brought Dee cause when she fights she fights dirty,” Newt grinned, “Plus I like hanging around her.”

“That’s sweet Newt,” Dee said, “Really sweet. It warms the cockles of my heart.”

“There’s that charming personality.”

“Fuck yourself,” Dee hissed.

“We’re here,” Newt said, stopping in front of a small apartment complex, walking in and heading towards the room Hannibal told him to head too.

“Who is this person Hannibal told you about?” Hermann asked.

“He said he was like a hacker. Or something like that. He runs Hannibal’s online business when people want to buy things undercover and then he operates the dummy accounts so the feds don’t catch on.”

“Comforting,” Hermann muttered, “And how do we know how to trust THIS charming man?”

“We don’t,” Newton grinned, “But like I always say. Fortune –” 

“-favors the brave,” Hermann finished for him.

They found the door and knocked, and the door opened in an instant.

A girl stood in the door, a couple inches shorter than Newt, with dark, tanned skin and bright pink hair, which was shaved on the left side. She was wearing a ratty black shirt with loose black long johns, and she had make-up smudges around her eyes.

“Oh, sorry, wrong door-”

“You Geiszler?” she sniffed, “Chau said you’d be stopping by. Come on in,” she said as she opened the door wider to accompany them.

She smiled at all of them but did a double take at Dee, and she immediately batted her eyelashes and grinned, “Hey beautiful,” the girl winked.

Dee frowned and moved away from the girl, and trailed closely behind Hermann. Once they were in, the girl closed the door behind them. The room smelt heavily like cigarettes and Lysol spray in an attempt to mask the smoke. There was a red couch in one corner and an entire wall dedicated to computers in another, with several keyboards and hard drives. She indicated the couch for them to sit down.

“So you’re –” Newt started, but he was interrupted by her nodding, “Adrian. It’s short for Adrianna. If you call me Adrianna you’re gonna find out what color you are on the inside,” she grinned, grabbing an open Coke can on the coffee table and taking a swig, and then she winked at Dee again, “Who’s the legs?”

“This is Sweet Dee. She’s here for moral support.”

“I can dig it,” she laughed, “So what can I do for you?”

“I need help getting access to my medical file. It’s sealed and my doctor can’t get to it. Even after having permission from my mother. I didn’t even think it was legal to do that.”

“It isn’t,” she rubbed her mouth, “Chau was right. That’s shade. Shade as fuck. I can help,” she smiled, “For a price.”

“Well what do you want.”

“Kiss from your friend,” Adrian smiled wider.

“Ew, no way. Gross.”

“Eh,” Adrian shrugged her shoulders, “Worth a shot. Just come to my little corner of the universe and I’ll see what I can do.”

Newt followed her over and looked over her shoulder, leaving Hermann and Dee to sit alone on the couch. Dee looked like she was roosting inside Hermann’s jacket and they eyed each but not actually looking at each other.

“Oh, ah,” Dee said, “Sorry for calling you a cripple.”

“That’s um,” Hermann said, equally as awkward, “It’s fine.”

“You don’t mean that,” she said.

“No I don’t.”

“So, can you hit me up with your name Kaiju boy?” Adrian asked.

“It’s Charlie Kelly,” he told her, “And my birthplace is Philly. My mother is Bonnie Kelly. I have twin sisters,” he stopped for a moment, “Holy shit I just remembered I have sisters.”

“Okay, okay, I don’t need your life story. Just give me your social security.”

“I uh-” Newt frowned, “I don’t have one. My mom had an abortion and then had me and didn’t tell anyone about it.”

“Jesus you just had to make it that much easier for me huh?” Adrian said, “Alright. I can work with this.”

She tapped away at her computer screen, staring down internet pages that looked like government severs, and then she turned on another monitor and millions of lines of code stared back at her.

“This is nowhere near legal is it?”

“Nope. If we get caught even your status at the PPDC will not do you any favors. We’ll probably get twenty five to life.”

“Uh huh,” Newt nodded, “You got anything to drink around here?”

“Kitchen is down the hall on the left.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Charlie has twin sisters! They're brought up briefly in the episode 'Charlie Got Molested,' and they're never mentioned again.


	5. I'm pretty sure my friends are Scum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newt and Hermann have finally come to terms with their feelings for one another.
> 
> Or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a small update to bridge the shit that is going to inevitably hit the fan.

Several hours into Adrian’s typing, Newton begins to feel anxious. She hurriedly types at switches monitors and turns on more, until her entire workspace is whirring away and she gives no indication of slowing down, and every couple of minutes he looks over at Dee and Hermann, who refuse to make eye contact with each other. Dee manages to burrow herself deeper into Hermann’s jacket, despite the fact that Adrian’s apartment is far from freezing. She’s got high red spots in her cheeks and Newton guessed that she just felt embarrassed about taking it off now after wearing it for so long. Dee was odd that way, and stubborn. Hermann however was almost as stubborn as she was, and even though he was looking more fatigued by the minute, he didn’t say anything about how long Adrian was working or how they had to get back soon, as Newt was sure that’s what he wanted to say.

Finally, Adrian stopped typing and slumped in her seat, sighing and rubbing her palms into her eyes.

“So, how’s it going?” Newton asked, and Adrian seemed to snap out of her daze, and then she snorted, “Oh right, you’re all still here. Um, if you guys want something to eat, I have leftover pizza in the fridge. Or some instant ramen. Or beers, if you’re thirsty,” she rubbed her face again and yawned heavily.

“Actually, we should probably be heading back soon anyway,” Hermann said, standing up and looking like he wanted nothing more than to get back to the Shatterdome, and Dee followed suit, shaking her head vigorously, “Yeah, I have to….make sure my friends haven’t killed each other. Probably.”

Adrian laughed, and waved her arm and nodded, “Yeah, I know, this ain’t the most interesting thing in the world to watch. I understand. It’ll probably take me a couple of days to figure this shit out anyway,” and she picked up a box of cigarettes and lit one up, “Don’t worry though little man, I’ll get your file,” and with that Adrian took one long drag from her cigarette and exhaled.

“Yeah, uh, if you find anything,” Newt began, and she laughed, “I got your number Osito. Don’t you mind.”

She got up and opened the door for them, winking at Dee again as she passed by, “And you can come by anytime you like,” before sliding a piece of paper into Dee’s hand.

Once they were outside, making their way back to the Shatterdome, did Dee look down at the paper in her hand.

“What’s it say?” Newton asked, although he had a feeling on what it was.

“I think it’s her phone number,” Dee frowned before crumpling it up and tossing it on the ground, “As if,” she snorted.

\---

Shatterdome  
9pm at night

Newton and Dee both staggered in, dead on their feet, while Hermann visibly struggled with standing up right, Newt felt a little bad for Dee, as she still had to collect the rest of the gang and then make their way to the hotel before she could get to sleep, but she complained the whole way back so he didn’t feel that bad for her. 

Hermann however lost all his conscious effort to remain polite, mostly because he was so run down and tired. The complaining from Dee didn’t help his mood.

While making their way back to the mess hall where they were sure the gang had retired, Newton could hear yelling echoing down the halls. The voice sounded distinctly like Tendo’s actually. When they reached the mess hall, Newt’s suspicions were confirmed, as Tendo was yelling at a very shocked and guilty looking Mac and Dennis. Frank, as always, looked like he believed that he was the smartest person in the room whether or not this was true.

“-I can’t believe you came all this way to use him like this, to outright go out of your way to disrespect him, with all he’s done, you-“ Tendo’s yelling was getting higher and Mac and Dennis shrunk closer together, and finally Newt was close enough to shout, “Hey! What’s going on!” without ripping his throat out in exhaustion.

Tendo was visibly pissed, frown pulled all the way down as his arms crossed and he grinded his teeth. His data pad was lying on the table, forgotten.

‘Shit,’ Newton thought, ‘Tendo is really pissed off,’ and Tendo pointed at Dennis and Mac.

“Why don’t you ask your friends?” Tendo half snarled, “Ask her too,” he gestured at Dee.

She immediately started to whine, “Me? What did I do?” and Mac was already voicing over her, “Look Char –Newt. It’s nothing man. It’s nothing.”

“It doesn’t seem like nothing,” Newt huffed, before a thought struck him, “Oh Mac, you didn’t go off him about the kissing thing did you-”

“Oh no brother,” Tendo said, hands at his waist and shaking his head, “Oh but I wish it was. It started out that way but it just kept getting worse.”

“Look, it happened like this,” Dennis interrupted, “Mac was having a disagreement with the nice gentlemen here-”

“My name is Tendo,” he growled, “Or at this point, you can refer to me as Mr. Choi.”

“Mr.Choi,” Dennis repeated, “And it was just a small argument. Things got out of hand, it’s nothing Char –Newt.”

“What the hell did you guys say Dennis,” Newt asked, “No bullshit Dennis. I know you. What did you guys say.”

Dennis bit his lip, and looked away from him, sighing heavily and growling to himself, the way Newt had seen him do many times at women who badgered him into doing things he didn’t want to do or say. Mainly it was I love you or I care about you. And Newt knew that Dennis was going to lie to him. Dennis was about to lie to his face. So in order to save himself the grief, he turned to Tendo and sighed heavily, “What did these two do?”

Tendo glared at the Mac, Dennis and Frank, turned to glare at Dee, and then finally he said, “Your friend Mac did get on my case about when I was joking about kissing you. And started to get on my case about turning you gay or something,” Tendo snorted at that, “Which, let’s be honest Newt, you’re about as straight as the sky is green.”

“Yeah, I know, no need to rub it in Tendo.”

“And so of course, in order to prove that I was not some evil gay overlord here to steal you away, I mentioned Alison, my wife,” he look pointedly at Mac when he said this, “And I also stupidly mentioned about your thing with Hermann,” 

“What thing-?” Hermann interjected, but Tendo continued anyway, “We argued about that of course, and your buddy here did not want to budge on his whole homophobic stance and this one-” he pointed at Dennis, “Told him to be quiet because ‘At this rate, we’re never going to get our janitor back’ and when I asked what they were talking about he-” Tendo was gesturing at Frank now, “Explained that you’re the janitor. The reason why they flew all this way was to take you back home to clean up their bar,” Tendo snarled at the end, putting a hand on Newton’s shoulder. 

Hermann started to yell as well, but of course he was so furious he was switching from German to English, and therefore no one but Newt had any idea what he was yelling about, but it had the desired effect, as the three of them managed to look scared. Frank of course, had no such emotion. It was impossible to scare him or frighten him or make him feel guilty about anything.

A part of Newt was not surprised about what Dennis had said, or the fact that the gang’s true intention was revealed to him. He remembers foggy memories of something called ‘Charlie Work,’ something he hated but yet something he had to do, if only because it was just the way things were. The gang did whatever it is they did, and he did ‘Charlie Work.’

And he was gone and no one was left to do Charlie work for them. No one left to wash the bathroom and fix the TV and bash the rats in and sift the garbage and run through the sewers. Well running through the sewers was mostly something he liked doing out of his own intent, but everything else….. he hated it because none of them did it with him. That he was forced to do it. 

Yeah, Newt was not surprised about this at all, but…..

He was a little disappointed.

\---

“I can’t believe you didn’t send them away,” Hermann told him after Newt told the Gang to go back to their hotel and return the next morning.

“I can’t,” Newton frowned, “Not now. Not when so much….weird shit is happening to me.”

“You have Chau’s girl,” Hermann said, “And she’s perfectly capable of handling this mystery herself. Your ‘friends’ are no longer useful-“

“Kind of like how I’m still useful to them?” Newt said, “Look Herms, it’s what friends do. They eat your food and steal your money. But when it’s just you in a bar fight with a nasty huge motherfucker with an eye patch and a hand as big as your face, they’ll be there to smash a beer bottle over his head and then help you run.”

“Have you ever done something that idiotic?”

“Probably,” Newt sighed, “Just, look, I’m upset. Like, really, really upset because I kind of expected better from them but I know them, and I know better, and they’re all selfish assholes but they’re the only people on this fucking planet who know who I am.”

“I know who you are,” Hermann said, but Newt shook his head fiercely, “I don’t even know who I am.” 

There was a triggering silence in the room, Hermann’s room, and he reached up from where he was sitting on his bed and took Newt’s hands in his, “Then I’ll know enough for both of us,” Hermann said, “And, I can’t believe I’m going to say this, the things you make me do Newton…”

“Yeah?” Newt said, trying to keep the tiniest hint of his smirk out of his voice.

“You’re brilliant and stubborn,” Hermann began, “And you’re the most selfish person I know but you’re also startlingly selfless, and you gave up your life for us all. You’re garish and rude and a million times insensitive, but you’re also passionate and kind. And-“ Hermann looked down, tightening his grip on Newton’s hands in uncertainty, but finally he looked up, “I would also would quite like you to be mine, as well.”

Newt thought he was going to die of laughter with how sappy Hermann was being at this point, but he leaned down to kiss Hermann’s forehead, and then the rest of him.

\---

“I don’t think I want to know,” Newton confessed as he lay next to Hermann. Both of them were silent for several moments, intense make out sessions tended to take their toll, but Newton let out another sigh and curled up to the warm body next to him, “I don’t think I care about what it says on my file. Now I know I have friends and a family in Philadelphia and I have you and that’s all I care about, why would I want to know anything else?”

Hermann said nothing, but he did catch Newton’s hand in his own, and together they drifted off into relatively peaceful sleep, where neither dreamed about the end of the world, or monsters, or tear stained rejections and rude friends. 

It would be the last moment of peace either of them would have for a long, long time.


	6. I Didn't Sign Up for This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrian is the barer of bad news
> 
> Of some very bad news

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While writing this, it strained me emotionally and I had to take a break, so I did a character design of what Adrian is supposed to look like which can be found here http://our-celestial-death.tumblr.com/post/66937698648/i-got-what-you-need-right-here-osito-hey-guys

The Gang phoned Newt that morning, asking him if he would come to their hotel instead of them driving all the way to the Shatterdome. Well, it was Dennis who called, but he could hear Dee in the background saying that they would have breakfast for him. And Frank shouting that Mac was going to put a lid on the whole ‘gay situation,’ as they decided to call it. Hermann was sleeping peacefully next to him and Newt really didn’t want to get out of bed and take public transport all the way to their hotel and actually spend time alone with them. It was the Gang, but then again…. It was the Gang.

Newt finally decided that he was going to give them the benefit of the doubt, so he got dressed and washed up, but before he left he wandered to Hermann’s side and gave him a sloppy kiss underneath his eye.

Hermann’s eyes immediately fluttered open, and he frowned and rubbed at his face while sighing, but Newt whispered, “Just wanted to tell you I’ll be out all morning. G’back to sleep okay?”

Hermann nodded absentmindedly and rolled over on his side and pulled the covers over himself.

\---

Panda Hotel

10am

Newt reached their hotel room with little conflict, and when he knocked on the door Mac answered the door and pulled him in for an awkward bear hug.

“G’morning Mac,” Newt muttered into his shoulder, and Mac held him for long period of time, and then Newt realized Mac was actually speaking, “I was jerk man, we all talked about it, I’m totally sorry man. I’m an asshole.”

“It’s totally okay Mac,” Newt told him, patting his back, “As long as you said you were sorry,” and Mac finally pulled away and smiled widely, “Yeah man, I can’t believe I was being so….like…. stupid man. I was a total ass. Like man, yesterday you looked so bummed out and I started to remember that one time we spent Christmas together and you bit a mall Santa but we still managed to have a good time, and like, who cares about shit like that man. You’re like me best friend Char-Newton.”

“Okay Mac, at this rate you might as well kiss him,” Dee moaned from behind Mac, “Let him get inside first before you ask him to marry you, you boner.”

Mac turned around to punch Dee in the shoulder, and she took it in stride, wincing and rubbing on the place of impact, and Newt was finally given enough room to step inside.

The room itself was nice, with two messy King beds and a table full of food, and there was not a doubt in Newt’s mind that they had probably stolen out of someone else’s room. There was a plate full of strawberries and various other fruit, plus a tray with French toast and waffles, with a bottle of syrup.

“What unfortunate soul did you guys end up nicking from, this shit looks good,” Newt smiled, grabbing a piece of what appeared to be mango and taking a bite.

“We waited outside the Presidential suite until they wheeled in some food and when Dee distracted the bell boy we made off with the cart,” Frank grinned. 

“You’re gonna get caught,” Newt helped himself to another mango and laughed, “I haven’t eaten fresh fruit in like years. I’m really surprised I haven’t gotten scurvy to tell you the truth.”

“This stuff is like so legit,” Dee commented with a mouth full of Strawberries, as they all sat down around the beds, “And I’ve finally gotten my luggage back too, so I can stop dressing like a homeless person and borrowing Dennis’s clothes.”

“Oh my god Dee no one cares,” Mac said rolling his eyes, “You look terrible anyway.”

“Charlie, remember when we tricked Dee into thinking she was funny,” Frank laughed, obviously excited about any topic that would piss off Sweet Dee, “I can’t believe you came up with that plan yourself too. It almost destroyed her.” 

“Frank!” Dee shrieked, pelting him with a pillow on the bed.

“Oh man, I do remember,” Newton nodded, “Although, Dee, you were really scary. Like, I was 90% sure you were going to kill yourself.”

“It was really for your own good Dee,” Mac said, “But my favorite part is that Dennis had no idea the whole time.”

“Shut up,” Dennis chimed in, “It was a heartless trick,” and he shoved an apple slice into his mouth.

“Thank you Dennis,” Dee said smugly.

“I didn’t mean you,” Dennis said, furrowing his eyebrows, “I meant me, there was no reason for not telling me.”

“C’mon dude. There was no way she would have bought it if you were in on it,” Mac said, laughing.

“Yeah Dennis,” Newt found himself saying, “Dee’s more suspicious of you before any of us. And Frank, but Frank’s been lying his ass out of every situation since before the both of you were born so -”

They all laughed, almost quietly to themselves, and they ate in relative silence for several minutes, before Newt deemed in necessary to speak, “You guys do know that I’m not coming back to be your guy’s janitor right?”

Dee was the first person to look at him, and she rubbed her shoulder absentmindedly and Dennis just refused to look at him. Mac, who was sitting next to him, was also equally as silent.

Then Frank spoke, “Yeah, fuck Charlie. I mean, at first it was like that, and we were actually planning on riding on your fame -” 

“Frank,” Dennis said but Frank held up his hand, “Shut up Dennis.” And then he coughed and continued, “Look, the point of it is, we got along fine with you gone. It’s not like the bar is any WORSE than it was when you left. We learned to deal with you not being around,” and he paused, shoving a piece of toast into his mouth, fingers covered in syrup, “We’re all too stubborn to say it, and I might be an old thief and a bastard, but shit, I’ll say it, we all missed the hell out of you Charlie.”

Newt smirked, “It’s Newt –”

“I am not going to say that gay ass fuckin’ name Charlie,” Frank pointed at him, “It’s the name your mom gave you and I don’t care what you call yourself, you’re still Charlie to me. I’ve seen your dick plenty of times, I’ve earned the right.”

“Okay Frank, you started off really sweet but now I’m just uncomfortable,” Newt put his head in his hands, “But, I guess, I’m not that surprised really. Like I don’t remember much but I do remember that you guys are total dicks.”

“Dude,” Mac cut him off, “You’re just as big of a dick as we are.”

“Well Mac,” Dee said, “Charlie… Newton used to be so damn stupid he didn’t even understand what he was doing have the time. He has a little bit more moral ground than any of us.”

“Well that’s true,” Dennis rested his hands on his knees, “Well, except when it came to the Waitress. Then you were downright sinister.”

“Well, you were dark in general, like, remember your bad room where you would break bottles and stuff?” Mac told him, “Or all those times you would come home from the hospital and break shit.”

“What?” Newt asked, bewildered.

“Your bad room –”

“No, the other thing, what you just said.”

The rest of the gang would turn look at Mac, and he looked around confusedly at all of them, “You guys don’t remember?”

They all shook their heads, and he continued, “Well it was right around the time Charlie took off. He was going to the hospital every other day for like months and he would come back late at night like super pissed off and started to break chairs and stuff?”

At this Dee went, “Oooooh,” and she bit on her lip.

“What?” Dennis asked, “You know about this?”

“Yeah, see, one time I went into the bar at night to steal some beers for a party I was going too, and I caught Charlie under the bar with broken glass crying his eyes out.”

There was a shocked silence that went around the room, before Dennis half whined, “And you failed to mention this to anyone?”

“I thought he was sad because the Waitress rejected him again. It’s not like it was an irregular occurrence!”

“And what were you doing at the bar so late anyway Mac?” Dennis asked.

“Well, it was the month I lost a bet to you about who could pick up the most girls in a day and I had to close up at night.”

“Oh right,” Dennis nodded.

“After the first time I saw Charlie, I just kept checking to make sure nothing was wrong,” Mac said.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” Frank asked.

“Cause Charlie told me not to tell anyone,” Mac said, and the gang all turned to look at Newt.

He was silent throughout the whole conversation, hands at his knees and a faraway look in his eyes.

“Newt?” Sweet Dee said, reaching across to touch his hand on his knee.

“I don’t remember….any of this,” he finally said, “Any of it.”

As soon as he said this, the phone rang, and they all stared at it, so Frank leaned over to grab it and picked it up, “Hello?” and he was silent while the person on the other line talked, before he finally said, “Thanks,” and hung up.

He looked at Newton, “That Tendo guy called the lobby. Your Doctor wants to see you.”

\---

“It’s the strangest thing,” Dr. Mowler said, “I just received clearance for your file this morning,” he typed on his computer and turned the screen around for Newton to see. Right there, on the screen, was a photo of him, as well as the rest of his information. His date of birth, his mother’s name, his history of shots. There was even a note from when he broke his leg.

“And?”

“I think it was just a clerical error,” he said, “But I was looking through your file, and according to your information, you did have surgery on your brain several years ago.”

“What? What for?”

“It says that they were removing a benign tumor. But don’t worry. We’ve taken much more recent scans of your brain from the last time you came in to see me, and we looked for signs of cancer. We’ve absolutely found no traces of cancer or the tumor. So in my opinion the operation was obviously a success.”

“And the memory loss? Does my file say anything about that?”

Dr. Mowler frowned, looking into his computer again, “Nooo, it doesn’t say anything about that. But at the very least we know where the scars on your brain are from. I think it’s safe to say that you have nothing to worry about Dr. Geiszler.”

“Okay,” Newt nodded, “Okay. Thank you,” and he stood up to walk out the door. He stopped briefly and turned back to look at Mowler, “Does it say how long ago I got the surgery?”

“Ah, let’s see,” he turned to look at his computer screen, “It was on January 19th, 2013.”

“Oh,” Newton said, “Thank you again.”

\---

As soon as he stepped out of the Medical Center, his phone began to ring. The number was listed as private but he picked it up anyway.

“Hello?” he asked.

“Hey Osito,” said the voice on the other line.

“Adrian?”

“Uh huh. How are you doing?”

“Um, I’m fine,” he shrugged, “Hey listen, you don’t have to look for my file anymore, it’s been -” 

“Let me guess,” she sighed playfully, “Your doctor just called and told you that your file has just been passed for clearance.”

“Yes? How did you –”

“It was me,” she sang, “Alllll me. I bypassed the clearance on your file and sent it to your Doctor. Your welcome.”

“Oh,” Newt said, rubbing the back of his head, “Um, thanks,”

“Mmmhmm,” she replied, “And he told you that stuff about your surgery for your tumor?”

“Yes,” he said, hesitant with where she was going with this.

“Well, I thought it seemed a little too convenient, considering where I found your file.”

“Why? What does that have to do with it?”

“Because I didn’t find you file on a medical server or any other type of government mainframe. Nope, your file was tucked neatly away at the back ass mess of an experimental facility.”

“I –what? Are you joking?”

“Nope,” she countered, “I’ve actually been trying to dig up why they even had your medical records in the first place, or anything else they may have on you, I’m actually pretty close to cracking their security features. That’s why I called.”

“Hey Adrian, are you sure you should be messing with stuff like that? I’m sure it’s just a mistake.”

“No mistake, they were hiding you like a corpse in the trunk of car. And besides, their fire wall is shit, I’m basicall –”

There was silence on her end so Newt called her name several times before she started to wail, “No no nonoNO!”

“Adrian? What’s going on? What’s happening?”

“STOP STOP STOP!” she half screamed, “Oh shit! Meirda! NO LO HAGAS POR QUE ESTAS PASANDO ESTO ESTUPIDA MAQUINA!!”

And then she hung up.

\---

Adrian was already having a shit day to begin with. She had not slept at all since Newt came to visit her in the squalor she called a living space. She didn’t mind it much, she didn’t really like having too many things, but it was kind of embarrassing to have people over sitting in her space. Hannibal did offer to find her a better place, especially with the kind of money he was paying her, but she turned him down. All she needed was space for her computers, space for her to eat, space for her to sleep, and a space for her to piss and clean. She didn’t need much and she liked her apartment. Besides, having her life uprooted from the states all the way to Hong Kong where no one knew how to cook a decent bowl of Pozole or Chorizo, and she hadn’t even seen a bakery, much less any place where she could buy a couple of loaves of pandulce, was already enough to put her on ends with Chau. She operated fine in the states, but oh no, the big baby insisted that she be close by. The big cabron was getting more paranoid with age.

So when she found Newt’s file in such a bizarre place, she decided to dig deeper. It took several hours and her arm was cramping up, not to mention her period should be making it’s big appearance any day soon, so she was irritable and cranky enough already. She called him up when she began to wind down, and honestly, she was already so close to breaking even that she could practically taste the file.

So course, with her luck, midway between her call with the kid, her computer decided to have a shit attack. Luckily, she had several of her recorders in place and she had back-ups of her back-ups, but that’s not what was worrying her.

The mainframe she was poking around was poking back at her, and she knew it was only a matter of time before they figured out she was there, and even sooner for them to figure out where she was. Which is what she’s supposed to be an expert at AVOIDING, but everyone had their bad days.

Even so, watching her computer screen turn red and flashing was not something she was accustomed to. She didn’t get viruses. Viruses got her.

So at the point, if someone had created software smart enough to fuck her, there really wasn’t all that much she could do except swear and cry.

And pack.

She really needed to pack. Like, right the fuck now.

Putting on pants was also a priority. 

\---

“Tendo!” Newt was walking towards his room and shouting, worried already about Adrian, who was so not returning his calls after he stood frozen and dialing back for about half an hour. Then he started to make his way to the main rooms, on the other side of the dome. 

“What is it brother?” a voice said behind him.

Newt whipped around to see that Tendo was carrying a jug of coffee and a tired expression on his face.

“So yeah, you know that girl I went to see yesterday with Hermann?”

“Yeah? What about it?”

“Well she just called me, and we were talking, but then she started screaming and yelling in Spanish and her call got cut off. And I’ve been trying to call her back –”

 

“You think something’s wrong?”

“Dude, she was screaming No and she said some stuff about no lo hagas or some shit, I don’t know. But can we get a car to drive to her place and check her out? Like, I don’t want to find out she got murdered looking at stuff she wasn’t supposed to and Hannibal gets pissed cause I got his hacker killed.”

“Her computer probably had a meltdown actually,” Tendo said, “But yeah, better be safe than sorry. Let’s go man. We’ll check up on her.”

So they were making down to the lower garages, which were on the other side of the Shatterdome, so they half jogged the way over there but by the time they got to the main hanger in the middle of the dome, they ran into Herc who had a disheveled and flushed girl trailing behind him, who Newt immediately recognized as Adrian.

“Hey!” Newt yelled at her, “I was just on my way to see you,”

“Oh,” she said, out of breath, “Good thing I got here first then. You do NOT want to go back to my place. It’s been compromised, big time.”

“I take it you do know her,” Herc said, “She stormed in through the front demanding to see you. You know, I’m really tired of having your friends breaking their way in just for a visit.”

“Thanks, and er, sorry Herc. Swear it won’t happen again,” and he looked at Adrian, “What happened? Why were you screaming? I nearly had a heart attack.”

“That makes two of us,” she was carrying a large duffle bag bursting at the seams, and she reached into the side pocket to pull out a flash drive, “But I got what you need right here Osito. I cracked my way into the mainframe and was able to download a shit ton of stuff about you before my computer practically fried.”

She placed the drive in his hand, sighing heavily, “After that, I packed up most of my shit and got the hell out of there. I had to destroy my computers and disconnect all of my backups. Had to go the local library and sort through all this shit. Called Hannibal and told him about this shit storm. Then I sprinted all the way here. He’s pissed. I’M PISSED.”

“Sorry,” Newt hung his head in shame, twirling the flash drive in his hand.

“Oh, not you Oso, I’m pissed at the douchebag who designed their system. Whoever created the security system is an UTTER asshole. And, well, there’s something else,” she place her hand on his, the one that was holding the flash drive, “You’re not going to like what’s on here. I went through some of it in the library. It’s –”

She sucked in her breath, and Newt swore he caught tears in her eyes, “It is the single most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

\---

The Gang came in, and Hermann was there too, along with Adrian at the desk and Tendo was off standing to the side, with Newt sitting next to Adrian. She had told him that it would be best that only people he was comfortable around should be the only people allowed to see this. And he should have friends around for what he was about to witness. Hermann was standing behind Newt, hand on his shoulder, jaw clenched tight, and they all had cleared out the lab. Hermann showed Adrian where the all the outputs to his computer were, and she typed away while she arranged everything ready to be seen on the large screen. Finally, her hands hovered over the board, and she turned to look at Newt.

“Are you sure?” she asked.

Newt felt Hermann’s grip tighten on his shoulder and he nodded.

Adrian nodded back at him and clicked the keyboard. 

\---

Test Subject # 0347

Name: Charlie Kelly

Authorization has been given by the Test Subject as a willing participant. Authorization signed and dated September 16, 2012. 

Notes:

0347 is under the impression that his undergoing a social survey on intelligence among his male peers living in the outer region of Philadelphia. 0347 has been told that in undergoing this process, he will become much more intelligent and aware of his surroundings. The psychologist assigned to 0347 has noted that the test subject is eager to continue with this process as he has deep seated issues with his perceived unintelligence and his desire to become ‘more normal’ than he presently is. 0347 is highly suggestible and will continue to be a consideration for the experiment. 0347 has been told to come back to the facility in order to test his eligibility in this study. If he does not remember or is unwilling to come to the facility, he has been informed that a member of the staff will go to collect him, through any means necessary. 0347 seems agreeable with these terms and has signed the appropriate paperwork that will ensure his cooperation.

-

Legal Contract has been omitted, signature of 0347 will remain in case of legal address. 

I, Charlie Kelly, agree to be a participant in any experimentations and sessions that I will be subjected to in order to continue to be considered for this study. I, Charlie Kelly, agree to be monitored at all times during the duration of this study. Additionally, I agree to be forcibly detained at any time during the duration of the study. I, Charlie Kelly, will not press charges for any harm that happens to befall me during the duration of the study. I, Charlie Kelly, agree to any additional surgery or modification of my person in accordance to the study. I acknowledge and understand the terms of the agreement listed above.

Signature: Charlie Kelly. Date 09.20.2012

-

Notes from the Psychologist assigned to 0347

My patient, 0347, so far, has been expressing concerns for how long it would take for my colleagues to ‘make him smarter.’ 0347 gets angrier every day, often displaying acts of violent aggression. He does not respond to me. Suggest a change of psychiatrists. Preferable a female, as he responds to women much more favorably than men. I often ask him questions of his childhood, which he claims to have only blurry memories of. When I mention relatives, 0347 reacts violently, and sometimes refers to his Uncle Jack, and recounts ‘sad’ memories of sharing a room with him. Highly suspect subject was molested by his uncle. Perhaps when he switches to another psychologist, he will open up easier. He also talks about his friends, and his job. I am beginning to understand his need to be more intelligent. He expresses an interest in no longer being fooled out of his money and tricked into doing things he wishes not to participate in. He highly believes if he does become intelligent these instances will cease to exist and he will stop ‘being so confused all the time when people talk about stuff.’ I believe 0347 will react favorable to a female psychologist.

-

Study Notes. 09.29.12

0347 is officially a candidate for this study. Switch in psychiatrists has commenced.

-

Dr. Kinnian PhD notes

Subject 0347 becomes increasingly optimistic every session thus far. I’ve been told by the lab that he has been given pills in order to prepare him in his journey of becoming intelligent. Subject 0347 behaves as if he does not know what the experiment will entail, but I’ve been assured that 0347 is well aware of the ramifications of this study and he is often very forgetful. This appears to be true, as he cannot seem to remember my name correctly, and sometimes refers to me as ‘Lady Doctor’ or ‘Doc Kit Kat.’ He has the emotional maturity but seems to be well aware of the consequences of his actions. He often talks to me about why women are so confusing, and I’ve discovered this is in reference to a woman he has been in love with nearly his entire life. He once discussed with me an instance where he tricked another woman into thinking he was in love with her in order to make his love interest jealous, and thus breaking the other woman’s heart once his love interest acknowledged his presence in her life. I’m going to refer 0347 to be omitted from this study, as he is too volatile and obsessive. 0347 has deep seated issues that stems from more than his unintelligence and upbringing. I highly recommend 0347 see a child psychologist, despite his age, in order to work out these issues. His nature will most likely have unseen consequences in the experiment and the operation.

-

10.08.12

0347 has been switched to a different psychologist, as Dr. Kinnian proved to be a poor fit for this experiment and lacks the understanding of the intent of her job. 

0347 did not react to the inkblot tests well. His candidacy for the study will not be changed.

0347 has been selected for the experimentation.  
-

Video documentation of experiment 0347

Session #14

[Start]

Charlie Kelly is sitting opposite the camera, hands at his knees and staring at another man off camera.

‘And how are you doing today Charlie?’

‘Good, I guess,’

‘Have you been taking your pills?’

‘Yes’

‘And have you been experiencing any unpleasant sensations?’

‘Sometimes, I get, like headaches and stuff. And sometimes I feel scared.’

‘Scared how Charlie?’

‘Like, my heart is beating out of my chest. And like that feeling you’re going to get when you run really far and then you’re going to throw up’

‘Interesting’

‘Can I please stop taking them?’

‘Hmmm? No Charlie, you have to keep taking your pills. How are you going to get smarter if you don’t take them?’

‘But I don’t like them. It’s really hard to remember stuff sometimes.’

‘No Charlie. You were always that way. You couldn’t even remember your second psychiatrists’ name’

‘Doc Kit Kat’

‘Now, you know that isn’t her name Charlie.’

‘I know it isn’t her name, but her name is like really hard to pronounce dude’

‘What have I said about referring to your peers as ‘dudes’ Charlie?’

‘That is was unintelligent?’

‘And unintelligent people are what Charlie?’

‘They’re garbage.’

‘That’s right.’

-  
Session #27

[Start]

‘And how are you today Charlie?’

‘Okay’

‘Last week we had to send someone to come get you at your apartment Charlie. And you fought back. Why did you do that?’

‘Cause I didn’t want to come’

‘And why didn’t you want to come?’

‘Cause I don’t like being here. Every time I come here I feel bad?’

‘Why do you think that is Charlie?’

‘I don’t know’

‘Charlie, you know that isn’t an acceptable answer. I’ve asked you not to answer me with I don’t know’

‘I really don’t.’

‘Really? Do you want to remain stupid all your life? Living like trash? Dying alone because no one wants to be around an imbecile.’

‘Please stop’

‘Charlie, we’re here to help you, and if you let us help you, you can have everything you want. Even the woman you covet will become yours. Don’t you want that? Or do you want to die like a rat?’

‘I don’t want that. I mean, I do want her, but I don’t want to die like a rat.’

‘Because right now you are a rat Charlie. And rats get what Charlie?’

‘Rats get bashed.’

‘And you’re here so you won’t be a rat anymore.’

‘Doc?’

‘Yes Charlie?’

‘I love her more than anything else, but I can’t remember her name anymore.

-

Session # 34

[Start]

‘How are you today Charlie?’

‘Not so good’

‘And why’s that’

‘I had trouble pissing this morning. I got scared of the noises outside, and I couldn’t go.’

‘That’s very unfortunate. Why do you think you got scared?’

‘Cause loud noises scare me. Everything scares me. I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t like how I feel when I go home. Everything hurts, my head hurts. And I can’t stop crying and then I mess myself up and I get dirty because I’m scared and I break stuff and one time I saw that the blonde lady saw me and she looked sad and I didn’t want her to look sad at me and I was crying and I couldn’t stop –’

‘That’s enough Charlie. That’s how you know it’s working. You know more than you used to. You know that everything is trying to hurt you. But once you’re smart for real you’ll be able to fight them off’

‘But I don’t know what I’m scared of’

‘It’s alright Charlie, soon you’ll understand’

‘Why can’t I remember the blonde anymore I know she’s my friend and I know her name but I can’t think her name my mouth says her name when I see her face but right now I can’t remember it’

‘It’s nothing to worry about Charlie, you’re just forgetting unnecessary things to make room for much more intelligent things’

‘But I don’t want to forget the blonde she’s my sister I love her I don’t want to forget her or the other three the three guys they’re my family they’re my brothers I don’t want to forget can’t I just go home’

‘You can go home right now today Charlie, but remember to be back Wednesday, or else we’ll have to send someone to come get you’

-

Session #52

[Start]

‘Today is a special day Charlie’

‘It is?’

‘Yes, today is the day everything you’ve worked hard for is finally going to pay off.’

‘I don’t want to do it anymore. I want to go home. I don’t want to be smart anymore. I’m can’t remember anything anymore. I can’t remember my family, I can’t remember the people I loved, if I loved anyone.’

‘It’s for the greater good Charlie.’

‘No!’

Charlie starts screaming, and he gets up the chair and attempts to run out the door behind him, but his path is blocked by a man waiting for him at the door. The man grabs his arms and drags him back to the center of the room pressing down on him. Charlie is kicking and screaming, tears streaming down his face and wailing hysterically, and then begins to bite at the hand holding him down.

‘DAMNIT! Hold him down, get someone else to hold him down!’ the man behind the camera shouts, and more men come into the frame. Holding Charlie down while he screams his head off, face red and crying.

‘He just pissed himself’ one man says in disgust.

‘I don’t care, just hold him still.’

‘PLEASE!’ Charlie screams, ‘PLEASE! TAKE ME HOME! I WANT TO GO HOME! I’M SCARED! I’M SCARED PLEASE PLEASE I WANT TO GO HO-HOME!’

Charlie is manhandled til he’s face down on the floor, and one man twists his arm so his elbow is pinned to the floor with his inner arm facing up. 

The man off camera is now seen, holding a syringe in his hand, kneels down next to Charlie and slides the needle into his arm.

‘This is for your own good Charlie.’

[End]

\---

The Newton, the Charlie, in present time, is crying, shaking, grasping at Hermann’s hand on his shoulder.  
He cannot think, his entire body is numb, he doesn’t know what he should be feeling. He thinks he’s going to throw up. He’s definitely going to throw up. Newt bolts from his chair and makes a break for his waste basket at the far end of the lab. He curls around it and empties all the stomach contents from his mouth. He heaves great sobbing gasps and continues to cry, hyperventilating into the basket.

Tendo ran after him, and is now kneeling over Newt as he cries and he runs a soothing hand on his back, rubbing it in circles as he coos at Newt that ‘everything is going to be okay.’

The Gang looks equally as sick. Dee went to go sit at a nearby desk, head in her hands, still and unmoving, her knees beginning to quake. Dennis had turned around, one hand at his temple and staring at the ceiling. Mac is frozen, eyes locked on the screen. Frank is just as silent, rubbing his mouth and leaning against the desk Dee is sitting on, looking ready to collapse.

Adrian looks at Hermann, who has not made a move to go help Newt at all, his hands clenched into the seat that Newt was previously sitting on.

He is as white as a sheet, gazing at the screen, eyes wide.

He looks like he had just seen a ghost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just the beginning


	7. Scientific Fact: I'm in Love with my Lab Partner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now, on the lighter side, Newt begins his journey into having an existential crisis, and the Gang demands blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Newt badgers Hermann into getting it on, but he's got a lot more to worry about down the line.

K-Science Lab

3 pm

The video was frozen on the screen, with Charlie’s terrified face and a man kneeling over him inserting the syringe into his forearm. Newton was still dry heaving into the waste basket, gagging even though his stomach was empty. Tendo was rubbing the back of his neck begging him to relax, that he was going to hurt himself.

Finally, Hermann pulled himself away from the screen and joined Tendo in helping Newton relax. He lightly touched his shoulders and leaned in close to his ear.

“Spatzchen,” Hermann said, “I’m here. You’re fine.”

Newt was trying not to sob at Hermann’s soothing voice, tears streaming down his face as he trembled, but eventually allowed himself to be pulled away from the basket and into Hermann’s arms, where he buried his face in the nape of his neck and continued to breathe deeply, trying to steady his heartbeat. Hermann could feel his heart hammering away against his chest, and Newt didn’t bother clutching at Hermann, he just let himself be held. 

No one said or did anything during these moments. Probably in a desperate way to recollect themselves from what they had just witnessed. The Gang did not bother to spare a glance at Newt, and it was finally Mac who broke the silence.

“This is bullshit! BULLSHIT!” he began to spit, “This –this, how can they do that?! How could they fuckin do this! Fuckin bullshit. FUCKING BULLSHIT,” and he slammed his hands down at the nearest table which made both Dee and Frank jump.

“How could they?! How could they?!!” and he said this and made his way toward Newt and Hermann, still locked together, and he hugged them both, Hermann freezing in his embrace and Newt just letting himself being enveloped in Mac’s arms, while he muttered, “We’re going to fucking get them I swear Charlie, I swear we’re gonna fucking get them.”

“Mac, c’mon man, calm down,” Dennis said, finally turning around and clapping his hand on Mac’s back, “Just, give them some space. You gotta relax.”

Mac let go and spun on Dennis, pointing his finger into his chest and half screaming, “No man! No way! No WAY! I’m not gonna relax. I’m so pissed, AUGH I’M SO ANGRY I WANNA FUCKIN SMASH SHIT!”

“Not in MY lab you aren’t,” Hermann growled, arms still circling Newt’s body, one hand on his waist and another at the back of his head to hold him close, and through Newton’s tears he snorted. It was such a Hermann thing to say.

Dee looked up, and it was clear she had been crying but she had wiped away her tears so there were mascara smears all over her cheeks, “They just –took advantage of him,” and she said this and she was quiet, “Like we always do, because he was so stupid and he was like a little kid, and every time every DAMN time we let him do things by himself he would get himself hurt –”

“Don’t fucking blame him for this Dee,” Dennis turned to glare at her, hands on his hips, “He didn’t know what he was doing –”

“EXACTLY,” Dee screeched, “He didn’t know what he was doing! We had to watch him like a GODDAMN FIVE YEAR OLD because HE FUCKING WAS. And we did nothing about it and we just LAUGHED and took his money and took his shit and we turn around and stop watching him for TWO FUCKING SECONDS AND STRANGERS CAME AND FUCKING TORTURED HIM!”

Dee was standing now, grabbing papers and flinging them around the room, smashing her hand against the desk and began to hyperventilate.

“Jesus shit Deandra, calm your ass down!” Frank scolded her.

“I AM FUCKING CALM,” Dee shrieked, “What the fuck were we doing that was so GODDAMN important Frank? What were you doing that was so goddamn important?!? THAT YOU DIDN’T FUCKING NOTICE THAT THEY WERE PRACTICALLY KILLING HIM?”

“Well what about you!” Dennis screamed, “You fucking saw him! You saw him crying and losing his GODDAMN MIND and you didn’t say anything!”

“IT’S BECAUSE I’M A PIECE OF SHIT AND I DIDN’T CARE. WHAT’S YOUR EXCUSE?” Dee beat her hands against Dennis’s chest, “When have you EVER CARED about what happened to Charlie you fucking asshole?! WHEN HAVE YOU EVER CARED? YOU FUCKING NARCASSITIC PSYCHOPATH BASTARD –”

“SHUT UP!” Newton screamed, making Hermann’s ears ring, and Newt pulled away to clutch and Dee’s arms as she tried to take another swing at Dennis.

“Just….. just fucking shut up,” he breathed again, “This wasn’t your fault. It’s not…. It’s not your fucking responsibility to look after me. I’m –I’m not your kid Dee. I’m not any of your guy’s kid.”

“But you were so fucking STUPID, Charlie,” Dee said, not making a conscious effort to say Newt now, “You were just so dumb and it was so EASY to trick you into doing things.”

“Who’s signature is on those documents Dee?” Newt asked, staring her down as Dee shot her gaze toward the floor, and he looked at Dennis and Mac and Frank as well, “Who signed those papers? Did you sign them?”

None of them spoke, and Dee shook her head.

“I signed them,” Newt said, “I signed them.”

Newt let go of her hands, and Dee stepped away and rubbed at her face with her hands. The tension in the room was cut when Adrian finally spoke up.

“There’s more,” she said, “There’s….a lot more. I don’t know if you want to see the rest.”

Newt instantly felt an icy chill run up his spine, and he was reminded of the horror he had just witnessed. A man that looked like him but spoke nothing like him. A man with bare arms and no glasses. With wild hair and an ugly green jacket, voice shaking and knuckles clenched white with how uncomfortable he was. A man with his voice but not his words screaming and crying, scared out his mind that he wet himself like a child. For all he knew, the last documentation of that man alive. 

He wasn’t Charlie Kelly. Charlie Kelly was dead, and he had invaded his space and took control as if he had any right to be there.

“I….can’t. Not right now,” he said, “I kinda want to be alone right now, actually.”

Adrian nodded, turning off the screen and removing the flash drive, “Right,” and she placed the drive on the desk, “This will be here, when you want to look at the rest. I’ll be staying with Chau for the time being, in case you need me again,” and with that she grabbed her bag and went over to hug Newt, mumbling, “I’m sorry you had to see this,” and then stepping back to shake his hand goodbye.

“One question,” he asked, “What does Osito and Oso mean anyway?”

“Baby bear,” she replied without hesitation, “You kinda look like one,” and with that she nodded slightly at Hermann and began to walk out, but not before patting Dee’s shoulder and said, “You’re welcome to visit me anytime you want Bonita,” and with that she departed.

“What the hell is that about?” Dennis asked.

“I think she wants to sleep with me, I don’t know, it’s not important,” Dee waved him off, “We just gotta, we just gotta figure out what to do.”

“I need to be quiet right now,” Newt said, “Or I just, need to be in a quiet space. Do what you want, but I’m going to go to my room and rethink everything and sleep and probably cry.

“Whatever you say man,” Dennis said and Tendo, although he was still sore from the fight yesterday, nodded in agreement. 

They all shuffled out of the room and Hermann was walking up to join him, but he stopped Hermann by grabbing his wrist.

“Walk with me please?” Newt said, which to Hermann meant he was saying, “Stay with me,” and so Hermann nodded and they walked out of the lab and into his room, leaving behind the black flash drive on the desk for them to face later.

\---

For several hours, Hermann and Newt sat in relative silence with each other. They were both in Hermann’s room, as Newt couldn’t bear to go to his own and look at his belongings, knowing that somewhere in his mess he still had the box with the green glass shard in it. For years he wondered why just the sight of it would fill him with joy, but now thinking about it filled him with dread. It wasn’t his happy moment, his personal private memory, of having a day with a woman he adored when she was too drugged out to notice. 

Hermann was lying on the bed and reading, while Newt lay down next to him, not particularly interested in doing anything except running one hand on Hermann’s arm and stroking his elbow gently.

“Hermann,” Newt finally spoke up and burrowed into his arm, wrapping one leg gently around one of Hermann’s legs and pressing himself closer.

“Yes?” Hermann asked, looking up from his book.

“Nothing, I just wanted to say your name,” Newt said, and then he leaned in closer to kiss him.

“Newton, now’s not the best ti –”

“Shhh,” he whispered and continued to kiss Hermann, pressing intently against him. With one hand, Newt grabbed Hermann’s book and tossed it to the side, and he took Hermann’s bottom lip between his mouth and sucked.

Hermann decided to go with it, and he grasped Newt’s shoulders to pull him closer, and he pressed his tongue into Newt’s to lick the roof of his mouth. Newt followed suit and deepened the kiss, moaning against Hermann’s mouth and bringing his hands up to caress his face. Hermann slid his body next to him, minding his leg, and continued to kiss Newt until he was breathless. Newt sighed in the back of his throat and kissed back with just as my vigor, his mouth melding itself to Hermann’s like he wanted to become a permanent fixture of Hermann’s stature. Hermann couldn’t think of a reason to push him away, so he continued to ravage him until he begged for Hermann to stop.

After several minutes of them pawing at each other and kissing each other senseless, Hermann pulled away in order to bite at Newt’s chin and to scrape his teeth down his neck. He paused to gaze at Newt flushed and whining underneath him, kissed bruised and pink from abuse, wet with Hermann’s spit, and Newt looked up at him and understood. He tilted his head back like an animal presenting his submission, which Hermann gladly took. He kissed and worried his teeth into Newton’s neck, his tongue tracing the outline of his terrible tattoos, stopping every now and then to suck against the pale neck that was not covered in ink in order to create some marks of his own.

“Possessive, are you?” Newton said offhandedly, and Hermann could feel him grinning while his mouth was pressed openmouthed on his jaw.

“Indeed,” Hermann mouthed into his skin, “I’ve asked you to be mine and I have no intention of letting you go now.”

Newton gasped out loud, hands seeking Hermann’s face in order to bring him back up again in order to kiss the grin off of his stupid, smiling face.

“Like I was going to let you leave,” Newton said into his Hermann’s mouth before furiously kissing him once more.

They continued this way, pushing and pulling into each other’s mouths, grappling and giving and taking as they continued to wind themselves up.

Hermann shifted and his hip met with the unmistakable hardness of Newt’s erection, and in turn Newt whined high in his mouth and shuddered.

“Perhaps we should stop?” Hermann asked, and Newt mumbled furiously, “No keep going.”

“Newt I really don’t think now is an appropriate time.”

“When would it be appropriate for you?” Newton asked, “Will you pencil me in this weekend? Or how about after I’ve discovered what other sick twisted shit has been done to me?”

Hermann sat up, wincing on the strain of his leg, and he looked somber as he caressed the side of Newt’s face, “I think right now you’re emotionally unstable and you want someone to take care of you.”

“That’s what relationships are dude,” Newt argued, “Sometimes the other person feels like shit so we comfort them. So comfort me Hermann,” Newt’s voice went demure and soft as he said this, “I don’t want to think right now.”

“We’ve only just….established an attraction to each other yesterday,” Hermann said, “It would be unethical to engage in sexual activities with you when we otherwise wouldn’t have if you hadn’t just experienced distressing and emotional turmoil.”

“Why do you have to be such a goddamn robot Herms?” Newt asked, hand sliding up his arm, “How do you know I wasn’t going to ask you to ‘engage in sexual activities’ today with you anyway? I’ve been wanting to for like…. A really long time.”

“Newton please,” Hermann asked, “Please, just listen to me. I don’t feel comfortable. It would feel too much like –taking advantage.”

“I want you to take advantage of me,” Newton said, exposing his neck and wiggling it what he hopes is attractive, “You’re the only person I want taking advantage of me Herms. I want you to hold me down and –” he blushed when he said this, “Fuck all this sadness out of me.”

Newt’s voice went high and soft as he continued, “I don’t want to remember what I saw today. Please I just you to make me feel good, please?”

Hermann sighed, leaning over Newt’s body and kissing him once, twice on the lips before moving his hand to press against the heel of Newt’s erection over the cloth. Newt whined in his mouth and Hermann shushed him.

“It would appear that I cannot deny you anything dear,” Hermann said, and he pressed hard until his hand ground into Newt’s hardness and he continued to choke out Hermann’s name and letting out soft sighs, “However,” Hermann continued, “If you’re going to whine like a disobedient child, you’re going to come like one.”

Newt laughed, but it was cut off by Hermann pressing another kiss onto his mouth, and soon Newt was squirming and clutching at Hermann, bucking his hips.

“Wait –wait,” Newt stammered, “Hold on I’m gonna, Herms if you don’t slow down oh shit –”

Newt chased Herman’s hand, once, twice, before he let out a desperate moan as if he was dying and he vibrated underneath Hermann’s ministrations. Hermann felt heat spreading underneath his hand and Newt continued to buck his hips weakly until he was exhausted, collapsing on the bed with Hermann quickly lying down next to him.

A pause, and then, “I can’t believe you just made me shoot my load in my pants,” Newt laughed, “It was like being a teenager again. God.” And then Newt was squirming for an entirely different reason, “Oh god I need to get out of these pants, they’re starting to stick to me. Can I borrow some off of you? Herms?”

Hermann didn’t seem to be with him, as he was staring up into space, looking past the ceiling, past the building, somewhere else. His mouth was pulled into a tight line and his brows were furrowed, like he was angry or….

Guilty?

“Herms? What’s wrong? Are you mad that I haven’t returned the favor? I’m still up for it. Herms?”

“Hmm?” Hermann said distantly, “Oh no, I’m fine Newton. I was just thinking.”

“About today?”

“….amongst other things.”

“We’ll figure it out,” Newt told him, “We have to.”

\---

Newt was silently freaking out throughout his engagements with Hermann. Half of him wanted to stop, the other half didn’t want to chicken out. But he needed to feel real. He needed to remind himself that he….well shit…. He loved Hermann. Like, wanted to cook him breakfast and massage his leg when it got too painful, and he wanted to write papers with him and have excited, obnoxious sex with him while they traveled to various places. He wanted a house with Hermann, wanted to know everything there was to know about Hermann, besides bits and pieces of their drift together. He wanted to do romantic shit for him and make Hermann laugh. So as long as he reminded himself that he loved Hermann, that he was capable of this intense emotion that knew within himself could not be questioned and therefore he was a real person. 

It sounded strange, but to him, it made sense. As long as he knew what he felt for Hermann, he could validate his existence.

Who knows, perhaps he was Charlie Kelly after all. A Charlie who grew up the way he remembered growing up, a Charlie that wasn’t taken advantage of with the way his life was dealt. Instead of being abandoned by his father, what if he had a dad who doted on him and helped him with his struggles.

What if, under different circumstances, Charlie Kelly could have grown up to be Newt Geiszler?

In any case, he wouldn’t know until he looked at the rest of what was in that black flash drive.

\---

The Gang was all piled into the truck again, driving back towards Hannibal’s place to return it. They were silent the whole time, and for this instance, Dee was permitted to sit on Mac’s lap on the way there. 

Dennis cleared his throat, “Does anyone else feel personally offended at what we saw today?”

The Gang silently looked at Dennis, who was staring straight ahead at the road in front of him, “These people, these so-called scientists, just kidnapped OUR friend, OUR Charlie, and used him for their own personal gain? They practically stole him from us.”

“Yeah, that’s right,” Dee nodded, “They stole him right from under us. Those bastards tricked him for their own sick pleasure and took something that did not belong to them.”

 

“Hey, as far as I know, you’re not supposed to take shit that isn’t yours. It’s like, against the law.”

“Fuck yeah it is!” Frank agreed, “You don’t just, waltz into someone’s life, ‘hey I like your friend, I’ll just steal them!’”

“It’s criminal is what it is,” Dennis said, “And you know what, I am outraged! Not just because of the unspeakable horrors that were inflicted on Charlie, but also because he was taken without our knowledge, without OUR consent!”

“Charlie’s practically retarded! He did not have the mental capabilities to sign something like that! We’re his family. We should have been consulted. Frank’s practically his dad!”

“Yeah!” Frank said, “Charlie is MY fuckin kid, and I don’t like it when some hacks just show up and kidnaps my son like he was a piece of jewelry!”

“You know what we should do?” Dennis said, “We should find the asshole responsible for this and make him answer to us! I want him to grovel on his knees for forgiveness. Beg for mercy even!”

“Oh yeah,” Dee agreed, “I want tears! I want retribution for this bullshit!”

“Hell yeah!” Mac said, “They practically, like, stole our property. Charlie is ours. They had no right to take him.”

“You’re right Mac, and you know why? Because like Dee said, kid is like a five year old. Can’t take care of himself. His mom can’t take care of him. The responsibilities of caretaker falls to us, we’ve known him almost his whole life. We’ve bathed and fed him more times than I want to think about. He is ours.”

“And for that, they must suffer,” Frank clenched his hands into the wheel.

“Oh yes,” Dee nodded, eyes squinting in mischief, “Guys, let’s take one of their dudes.”

The Gang nodded in agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter, The Gang goes to Hannibal Chau for help, and Newt discovers what's in the rest of the flash drive.


	8. I think I Died on my Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newt learns more about himself then he wishes, and Adrian and Sweet Dee are reunited.

K-Science Lab

6 am

Newt stares at the black flash drive that is on the desk, next to the computer. He had watched Adrian set it up the day before, so he knows how to use it. He hasn’t seen a flash drive since 2017, or at least, he thinks he did. He can’t be too sure about anything anymore. The only thing he is sure about were his letters to Hermann, this flash drive, and the Gang. Through their greed and insensitivity, they made all of this possible. If not for them, he’d probably would have gone the rest of his life not knowing.

The fact of the matter is, does he want to know more? Does he want to know what else was on that drive? Does he want to know how exactly he became this way? If he had to guess, those people had probably given him pills in order for him to become more vulnerable to them, and to make him forget about himself, about who he was, in order to prepare for the arrival of him, of Newton Geiszler. If he also had to guess, he would also assume that the surgery had something to do with it, that the reason he had scars was not because of cancer, but because of what they did to him. And like snakes in the grass they covered it up, like Adrian said, he was wrapped up nice and neat like a body thrown in the back of a trunk, then let out to be buried.

How many others were there like him? How many more had fallen under their knife in order to what? Create more intelligent people? That was likely the end game, the goal they were looking for, but he was too much of an idiot to be allowed with that kind of knowledge, they had to terrorize him and push him down into the dirt before they let him back up again.

If anything, he had to see who was responsible for this madness. He had the name of the psychiatrist who manipulated him and psychologically abused him, enough that even a moron like himself could understand what was happening to him was wrong. Newt had vague memories of himself in the past, and he recollected that no matter how many times he was beaten down, he’d always bounce back ready to deal with more of the punches. And this time, they had him scared and terrified out of his mind. A part of him wishes he had more of that footage, of everything that was said and done, but another part doesn’t want to know. Maybe it was worse than just talking. Maybe that had cranked it up further to full on physical abuse. Hell, maybe worse. He was learning all kinds of new things about himself. Like being molested by his uncle diddly-fingers apparently. He used to make jokes all the time about ‘that one uncle everyone has that diddles them in the closet,’ but now that he thinks about it, it makes him sick. Didn’t his mom have any idea what was happening to him? Anything at all?

In any case, he still had the rest to look at, and maybe he should look at them with Hermann, but he can’t let Hermann watch these things again. Watch him, cry and piss himself like a baby, he can’t. 

So he grabs the flash drive and begins to find out exactly what happened to him.

One piece at a time.

\---

The previous day

“Nice to see you back so soon Frank,” Hannibal greets them as the exit the truck, but at least he has a friendly face at his side. Adrian is there, holding a holographic pad, almost identical to the one that Tendo has, and she smiles lightly at them. She’s wearing the same clothes as she was earlier, but her hair is braided, and Dee kind of likes it. If she was into that sort of thing. Which she wasn’t.

“Yeah, well, I figured might as well get this baby back to you soon anyway, you probably have better uses for it then we do,” Frank told him.

Hannibal laughs, before gesturing to Adrian, “Ah, yes, I know you’ve been acquainted with Adrian earlier, and man, did she have a story to tell me.”

“You’ve already told him?” Mac said, incredulously.

“He is my boss,” Adrian pursed her lips, “And I did have to explain to him how I’m basically homeless for the time being.”

“She nearly gave me a heart attack when she called me up and told me that her computers took a crap,” said Hannibal, “But you know, she’s a smart kid, when she told me she had it under control, I know when to believe her.”

“Of course,” she said smugly, “I prepared for that eventuality anyway. Computers are unreliable, kind of like people,” she frowned, “Speaking of which, how’s Newt?”

“You know, he’s in a bad way,” Frank shook his head, “He locked himself up with his partner Gottlieb, the froggy looking guy,” he said this to Adrian, who would know what he was talking about, and she nodded her head, “Right, the mathematician.”

“Yeah, they’re like best pals forever kind of gig, although, if you ask me, I’m pretty sure they’re the best pals of the sexual persuasion,” Frank laughed, “If you know what I mean.”

“I know what you mean,” Adrian rolled her eyes, and even Mac had to sneak in a, “Really Frank? Subtle.”

“Wait a minute,” Hannibal said, “Gottlieb, like, Lars Gottlieb?” He looked at Adrian when he asked this, and the gang looked at him in confusion.

“No, he said his name was Hermann,” Dee spoke up, and Hannibal glanced at her, “So maybe they’re like…. Brothers or something?” she said uncertainly.

“Father and son more like,” Adrian said, “He’s Lars Gottlieb’s son, why, are we in relations with him?” she asked, although she said relations in a way that suggested ‘Does he owe us money?’

“No, not in the way you’d think,” Hannibal replied, “C’mon. I’ll explain it to you in my office.”

At this Dennis interjected, “Wait one minute,” and then shut his mouth when Hannibal looked at him, and he opened and closed his mouth like a fish, “We –we want retribution, but uh, not from you. For Charlie.”

Hannibal raised an eyebrow and looked at Adrian, who shrugged her shoulders.

“Adrian explained to me in detail about what happened to your friend, some pretty heavy stuff, huh?” he asked, walking into Dennis’s space and staring him down, “And that pissed you off a might, didn’t it?”

Dennis gulped, but his gaze from Hannibal’s gaze never wavered, “Yes.”

“So what are you prepared to do about it?” Hannibal growled, “You think you got what it takes to demand your retribution from those people? They dicked your friend pretty good and we got a world savin’ scientist out of it. So are we talking revenge, or are we talkin profit?”

Dennis grinned, but it was his uncomfortable, sinister grin, the kind of grin he often gave to Mac when explaining his methods on taking advantage of women, and even Dee thought she saw Hannibal waver just a little under that grin, “Why not both?” Dennis asked.

Hannibal smiled, and it was terrifying and good, and he turned around to look at Adrian, “Tell someone to get some extra chairs in my office,” and he looked back at Dennis again, “We’re gonna discuss some business.”

\---

It took a while for Newt to stomach what he was reading, and it was getting increasingly frustrating, as a lot of the paperwork and scientific notes being done about him had a lot of dates and names crossed out. Mostly, but not all. They took out the days for his surgeries, but he knew the first one, the very first surgery. January 19th, his birthdate, although he can already tell that most of these files were lies, and they weren’t even trying to hide their fabrications. For one thing, most of the dates were jumbled between the years, the earliest being 2012, the latest being 2016, so Newt actually couldn’t pinpoint the year this all began, when it was actually starting to happen to him, and he knew the Gang would be no help. Not only could they not remember people they met half the time they were almost certainly wasted at all hours of the day. All of them had drinking problems and he doubts that they haven’t been sober for years. He’s pretty sure that hasn’t changed. Half the time when they talk to him he’s almost sure that they’re absolutely smashed. 

In any case, his files do prove to be illuminating. For instance, after every surgery, they’d send him home, possibly to buy themselves more time, lest his friends freak out and wonder where he is and contact the police, although they shouldn’t have been so worried. One time he was gone for like a month before they realized he wasn’t around. It was a bad month and the Waitress was drinking again.

He vaguely remembers sneaking into her apartment and dumping half of her wine down the drain and filling the rest of them with water. She was an alcoholic too and she had slips sometimes, but he didn’t want her to get something terrible like alcohol poisoning and die.

With each passing day, Charlie was learning more and more terrible things about himself, but first, the files.

Most of them were standard behavioral notes and suggestions. It was weird reading about himself when he didn’t remember the incidents. There was one paper detailing an incident where he freaked out and bit someone’s arm. He hopes the guy was an asshole, and he also hopes he tore something vital.

The notes also talks about his progress and his maniac possessive disorder. There are charts going over how much smarter he was getting, day by day, about the books he was reading and the lessons he was learning. He was getting tutored every day and reading new books, learning many great and horrible things. Instead of videos this time, its recordings, and he debates listening to them, but the curiosity wins out and he presses play.

He could hear himself breathing on the recording, and a man is speaking to him, asking him how his day went, and what he remembers.

The him on the recording is shy, and quiet, telling him about some book or other that he read, and at the end of each recording, the man tells him something about Newt, about who Newt is.

The first recording the man tells him his name and his birthday. The second recording he tells him who his father is. On the third he tells him that his mother left him. And it continues, on and on and on.

He’s told that what his favorite color is, what his favorite type of music is. The voice tells him that he’s afraid of small spaces, that his biggest insecurity is being wrong. The voice maps out every detail that Newt felt was true, that Newt could not believe was fake.

How could they fabricate something so real like his favorite foods, or his favorite memories? The way his Uncle Gunter would teach him how to tinker with different things in his basement, how to create sound and music with electronics, or that his father would play different melodies on the piano and that his favorite one was the song he wrote for his mother, the one he was going to play for her when he saw her again. He heard a recording of the song on the player, they brought a piano in to play it for him, and Newt felt sick again, didn’t want to believe it, didn’t want to remember, but they did. They wheeled in a piano in that day and they played the song for him and was told that this was his life. That he just didn’t remember, but they would help him understand.

How many of these things did they hand select, carefully to construct him, to make him perfect for them, for their machine to be properly programmed to function, or how many things did they just decide on a whim? Was his favorite color really blue? Or was it because a guy they worked with loved the color blue? Which was it? How many people composed his many parts?

Did he even love biology? Did he even love studying Kaiju? Did he even love Hermann? Or was that something else they decided? Did they hold him down and peel back his brain and picked out Hermann out of a line up? This is your lab partner Charlie boy, and for the next ten years of your miserable life you’re going to fight him and glare at him and love him so much that it hurts, so much that you’ll roll over and spread your legs for him, betraying everything that you are, betraying the Waitress, because a dog should learn to roll over when we teach it new tricks?

He was told things like his first kiss and how it felt, and when they described how soft her lips were and how his heart exploded like fireworks, right to the perfect detail, Newt wanted to cry because it’s exactly how he remembered it happening, except it wasn’t, it just was how they told him it was. He never actually experienced it, he never actually lived.

Before he knew what he was doing, Newt shut off the screen and hyperventilated silently in his chair, waiting for the waves of nausea and fear roll over him.

A part of him knew, but didn’t want to believe it. He wasn’t Charlie Kelly, he wasn’t a real person. They made him up like you’d make up a book character, when you’re bored and you think about fake people and the things you’d think they liked and the things they hated and the things they couldn’t stand. 

And how could he face Hermann now, when he knew that he was the fabrication, he was the bad lie. He was a made up fictional character except he just couldn’t appear out of thin air. They wanted someone smart, someone to figure out their problems that they’re too blind to solve themselves, but they needed a space for him to occupy. They needed a nobody and a blank slate for them to insert him into, so they kidnapped a stupid kid away from his home because to them he wasn’t a person, he was an idiot and a rat. Garbage, he was told. He wasn’t even alive to them. What did they know about Charlie Kelly anyway? That he was an angry kid, furious at everyone and himself, confused and not in his right mind, a hindrance to society and an incredibly troubled young man who thought he was too strange to be normal, too weird to deserve anything nice for himself?

As far as Newt was concerned, they were all killers, the men who made him, the men who murdered Charlie Kelly.

\---

“Lars Gottlieb is an associate,” Hannibal explained, once they were all packed into his office, “I’ve never actually met the man but he does business with men I do business with. We know about each other but we aren’t too keen on the idea of speaking to each other.”

“Well, why’s that?” Mac asked.

“When someone refers to you as a bastardized black stain upon society behind your back, it would be best for both parties not to be in the same room together. It might be messy,” Hannibal grinned.

“So what’s the deal with this Lars guy,” Frank asked, “He a crook?”

“Nah, he’s too prim and proper for that sort of thing,” Hannibal says, “Guy likes to play within the lines, so to speak. He creates fewer waves, and it’s a lot easier for him to get away with shit.”

“What kind of work does he do?” Frank said, “What kind of schemer is this guy? What are we dealin with?”

“Well,” Hannibal stroked his chin, “He’s an investor, a banker type, so to speak. You all been wonderin why the Shatterdome looks like a rat’s shit nest? He’s the guy responsible with cutting most of their funding. It’s why it’s only his kid and Geiszler workin in the labs. He’s also the guy responsible for backin the bullshit wall idea.”

“Oh that guy,” Mac said, “Oh man, I hate that guy. Fuck that guy.”

“Wasn’t he the dude who went up in public and denounced the Jaeger Program after they closed the Breach?” Dee asked, “Didn’t he like go up and do a big speech about how if they focused more on the wall then they wouldn’t have detonated the bomb in the water and destroyed a bunch of shit? Yeah, that dude is an asshole. Like his mouth is just one big asshole. And so stupid too, like, didn’t one of the Kaiju have wings? And flew? Right?” Dee was laughing at her own voice at this point, “Am I right? What an idiot.”

“That would be the guy,” Hannibal cut her off, “He’s also the guy that borrowed money from a business partner of mine a decade or so ago. He paid the money back but I always keep an eye on investors like him.”

“What he’d burrow the money for?” Frank was smiling as he said this, “Although, now I’m getting an idea on what it was he was burrowing money for.”

Hannibal gestured to Adrian, who grinned wide, and she gestured to the screen in Hannibal’s office behind her, “Well, after what he all witnessed, I wanted to see who was responsible. I guess I’m just a curious girl,” and she produced the screen of the activity of an experimental drug company.

“You see, companies like this, with little to no backing have to find their investors somewhere, what with all those brilliant minds and potential being wasted, and they were developing drugs that were doing all sorts of things,” she explained, “But as everyone knows, you can’t do anything in life without money and interested parties, so they all banded together to figure out what people want. And what people want is to be right, people want to have the upper hand, people want to be the smartest person in the room,” and she was truly smug at this, “So they go searching for professors, for psychologists, for doctors, and all these wonderful people are grouping together and they’re discussing about how to go about turning an idiot into a genius? Of course, they can’t do this without the money.”

“So where do they get the money?” Dennis says.

“Where do they indeed,” Adrian says, “And they all decide, they can’t do this ethically, there is no moral ground, so they can’t let anyone ever find out about they’re doing. What better way to get the money by bringing in a man who loves dodging the guidelines and running through loopholes to get the money?”

“Exactly!” Frank growls, “So this guy, he gets the money, and then, lo and behold, they got enough to back they’re operation.”

“Hit the nail on the head,” Hannibal nods, “And of course, everyone is getting desperate because now there are Kaiju comin through a portal in the ocean, and we need more people to figure out how to stop them.”

“People like Newt and Gottlieb,” Adrian says, “And Hermann hates his dad. Despises his daddy dearest, so what better way does one Lars Gottlieb have at getting back a son who refuses to work with him then hand crafting his very own?”

“Jesus shit,” Frank says, “He’s it, he’s the one.”

“Exactly,” she nods, and then points at the screen where the activity of the corporation has spiked dramatically during the Kaiju war, but then dropping suddenly near the end, “So what happened here?” she asks, but she mumbles almost a little to herself.

“And,” Hannibal says, golden teeth showing, “What are we going to do about it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Gang has it all figured out in a nice bundle, but things aren't what they seem. Newt is also beginning to question his own existence and what he should do with this new knowledge, while the Gang knows exactly what they're going to do with the knowledge they have.


	9. My favorite food is Chocolate (Nah it's Milksteak dude)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hannibal talks about his true intentions, and Newt bonds with Tendo, Mako, and Raleigh, while the Gang lets the cat out of the bag.

While Newt is silently contemplating whether or not he should finish looking at the rest of the information, Tendo walks in to the lab, Mako and Rayleigh in tow.

“Guys,” Newt says, rubbing at his eyes to get rid of the tears, “What are you doing here?”

“Tendo told us,” Mako spoke up, and then she crouched down to Newt’s height and hugged him, “He didn’t mean too, don’t be mad.”

“We were really worried, after your incident in the hospital, we didn’t know what was going on,” Rayleigh explained, “And we bullied Tendo until he spilled.”

“Sorry brother,” Tendo said, but he had a pink box and a couple of coffees in his hands, “But as a peace offering, I thought you could use these.”

“Holy shit,” Newt said, making a grab at the box, “Don’t tell me.”

“There’s a couple éclairs in there too, cause I know you got a weakness for them,” Tendo smiled.

There was a pang in Newt’s stomach, remembering the tapes.

‘you’re very fond of chocolate’

But the pang disappeared when the hunger won out, and he opened the box and grabbed the first thing his hand touched, proceeding to stuff it in his mouth.

“Slow down man! Don’t choke!” Tendo laughed, and Newt said around his food, “Sorry,” and then he gulped, “C’mon guys, it’s brunch. Grab one.”

“If you think we weren’t you were so wrong,” Rayleigh commented, taking a donut and grabbing a coffee cup.

Mako took a sip of hers and said in shocked surprise, “This isn’t coffee.”

“Nah, it’s hot chocolate,” Tendo answered, “I figured we’ve been high strung too much lately. There’s enough sugar in it to keep us going for a while.”

“I don’t even care,” Newt said, “I could do with something hot and sweet. Speaking of which, have you guys seen Hermann around? I kind of ditched him this morning.”

He instantly regretted speaking up, because the maniac flash in Mako’s eyes were instantly targeted on him.

“What were you doing with Dr. Gottlieb this morning Geiszler-san?” she grinned while asking.

“Mako please,” Newt smiled lightly, “We’ve watched enough Evangelion together that you can call me Newt. Ah, but, to answer your question, me and Hermann, kind of, spent the night?”

“AH YES!” Tendo exclaimed, “ FINALLY! The entire LOCCENT had a pool going on whether or not you guys would end up together!”

“What!?” Newt screeched, “Who started this?”

“The Weis,” Tendo said sadly, “They started it back in ‘19. God miss em.”

“Oh my god,” Newt blushed deeply, “ Since ’19? Are you serious?”

 

“Like a heart attack,” he answered, “Not that it even matters that much anymore, since the Breach –but, they’re probably laughing their asses off somewhere right now.”

They were all silent, heads bowed, smiling lightly at what Tendo had said, and when the moment was over Mako asked again, “So what were you and Dr. Gottlieb doing spending the night?”

“Mako!” Rayleigh laughed, “Pretty sure that’s not really your business!”

“But I want to know!” Mako argued, “Was it romantic? Did you talk about your feelings? Did he comfort you in your time of need?”

“You need to watch more Disney movies stat,” Newt blushed, “There shouldn’t be any reason why you’re this interested in my sex life.”

“YOU’VE HAD SEX?” Mako squealed.

“SHIT WAIT AHHH THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT!” Newt shook his hands like a bird, “I MEANT LIKE MY ROMANCE LIFE HE WAS JUST REALLY SUPPORTIVE AND I WAS REALLY SAD CAN WE STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS?” he asked desperately.

“Yeah, let’s,” Tendo said, “Newt, you’re like family, but I do not want to imagine your white butt together with Hermann’s skinny white butt. Damnit, now I’m imagining it.”

“Stop it,” Newton joked, “I’m the only one here allowed to imagine his butt. Step off.”

“I am you weirdo,” Tendo shoved at him.

“Anyway,” Rayleigh interrupted, “How are you holding up anyway? Anything we can do it help?”

“And by help,” Mako piped in, “Is there anyone you would like to see ‘taken care of’ for their transgressions?”

“What they did to me was really scummy,” Newt said, “But no one is bastard enough that I would wish you on them Ms. Mori,” Newt laughed, “Kaiju themselves tremble in your presence.”

“As they should!” Rayleigh agreed, “If the Kaiju knew you were in Lady, they’d run back to the breach with their tails between their legs!”

“HERE HERE!” Tendo laughed, brandishing his hot chocolate.

\---

The previous day

Adrian ushered the Gang to rest up at their hotel, and to come back in the morning. She also convinced them to see Newt before coming back to Chau’s. After they left, she retreated back to Hannibal’s office to talk about what they were going to do next.

Along with Adrian was Leah, and Wes. Leah, slight and shaven, was probably the scariest person in the room besides Hannibal, at least to a random onlooker. Wes was truly terrifying, but you wouldn’t know it to look at him. It was a true that he was built, but he was smaller than Hannibal, but Adrian had seen firsthand what kind of damage he was capable of. Wes also had the unfortunate tendency to dress like an asshole, with a grey leather jacket that was two sizes too big for him, coupled with his large green eyes, Wes can almost trick you into thinking he was completely harmless.

Adrian made it a point not to trust anyone on Hannibal’s payroll, she had learned her lesson. The first year she had moved to Hong Kong to work for him she had made a snide comment behind his back and one of his henchmen had punched her faster than she had seen coming, and Hannibal only laughed. So, as it stands, Adrian was not friendly with anyone there. It wasn’t any big deal though, considering they weren’t friendly towards anyone else, as they were paid to be.

Leah was the first to ask Hannibal about why there were called into his office, and Wes stared at Adrian while she stood in the corner in the room. Like it was her fault.

Well, it was, partly.

“As I’m sure you’re both aware, profit coming in from our online trade has been discontinued for the time being, thanks to Adrian’s poking around.”

“Not my fault,” Adrian, “Like I said, the guy who designed the system was a major asshole. And besides, our assets are secure and frozen. Information on participants and locations of tradeoffs haven’t been leaked and there’s no chance that they will be. The only damage we’re looking at is that my computers and the server is temporarily down.”

“Anyway,” Hannibal cut her off mid rant, “We’ve recently stumbled upon an opportunity to make up for the loss of revenue.”

“And what’s that?” Wes asked, “Now that the Kaiju are history, we’ve had to adjust our prices to the market to our merchandise, with a cease of our previous shipments.”

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with the gweilos that were here earlier?” Leah asked, arms crossed.

“It has everything to do with them,” Hannibal grinned, “As it turns out, it’s a fuckin small world after all. Remember that scrawny scientist that was runnin around here the day the breach closed?”

“Yeah, the one who save the world,” Wes grinned, “I’m still surprised you didn’t kill him for getting mouthy on you.”

“Lucky for us all he didn’t,” Leah said, “What’s he got to do with it?”

“He was the part of an experimental study to turn imbeciles to vastly intelligent human beings,” Adrian answered, “And not a lot of the shit done to him was very humane.”

“What kind of humane are we talking?” Wes asked, “Are we talkin like normal being kind of humane or our kind of humane?”

“I’ve seen you work over a guy so hard he was telling us secrets about the weird shit he wacked off too when he was thirteen,” Adrian replied, “But nothin to this kind of shit. Psychological warfare in extremes. They basically picked up a kid off the street, tell him that they’ll solve all his problems as long as he signs a couple of papers and take a couple pills, then they systematically torture him by convincing him he’s garbage while the pills he’s taking makes him forget about everything he knows in his life, including his family, women he loved, until he couldn’t remember his own name,” Adrian was practically hissing, “Then they hold the kid down until he’s screaming and pissing himself, and whisk him off to surgery and ten years later he’s a genius who has no idea who he is, with a shit ton of mental problems and issues that can’t be explained.”

“Well shit,” Wes raised his eyebrows, “Sounds rather, medieval.”

“I’m assuming you’re referring to Dr. Geiszler,” Leah responded, “The scientist who was here.”

“Well, what does that mean for us?”

“It means that the bastards who did this spent a lot of time and money to cover this up, so much so that their virus fucked me and Adrian over. And when bastards try that hard to cover up their own shit that badly, it means they really don’t want anyone finding out about they’re dirty business,” Hannibal snidely said.

 

“You’re talking about blackmailing,” Leah said.

“In the simplest sense of the word, yes,” Hannibal nodded, “Accept that his friends just don’t want to stop there. They want the whole nine yards. The want blood, sweat, tears, the whole enchilada.”

“So what do you expect us to do?” Wes asked.

“What I want is for you to team up with Geiszler’s merry band of anger induced fuck ups,” Hannibal grinned, “And I want you to find every big boss responsible for this nightmare. I’m talking head scientists, doctors, investors, the psychiatrists that jumped ship on the project, and we’re going to employ our own psychological warfare of our own. I want Wes to work them over until they beg for death, and then we’re going to make a deal with every sick bastard that was responsible for the project, and we’re going to squeeze every dime out of them in assurance that we’ll keep quiet.”

“Then?” Leah asked.

“Then we’re going to get them to talk,” Adrian supplied, “Get them to tell us every stinking detail of what went on, of everyone they ever experimented on, and what happened to them as a result. After that, we formulate our data, construct an accurate depiction of their misdoings, and we go public.”

“Really?” Leah said, “You really want to go public with this? “

“Not us,” Hannibal said, “Those idiots from the states will. And they can deal with all the dirty legal messes and red tape, but either way we put some dirty people in jail, knock out some competition, and make a fat bundle off a bunch of scared pissy scientists.”

“There is not a single thing I don’t like from this plan,” Wes commented aloud, “Criminals, money, blood. Things were getting boring around here without the Kaiju bursting in every five minutes to fuck us.”

“Who’s the first target?” Leah asked.

“Lars Gottlieb,” Hannibal answered, “One of the investors for this pet project. And this one is special. Make sure you work him over well and good. He’s the asshole that just had to keep making it harder for us all in the Kaiju war, and he was probably personally invested in this project. Him and his own genius kid had a falling out a long time ago, and they publically hate each other, so he probably hand-picked our Geiszler in order to make a pet son out of him.”

“Don’t worry,” Wes smiled, “We’ll have him crying out for his mom when I’m done. And then we’ll start all over again.

\---

Present time

Newt was walking around the LOCCENT looking for Hermann, after he had spent at least three hours in their presence and they all had to report back to duty. Hermann, who should have been in the lab by then, was nowhere to be found, so Newt went out of his way to search for him.

Newt finally found him in his room, where he had left him, accept Hermann was dressed and on his computer, with papers scattered all over his desk as Hermann was reading something on his screen furiously.

“I’ve been looking for you,” Newt said, surprising Hermann, “Why haven’t you reported in yet? It’s not like you.”

“I was merely checking up on something,” Hermann answered, “Something I’ve missed. It’s not important. Did you look through Adrian’s files?” his mouth twisted when he said this, probably because he had to refer to Adrian by her first name as she never supplied a last name.

“Most, but not all of them,” Newt sighed, “It’s hard looking at them. I found recordings.”

“Recordings?” Hermann frowned, “Of what?”

“Me, and a psychiatrist I think. After the surgery, when I wasn’t Charlie anymore,” Newt stared at his hands, “They supplied information about me you know, not about me me, but Newt me.”

“What do you mean, Newt you?”

“I mean they would tell me stuff about myself like I was a fictional character,” Newt huffed, “Stuff like my birthday, and my parents, and my favorite foods and music, and the first time I kissed a girl and the first time I had sex. No I’m serious, they talked about my supposed sex life, in great deal. Everything I know is fake. You know, when we were finally done, and finished, I was going to go back to Berlin to see my dad and uncle again, but they don’t even exist! All those emails I send them over the years? Dummy emails! And bots that are programmed to write back! Everything I know about myself isn’t real.”

“Newton –”

“You don’t feel…..anything for me. You’re intimate with a person that isn’t real.”

“Now you listen to me Newton Geiszler,” Hermann half growled, and damn if that didn’t turn Newt on if he wasn’t on the verge of having a psychotic break, “Things like that, your favorite food and color, those things are irrelevant in the overall equation of what I feel for you. And if there is one thing I will always admire you and respect you for, it is your intelligence. They might have supplied you with falsehoods but there is no way they can create something as complicated and infuriating as you. They did not create your expression when you achieve something, or the way your brows furrow when you’re concentrating. They cannot make up the way you look at me,” And Hermann stumbled over his own words at this point, “And besides, I didn’t even know such trivial things such as your favorite color or food, and I like you just fine already.”

“Hermann!” Newt cried, “I’m trying to feel bad and you’re making it really hard when you’re being so damn sweet!”

“And you’re being infuriating,” Hermann grunted, “Which reminds me, when are your revolting friends returning here? If nothing but just to morally support you?”

“I don’t know,” Newt shrugged his shoulders, “If anything they’re probably holed up in a bar somewhere drinking their feelings.”

“Lovely,” Hermann rolled his eyes, “Well, we should probably head to our lab –”

Just then, there was a pounding on Hermann’s door that made them both jump, and they could hear Dee’s shrieking from the other side of the door.

“Charlie!” She cried, “Charlie! Newt! We found out one of the boners responsible for whacking with your brain!”

“Yeah!” Mac cheered with her, “It’s the asshole dad of your boyfriend. His name is Lars Gottlieb!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone let that cat out in the rain. And it smells.
> 
> Next chapter deals with Hermann trying to explain some things, and the Gang trying really hard not to faint at the sight of blood.


	10. We've done this Kidnapping thing before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newton discovers a little bit more of the truth, and the Gang gets in deep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brief Hermann interlude this chapter as well, and also, I kinda did a cover art thing for this fic: http://our-celestial-death.tumblr.com/post/67446282997/flowers-for-charlie-i-solely-did-this-based-on-my
> 
> It's on my art blog, sorry for bothering you all with my terrible illustrations, now on with the show!

“What are you guys yelling about? What do you mean whacking my brain?” Newt opened the door and shrieked back, even though he knew it would mortify Hermann by causing a ‘scene’ outside his door.

“We mean the dirt bags who messed around with your brain and made you all smart and stuff,” Mac answered.

“And kidnapped you –” Dee added.

“Yeah that too,” Mac nodded.

“How did you guys –We just learned about this yesterday!”

“Listen Char –Newt,” Frank said, and it was probably the first time ever that Frank called him by his name, even after calling it gay as hell, “We went to Hannibal Chau yesterday –he’s a business associate of course so we discuss things, and he keeps an eye on shit like this –”

“Shit like what Frank?”

“Shit like money,” there was a twinkle in Frank’s eye when he said this, “Money to borrow, money to cover shit up, that kind of trail that gets people interested.”

“Alright so what does that have to do with Hermann’s dick hole of a dad?”

Hermann cleared his throat and Newt turned to look at him, “What? Didn’t he disown you because you didn’t agree with the wall like five years ago? And not to mention the fights you got into with him before that.”

“Such matters are my private business and don’t need any criticism by you.”

“Whatever Herms, but seriously? Guy’s a tool. But what does he have to do with it?”

“Hannibal has an associate that his father borrowed money from, and he used that money to fund the company that did all that shit to your brain.”

“And you believed him?” Newt said, “Like, the guy is cool and all, and also kind of a badass from surviving a Kaiju swallowing him whole –but I don’t trust him.”

“Look Charlie, me and Chau have been buddies and associates for years –”

“Exactly Frank. And you’re a thief and a liar. Remember Christmas? Remember getting blasted with snow and all our shit was stolen? Cause I do.”

“You don’t even remember you birthday,” Frank scolded, “Look, we thought you’d like in on our latest scheme, but I guess you’d rather stay in with you ~lover.”

“Jesus Frank, really? Stop,” Dennis said.

“Yeah, and Frank, honestly, what scheme? What are you four planning?”

“Nothing, you’re not interested,” Frank sang while ushering the gang out the door, Dee waving goodbye.

“Seriously, you guys better not start shit I swear –“

“Bye!” Frank and the others laughed.

“Damnit,” Newt grumbled when they left,” You should call your dad and warn him. They’ve got their scheming faces on,” he shuddered, “It’s going to be ugly.”

“Actually Newton,” Hermann said, “There’s something I need to tell you. I’ve been trying to figure out how to go about explaining this, but I’d think it’d be best if we looked at the rest of the files.”

“Hermann?”

“Please,” he took Newt’s hand, “Please, just let me –“

“What do you have to explain Hermann? Did you –“ and he gapped, “Did you know your dad was behind this? Did you know?”

“Newton please,” Hermann rubbed up Newt’s shoulder but Newt pulled away from his grasp, “Don’t you ‘Newton please’ me,” he frowned, “Did you know about this?”

“I –I, yes, in a way -”

“You KNEW?” Newt backed away from him, revulsion in his eyes, “You KNEW about what they were doing to me?”

“Not to YOU,” Hermann tried to explain, “Please Newton, I swear, I didn’t know it was you –“

“So it’s fine if it was someone else then?” Newt bit his lips, trying to stifle his anger, “If it was someone else it’d be alright?”

“NO of course not! It was just –something that I was consulted on –I didn’t think they’d actually go out and DO IT to people!”

“So you gave them the idea? Did you come up with how to –to systematically destroy my life?”

“Newton, please, be reasonable –“

“I’M NOT THE ONE WHO KIDNAPPED A KID OFF THE STREET –“

“You were hardly a child Newton –“

And then there was a resounding SLAP that bounced off the walls, and it took Hermann to realize that he had in fact been slapped by Newton, and it was done with enough force that it made Hermann’s head completely whip around.

Hermann was paralyzed, trying to think of something, anything, that would make Newt understand, to let him know that he didn’t, that he would never, in a million years, think of harming another person like they had Newton. But his mouth and his brain weren’t working, and his mouth flapped up and down while trying to make a sound.

“I can’t –I can’t be around you, right now, I can’t even look at you, I have to go –I have to go right now, I’m leaving I –“

And Hermann blinked and Newt was gone and out of the room.

And possibly out of his life.

\---

The Next Day  
Hannibal’s Private Jet

10am

Dennis, much to Mac’s internal glee, had decided to stick Dee next to Adrian on their small flight to Germany, where Dee would shoot glares at them every five minutes while Adrian animatedly talked about computer bullshit. Stuff that Sweet Dee had no idea about. She might as well be speaking Latin for all Dee cared.

However, it didn’t compare to the other glares coming from Hannibal’s henchman and…woman. They glared at everyone. Their sneers and utter look of disinterested fury was down pat. 

“We’re going to land soon,” Leah said, looking at her watch, “Remember, once we’re in Germany, don’t talk to anyone. Do not make an impression on anyone you see. The less people remember you, the harder it is to point you out in a lineup if we get caught.”

“Right,” Dennis nodded, shrinking into his seat. This almost felt like that one time he was with Dee in New Jersey, in the back of the van with all those dangerous people. It’d be best to not question these people either, they looked dangerous enough without being stifled by drugs. 

“This should be a relatively simple operation, no matter his illusions of grandeur, Lars Gottlieb isn’t an overwhelmingly important person. His main office doesn’t even have any security surrounding him. It’ll be simple to get him outside where we will be waiting for him in the pick-up car. Also, make sure to strip search him and make sure he isn’t carrying any phones or other electrical devices. The last thing we want is to be tracked by a foreign military because we kidnapped one piss ass banker.”

“Right,” Mac nodded, his eyes wide with excitement. Dennis wasn’t surprised. He was probably reliving every criminal movie fantasy he had ever dreamed of. This stuff was like candy to him.

“Also, only one of you will be carrying,” Wes added, “I’d quite like it to be the blonde.”

“What? Me?” Dee squeaked, “Why me? I can’t even handle a gun.”

“Because you’re the weakest looking of the bunch,” Wes replied, “Your friends look sufficiently pissed off, so Lars won’t think to try to undermine them, even that old bastard,” he pointed at Frank who was sleeping in his sleep, “But you? You’re a frail fragile little slip of a thing. If you’re the one holding the gun, you’re going to look a lot crazier than any of you assholes, and crazy is good. Crazy is going to make him nice and scared.”

“I –I, okay,” Dee sputtered and Adrian clapped a reassuring hand on her shoulder, “It’ll be fine Bonita! You told me you were an actriz earlier! Just think of like Hannibal Lector layers of calm crazy and you’ll do fine.”

“Yeah,” Dee shook, “I’ll be fine.”

\---

Hermann was sitting on his bed, with his head in his hands, desperately trying to think of a way to make this better. But he couldn’t see a way that would make him look innocent, like he wasn’t involved, but he knew different.

He knew that he was responsible for what had happened to Newton.

What had happened to Charlie.

After he was diagnosed with MS all those years ago, when he had his first falling out with his father over something as trivial as his academia and his pursuit to become a pilot, an astronomer, something he craved since he was child, did it begin. Ever since his father looked him in the face and told him that he always knew his childish dream would never be, he would never be what he wanted to be when he grew up. His father had called his dream pointless, even when his mother yelled at him and gathered him up in her arms and kissed his forehead, cooing at him that he could be whatever he wanted when he grew up.

When his father looked at him in the face and said ‘I told you so’ after being diagnosed, was the first time he screamed and cursed at his father and decided to move out of the house, no matter how many times his mother begged him not to. 

That’s when he got tangled up in affairs he shouldn’t have any business tangling up in. He studied and experimented and took jobs and positions like a mad man, hoping through all hope that he would find a way to stop this terrible thing from happening to him, stop the deterioration of his body and his mind. At 22, he knew that he would never be healthier then he was then, that was the day that his body would start to betray him. At 22, he faced the horrible realization that he was slowly dying, every day he was that much closer. It was a fact that affects all living things, but the fact was much more painful and realized in him.

So he started paying attention to experimental drug companies, corporations that focused specifically on the brain, and then when he found them, they welcomed him in, him and his research and his desperation for a cure. He would do anything.

He did do anything.

He can remember an evening discussing a project with one of the leading scientists there, Dr. Welsh, an intelligent insightful mentor several years Hermann’s senior, and he was fascinated with the brain and its many functions. He would often talk to Hermann about his own ailment and they discussed many possible routes to discovering a cure. But on this particularly evening, Welsh began to ask him his thoughts on an experiment he was pursing, a way to stimulate the brain and to induce and intake and harbor information at an accelerated rate. It was an interesting idea, something that Hermann shared no qualms with, but there was always a road block with undergoing the process, that the brain simply could not learn to ingest new information quickly when there was so much information already stored.

Hermann suggested that if the brain could not learn to excel, then they simply had to flush out the old information to put in new information. 

They had this conversation outside, playing chess, discussing the validity of the project and the consequences of doing such a thing, the problematic ethical code of extinguishing a mind’s memories and thoughts, its ticks and mannerisms, until it was like an empty piece of hardware, ready to be utilized.

Then the Kaiju came, and Hermann remembered what he had said.

“If an individual can only think of their wants and needs, with no regards for the outcome of his fellow peers, should that selfishness be acknowledged? After all, one individual does not a society make. Sometimes sacrifices must be taken, for the good of us all.”

“Of course,” Welsh replied, moving one of his chess pieces, “That’s just what I was thinking.”

“It’s all hypothetical of course,” a younger Hermann mused, “If one can figure out the process of dismantling a human’s brain structure humanely, that would be a marvel.”

“But there are inhumane ways, and desperate times call for desperate measures.”

“Yes, but we’re talking about torturing a person in order for them to forget who they are? And then there is also the phenomenon of triggers, the act of reverting someone back into their natural state after undergoing horrors. The brain has ways of protecting itself, it’s why humans are able to repress memories and keep them in the subconscious. But there a ways in which memories can be induced back into the conscious mind. Even if you did have someone systematically manipulated and brainwashed, the information is still stored in the subconscious mind.”

“But even triggers can be forgotten too,” Welsh smiled.

“The human brain is a mystery to us all, and I doubt that we would be able to unlock all its treasures in my lifetime.”

“I don’t know,” Welsh grinned, “I heard the department downstairs is working on a way to increase the longevity of human lives. They might have a breakthrough.”

Hermann laughed, and concentrated on what his next move was going to be, but then Welsh spoke up again, “I do agree with you though Gottlieb,” Welsh added, “What is one man, in the face of billions? Surely, once an ignorant man is nurtured into becoming an intelligent individual, he would no doubt agree, that sacrifices must be taken, and the happiness of one person pales in comparison to that of an entire civilization?”

“Indeed,” Hermann nodded, moving one of his pieces, “And I believe that would be checkmate, Mr. Welsh.”

And Hermann smiled.

Of course, later, when the company wasn’t receiving enough money, he went crawling back to his father and asked him to procure some resources and investments to keep the corporation afloat. And his father did, because in the end he professed that of course he still cared about him, that he wanted him to succeed in every aspect of his life. And when he found out that he was trying to find the cure for his own disease, he smiled at him and asked if there was anything else he could do to help.

Months after, working at the company and his university simultaneously, he was no closer to discovering the cure then he was when he began. And that’s when he found out they were implementing Welsh’s idea, that they were beginning human testing on the pills he helped develop to wipe a brain clean. The reason he worked on the idea in the first place was his hope to reverse the effects the MS was doing in his cranium, but then he found out they were being used to erase people memories and minds. Hermann wanted no part of it, but they had threatened him, and told him if he ever came out to the public with his knowledge, they’d discredit both him and his father. 

Then the Kaiju appeared again and Hermann forgot about it all. He wasn’t interested in combating his MS anymore or chasing his dream to become an astronaut. His work stopped being about his dream, and started being about living. About what he needed to do rather than what he wanted to do. 

What he wanted now was for Newton to understand.


	11. I was a famous Inventor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermann is given a chance to explain himself, but just when things seem fine, more problems arise.

Germany

2:15 pm

Lars Gottlieb is sitting at his desk, looking over some paper work that had just gotten sent over from downstairs, and he was tired. Today hadn’t been a very good one. This morning he over slept, something he never did, and traffic was hell so he was even later to work than usual. He had skipped breakfast, plus he had a back log of clients to work with that needed to be done by the end of the week. And it was only Wednesday. When he got home he would forgo dinner and simply lay down to rest in hopes it would eliminate his headache. 

After he realized he was reading the same line over and over again, his secretary called him over his office speakerphone, something about people here to see him? He wasn’t really paying attention, but he knew that he didn’t have any appointments with any clients today. If there was one thing he was good at, it was keeping track of his appointments. 

He asked her who they were again, and she simply replied, “They’re demanding to see you Mr. Gottlieb. They keep saying that they’re from the Kelly family. They insist that you know them. Should I call security?”

Kelly? That name did sound vaguely familiar, but he knew that none of his clients currently went by the name of Kelly. However, he was having an awful day as it is, he was probably missing something. It’d be best to see them to ask what all the fuss was about.

“No, its fine, I see them. Send them in, thank you.”

Three minutes later, his secretary knocked on his door, opening it to let them in. Two men walked in first, then a woman, and then a short, fat older man trailing behind her. They all had stony set looks on their faces, looking at him with a mixture of distaste and anger. The woman’s mouth was curdled, like his existence personally offended her. 

“Can I help you?” Gottlieb asked, putting his pen down as they sat in the chairs in front of his desk.

“Yes,” the woman said, her lips curling up into a smile, and it was even angrier than her frown, “My name is Sweet Dee Kelly. This is my brother, Dennis Kelly, and his friend, Mac Kelly, and my father, Frank Kelly.”

There was a pause as all of them grinned, like they were all partaking in a joke that he didn’t understand yet, and he raised his eyebrows, “I’m sorry, do I know you?”

“We’re here on the behalf of Charlie Kelly,” The man beside her said, “Of course; he goes by Newton Geiszler now.”

Newton Geiszler, now that is a name he recognized. He was Hermann’s lab partner, the rude man-child with the crazy obsession and the tasteless tattoos. These people knew him? And what did they mean when they said he goes by……

His eyes widened in realization, when the man with the slicked black hair reached over the table to grab in the back of the head and slammed it against the desk.

“That’s for him you son of a bitch,” he growled. 

He was dazed and his headache tripled, but he lifted his head in time to see his associates all stare at him with wide eyes.

“Holy shit Mac, where the hell did you learn to do that?” The woman exclaimed.

“I –I don’t know. It just came over me, I was so pissed off,” the man stammered.

“Well, kudos to you pal,” the other young man said, “That was officially the most bad ass thing you’ve ever done.”

“Really? You think?”

“Quit your yapping and focus on your jobs,” the short man snarled, “Dee, get the gun.”

“Oh! Right!” The woman exclaimed and pulled out a small handgun, pointing it at Lars who immediately put his hands in the air, “Now, here’s how it’s going to go,” the woman, Dee, told him, “You’re going to walk out with us, and you’re going to act like it’s NOT against your will. If you try getting funny with me, I’ll put one in between your eyes so fast you won’t have time to blink, and –“ she stuttered but regained her nerve, “And then we’ll go after your son, cause we know where he’s stationed, and then we’ll go after the rest of your family. Cause we’re crazy people. We’ll, like, eat your family.”

“A little dark Dee,” the other man, Mac, told her.

She hissed, “Shut up. Now, are you going to cooperate?” she asked Lars.

He nodded. If they knew who Geiszler was, they knew Hermann. And even if they seemed like idiots, they could still very well carry on with their threats. Best to go along with whatever they wanted for the time being. 

\---

Wes had a nasty habit of throwing one his knives into the ceiling to see how many times it would stick to the roof of the car. It was incredibly annoying, and not to mention that the car was a rental, but he had nervous ticks that he couldn’t help and he did it without thinking, and after she warned him the seventh time, he just got short with her and said he’d pay for the damage.

“But wouldn’t it be funny if we ditched them though?” Wes asked as he threw the knife again, “We take the old dude and just speed off? Don’t tell me that wouldn’t be hilarious.”

“It’s not your job to be hilarious,” Leah said from the driver’s seat, pursing her lips under large black glasses that hid most of her face, with a grey bobbled hat, and if Leah didn’t threaten to rip her eyes out of her skull four years ago while breaking her hand Adrian would seriously consider flirting with her, “Your job is to be mean and scary and frequently hit people.”

“If you’re not having fun, what the point man?” Wes grimaced.

“The point is to make money,” Leah replied, “And striking fear into the hearts of the weak, if that sweetens the deal.”

“Right,” Wes grinned, “Oh, they’re coming out, that Lars is a twitchy fucker ain’t he?”

“Just get the door open Wes,” Adrian rolled her eyes, and he grumbled but he did so.

As soon as the door slipped open Mac and Dee shoved Gottlieb inside, and the rest piled while they sped off.

Adrian didn’t have a lot of experience being around kidnapped people, so she smiled at him light heartedly and held up one of the coffees they bought earlier because Germany was cold as tits, “You want one?”

He gave her a sideways glance and pulled his mouth into a tight line, “No thank you, I’m fine.”

“Are you worried that it’s poisoned?” Adrian raised her eyebrow, “Cause I wouldn’t do that coffee man. Like, I wouldn’t even spit in coffee, it’s totally safe, I’d give this to my Madre.”

 

“Adrian, don’t be nice to the man we just forcibly kidnapped,” Lead scolded from the front of the car.

“God, I just asked if he wanted some coffee,” Adrian muttered, “None of you have any manners.”

“Can we all just be quiet until we make it back to the jet?” Wes groaned, “Seriously, I’ve been up for like two days I’m slowly crossing the threshold were I have no boundaries. Like, I might kill a dude, I don’t know. Just everyone shut up.”

And that’s when Adrian realized she was stuck in a van with one scared hostage, four Americans who refused to stop glaring at their victim, and two people who can probably be categorized as serial killers.

She really needed to start examining her life choices.

\---

“Newton,” Hermann was knocking insistently outside Newton’s door and he was too tired to worry himself into an early grave about this. He needed to explain himself. He needed Newton to understand. Otherwise…. He didn’t know what he was going to do.

Newton finally opened the door, dark circles under his eyes which looked bloodshot and sore. He had probably been crying for hours, but looked cried out, at least for the time being.

“You should drink some water,” Hermann said in a small voice, “You’ll get dehydrated and get headaches.”

“Did you come here to lecture me?” Newt’s voice was dead and thick, like he was choking back some choice words he really wanted to say.

“No,” Hermann shook his head, “I wanted to talk to you, can I come in?”

Newt immediately nodded, and allowed Hermann into his room, and then he led Hermann to his bed so that he could sit down, knowing his leg was probably flaming up under this stress, but still opting to stand in front of Hermann. It was a childish power play but Newt was still pissed off and justifiably angry at him.

“You wanted to talk, talk,” Newton said.

“I’m sorry,” Hermann blurted, “I should have told you, right when we saw the videos, I recognized the man, the one who….. held you down, I knew who he was and I said nothing,” Hermann’s knuckles tightened on his cane, “I didn’t want to believe it was true, that something I was involved in…. that I had played a part in hurting you, but I swear Newton, I didn’t know what they were doing with my research.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Newt asked, “If you weren’t responsible, why didn’t you just tell me?”

“I was so ashamed,” Hermann said, “I had let them take advantage of me and I pulled my father into it, and I had an opportunity to stop them and I was too scared to do anything about it. I shouldn’t have put myself before you, before the people they undoubtedly hurt, but I was scared of what they would do to my career, and my father’s career, and I let my pride allow them to torture innocent people.”

Newt ran a hand through his hair, brows furrowing, and then he asked, “Why were you even involved in the first place? You’re a mathematician. What were you doing working with an expermi –“ and then Newt cut himself off and his eyes darted to Hermann’s cane, and from then he was silent, waiting for Hermann’s answer.

Hermann caught Newton’s look, and he too looked down at his cane, and his arms quaked slightly, “You know why I use this cane?” but it was more like a statement then a question.

“I –at first I thought it was an accident when we first met, but it’s not isn’t it? It’s –it’s MS isn’t it?” Newton’s mouth twitched and he looked guilty, and Hermann felt a lump in his throat. Newton shouldn’t feel guilty when he was the one at fault.

“Yes,” Hermann nodded, and Newton nodded with him, “I never asked, but I suspected that might…be it,” Newt supplied, “You were looking for a cure, that’s why you were involved.”

“I swear,” Hermann looked at Newt with true remorse in his eyes, “I swear that I wasn’t aware of what they were thinking of doing, but one of the head scientists, he came and would speak to me often about his theoretical project, and I told him, I told him that it was better to think about the majority rather than the minority, that one person’s happiness didn’t make up for the suffering of others. I told him that, and he used that reasoning to continue on with his study, with doing this to you.”

Hermann let his cane drop and put his head in his hands, “I will never forgive myself for doing this to you, not for the rest of my life,” and Newt had enough and kneeled down to embrace Hermann, “I can never stay mad at you,” Newt whimpered, “I should have known better, I should have known you would have had a good reason for not telling me, you’re a good person.”

“Newton –“ Hermann tried to protest but it just made Newton squeeze him harder, “No, shut up you old grumpy curmudgeon. Those guys were looking for someone to justify torturing the shit out of people just so they could feel better about themselves so they tricked you into agreeing. And now I kinda feel like a dick for being mad at you because you were just trying how to find a cure for a disease that was affecting your life.”

“Stop being so forgiving,” Hermann growled, “I could have stopped it. I could have made it so they never pulled you off the street and psychologically abused and destroyed you.”

“Man, it was going to happen eventually,” Newt shook his head, “Dee was right. I was so stupid. I signed anything anyone gave me. You know, one time I made an invention called kitten mittens and this asshole lawyer got me to sign the rights away.”

“You’re the inventor of Kitten Mittens?” Hermann choked out a tear soaked laugh, “Those things are ridiculous. Right next to those damnable SNUGGIES that used to be so popular.”

“I know right? Only a total moron would come up with something as asinine as kitten mittens.”

“Newton I’m trying really hard to feel guilty for doing this to you and ruining your life and you being so forgiving and agreeable is just making me feel worse,” Hermann huffed.

“Well, that’s why we work,” Newton grinned, “When we piss each other off you’re sweet so I can’t stay mad at you and you make me feel better when I’m low and I forgive you whenever you’re self-deprecating and guilty.”

Hermann could only hold Newton tighter to himself and then deigned it necessary to make a joke, “When you put all the variables together we make a very good bond don’t you think?”

“Oh god,” Newt cringed, “Oh my god did you just try to mix science and math into a pun? That was terrible. Oh my god it didn’t even make any sense. Why am I even dating you?”

“My devilishly good looks, I suppose,” Hermann grinned.

“Please be quiet, oh my god, I can’t not handle you right now, you’ve gone insane with guilt. Get out, get off this planet, you’re horrible.”

Newt’s phone started to ring just when they were smiling at each other, but it would stop, so he groaned and rolled his eyes and went to pick it up.

“Hello?” Newton answered, and was surprised to hear Adrian’s voice on the line.

“Hey Oso,” Adrian said, reverting back to his nickname, “Okay, so, don’t freak out, but I thought I should give you the heads up because we’re going to be landing back in Hong Kong in a few hours.”

“What do you mean we?” Newt asked, “What do you mean landing back? You left Hong Kong? Where did you go?”

“Germany,” Adrian answered, “Chau sent me and some people along with your friends to Germany, and well, we kinda kidnapped Lars Gottlieb so you should probably come to Chau’s tomorrow. Just a head’s up.”

“YOU DID WHAT?!” Newt screamed.

“What is it?” Hermann asked, face wracked with worry.

“Dude! I told you to call your dad!” Newt wailed, “My friends just went to Germany and kidnapped your dad!”


	12. I am a Martyr of myself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newton reveals his motives, and Hannibal has yet too

Newton couldn’t think.

Couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t feel.

His fingers felt icy and cold, and he couldn’t will them to move, couldn’t will his body to do much of anything. He felt empty and solid all at once, like his entire being was made of heavy stone, but he could feel his heart hammering in his chest, beating faster and faster, fluttering and fluxuating, like any minute he was going to combust and crumble, spraying apart into millions of pieces.

All at once he felt like he should run but he was too paralyzed to move, and in any case, where would he go? Where would he run? The safest place in the world had always been by Hermann’s side, immovable, excitable Hermann, who would not spare an inch for him but would do anything to receive the approval of their former Commander, Stacker Pentecost. Hermann, with his bitter teas and his wire rimmed glasses that he kept on a chain, who was as stubborn and passionate as he was, who would not be swayed by bullying or torment, who made sure Newt would go to bed at a reasonable hour. Who made sure he remembered to eat between work, who knew when to notice Newton’s episodes. Who told him to breathe when he couldn’t, who would keep him in place when he felt like he was everywhere. Hermann, who looked after him, Hermann, who made him work his very hardest. The man who argued with him, the man who gave just as much as Newton gave him, who wouldn’t be cowed by aggression. The man that liked to put on a hard front but was an actual soft dork on the inside. The Hermann who was brave, the Hermann who was the sweetest man alive.

Hermann, who he couldn’t trust anymore. He probably would never be able to again.

Hermann had lied to him. It’s what ate Newton up inside, Hermann had looked him in the face and lied to him. Hermann went to bed with him, kissed him, whispered the sweetest things Newton had ever heard into his ear and he lied through his teeth. Hermann’s side was no longer the safest place in the world to him. It felt like a viper’s nest, a dark corner that would snatch him up and drag him down. When he thought about going to Hermann, he felt like vomiting, he felt like crying for the next million years. 

He thought to himself, as long as he had Hermann, it would be okay. As long as he had him by his side, everything would be alright, but now he knew with certainty, he never even had that to begin with. The man he knew for ten years wasn’t the man he knew at all. Hell, the man Newton thought he was wasn’t even the man he thought he was. Everything about his life was a LIE. A huge, dark, ugly lie. Newton thought he loved Hermann, but was that even true anymore? Why did he love Hermann? Was he even, god, was he even sexually attracted to men at all? Hell, maybe the reason he even went to Hermann is because he had lost the Waitress, and he couldn’t even remember her goddamn name anymore, or what she looked like. He treated her like shit, but besides the gang, she was the only constant in his life. What if he just loved the consistency? What if he just settled for what he saw every day? Besides the Kaiju and his work, the only other thing he would see every day of his stupid lie of a life was Hermann. Hermann in the morning, Hermann in the lab, Hermann before he went to sleep at night. That’s all it was, for years, Hermann coming in and out through the lab door and walking down the hall. Eating dinner with him. Drinking coffee and arguing with him.

God, what was his life anymore? What did they expect him to do after the war was over? Did they just expect him to disappear? Did they think he would be okay traveling back to Berlin and walking to an empty house that he thought his dad and uncle lived? What did they think he would do? Did they have any other plan for him? Any plan at all? Did they just let him loose into the world, hoping for the best?

Or maybe they thought he would settle with the first person he saw, would go off and become reliant on them for the rest of his days, until he died and they didn’t have to think about him anymore? Who does that? Why would they do this to him? Why did Hermann do this to him? Why couldn’t they just leave him alone in Philly, where he would probably die by forty, from inhaling too much asbestos or eating poisoned meat that Mac would dare him to try? They could have just let him be, in his squalid apartment eating cat food and getting high, quietly losing his shit while his life continued to spiral out of control, with his fear of intimacy, of being an illiterate fool, of letting the knowledge of his uncle touching him inappropriately fester inside of him until it ate him up in the inside because his mother was too high and too drunk to notice what was going on with her son, who was probably doing the same to his sisters, wherever the hell they were now. At least then, his life was real. At least then, he wouldn’t be sitting his room quietly, freaking out and feeling like he was going to die of a heart attack any minute because everything he ever was, was stripped away from him for some shitty pet project a couple of assholes wanted to try.

Those asshole were probably out there somewhere, feeling damn good about themselves probably, patting themselves on the back because they pulled some junkie kid off the street who was living like a rat and made him a genius, throwing him back into the world and crossing their fingers that he would make it. They probably thought they had done something good, given him a chance or some other stupid lifetime movie catchphrase or something equally as cheesy as a feel good flick. They must be feeling so goddamned assured of themselves that they had helped an idiot.

He couldn’t trust Hermann anymore, that much was for sure. The only thing he could count on was the gang. They were liars, but at least they were predictable liars. He was the wild card after all, and even then his behavior was predictable as there’s. And although this blow to the heart by Hermann had sideswiped him, Hermann would be just as predictable.

He would come in, wide eyes and watering, coming to him with a sob story to tell, with an explanation to give, and he would beg for forgiveness. Hermann couldn’t stand to leave a loose end like this, and Hermann couldn’t stand to be in the wrong. And hell, maybe he’d even sincere about it, maybe Hermann really was innocent in this after all. In time, Newt might be able to forgive him for this. 

But not now. Right now Newton didn’t have time for this, didn’t have time to work out his feelings for Hermann or where they were now. He’d play the part, he’d smile, and he’ll ease Hermann’s mind, not that he deserved it, but he needed to figure out where to go from here. And it would be easier once he had all the cards in his hand, once he had all the aces. He would figure out who was exactly responsible for what was done to him.

And then….

He’d do something Charlie would probably do. He’d do this for Charlie.

He’d do right by him, for once in his miserable life, someone was going to do something right for Charlie.

\---

9 pm

Hermann and Newt walked to Chau’s, and Adrian was waiting outside for them, fiddling with a holographic notepad in her hands.

“It took you long enough. Everyone’s inside.”

“What are you doing to my father?” Hermann asked, eyes stern but mouth quivering. Adrian felt some pity, but she thought back to the videos, and her guilt dissolved.

“Nothing he doesn’t deserve,” she told him.

“Adrian, you got to stop this,” Newton pleaded, “The reason why Hermann’s dad was involved was because Hermann was involved.”

Adrian looked as if she had been shocked, because she jumped back and her back hit the door and she began to swear in Spanish, before hissing, “Are you serious? Are you actually fucking SHITTING me right now?” she looked between the pair of them.

“Dead serious,” Newton told her, “Seriously Adrian, you got the wrong guy, he was only doing this for Hermann, we’ll explain everything, just get us in there and stop this before it gets out of hand!”

“Alright,” Adrian huffed, “C’mon, we got to run, Wes is fucking crazy and we left him alone with you friends and him. Let’s go.”

They ran, and Hermann was close to tears, mostly because of the strain on his leg and the thought of what they were possibly doing to his father because he didn’t speak up earlier. 

They passed several of Hannibal’s henchmen, who raised an eyebrow but otherwise made no move to stop them, as they probably recognized Adrian, and possibly Newt from the last time he was here.

Adrian took them down a flight a stairs, to what Newton assumed was some sort of mobster torture dungeon, and they ran down a few halls before she stopped at one door and practically kicked it in. Inside was Hermann’s father, relatively unharmed, but looking rather worried as Dennis and Dee rambled at each other from one side of the room.

“OH THANK GOD,” Adrian gasped and sucked in air, “I thought Wes was already torturing him,” she gasped again.

“Who? The weird guy with the knife? Nah, he said something about eating first before starting. They left to go get fast food or something,” Dennis told them.

“We told them to bring us all some food, so you guys should stick around,” Dee mentioned.

“Thank the lord that man thinks with his stomach before his job,” Adrian breathed heavily, “We came to stop him actually, Lars isn’t our go to guy.”

“What, are you serious?” Frank snarled, “You mean to say we flew all the way to France –“

“Germany, Frank,” Mac corrected.

“ –Germany for nothing?”

“Yes!” Adrian exclaimed, “Listen, these two knuckleheads,” she pointed her thumb at Newt and Hermann, “Have some information for us, so let’s put the torture on hold for now.”

“Hermann,” Lars gasped from his chair, “You’ve got to get out of here, this instant. These people mean to hurt you.”

“Father?” Hermann hobbled over to him and proceeded to untie him, “Are you okay? They didn’t do anything to you, did they?”

“I’m fine, besides from the enormous headache I’ve acquired from listening to THOSE people talk, I’m alright. But you need to leave, right now. They’ve threatened to hurt you.”

“No one here is hurting anyone,” Newton whined, “We’re all going to sit down and actually TALK for once before going all over the world before MAKING DEALS WITH MOB BOSSES AND ABDUCTING PEOPLE!”

The Gang actually managed to look sheepish, and Dennis said, “We were pissed, we demanded blood.”

“Yeah man, blood, and tears, and shit,” Mac agreed.

“And grief money,” Dee added.

“Yeah, and grief money,” Dennis nodded.

“I knew it,” Newton sighed, “I knew this was all part of your stupid schemes. But this isn’t selling gas door to door or taking people’s garbage, you went to another country and kidnapped MY BOYFRIEND’S DAD? This is an entirely new level of dark!”

“You’ve got no right to judge Charlie,” Frank objected, “You’ve done some pretty dark shit before, you bit a mall Santa in the neck because you had a mental breakdown and assumed he had fucked your mom.”

“Yeah Frank, mental breakdown would be the choice words in that sentence. You guys are of sound mind, and nowhere near as psychotic as I was back then!”

“Now that’s debatable,” Dee shrugged.

“Yeah, we could be stricken by grief after witnessing what happened to you.”

“But I’m not going around kidnapping people!” Newton protested.

“Give it a day, you’ll start doing dark shit soon enough,” Frank insisted.

“No one is doing anything to anyone!” Newt half screamed.

“Or what?” Hannibal asked from behind them all.


	13. The Foundation is at the Bottom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somehow everyone's problems get bigger than just Newt's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update is short

This was not a situation Adrian had expected for her to actually end up in. Sure, she had some construed ideas about how working with Hannibal Chau would actually end up, but she didn’t think for a second that her outlandish imagination would actually hold some weight.

At the very least she always assumed that if she was going to be tied up in a room it would be by competitor trying to dredge up secrets and back codes out of her. Or possibly tied up by an enthusiastic girl.

She never expected to be Hannibal. And she certainly didn’t expect to be tied up with the rest of these idiots.

“I understand them,” Adrian moaned, “But why am I in a chair?”

“Anyone who’s got a weepy look on their faces is getting tied to a chair,” Hannibal answered, “Especially when I’ve learned you went out of your way to call Geiszler and informing him of this entire operation.”

“Considering he’s the reason we’re even doing this in the first place, I’d thought he’d like to know,” Adrian hissed, then muttering, “Or punch him out, I don’t know. I’d like to.”

“And this is why you’re the one tied to the chair,” Hannibal grinned and snarled, “Like a disobedient child.”

“Alright, so I messed up!” Adrian nearly yelled, “There’s no need to be this dramatic!”

“See, this is why I don’t like hiring people with this sticky moral center,” Hannibal muttered, “They don’t know how to follow orders! They’d rather do what’s morally right, when I need you to just do what I say and shut your mouth. These two understand,” he waved his hand at Wes and Leah, who only nodded silently. Except for Wes, he waved at her obnoxiously and smiled.

“This is why I liked living away from you,” Adrian muttered, “I could just do my job and not get involved. All I have to do is take your money and be done with it.”

“Right,” Hannibal smirked, “You can just hide behind your little computer screen and pretend you were doing no wrong. That you weren’t hurting anyone, can sit in your house and pretend to be a loyal soldier.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Adrian sniffed, “I like breaking the rules just as much as the next person, and I can sleep comfortable at night knowing that I’ve hurt people working for your sorry ass, but don’t think for a second I’m doing it for any kind of misguided loyalty. You’re useful for your money, and nothing else. Everyone else might be in awe of you, but to me you’re just a paycheck at the end of a long day.”

“Well,” Hannibal grinned, shaking his head, “At least you’re honest.”

And he turned away from them and walked out of the room.

\---

“So in hindsight, this was probably a bad idea,” Dennis said, after a long stretch of silence, and Dee shrieked.

“No shit this was a bad idea! When is making a deal with a mob boss ever a good idea!”

“You know, if Charlie and his gimpy boyfriend didn’t storm here like the brigade, we wouldn’t be in this mess,” Dennis countered.

“Well maybe if you didn’t fly around the country kidnapping innocent people –“

“Well how were we supposed to know that!?”

“Not listening to a distrustful mob boss would be a good idea!”

“BRILLIANT CHARLIE! I’ll listen to advice from you any day about trusting people, because you have an amazing track record with that! I mean –look at you now!” Dennis shouted.

“At least I’m not still crawling around in a gutter of a bar, waiting around your ass for someone else to fall for your get rich quick schemes!”

“Oh yeah? Because from what I can recall, you were the one that was doing most of the crawling around –that’s right! Crawling around the mud like a disgusting rodent! If it weren’t for us watching you, you’d probably would have died on a street corner huffing glue!”

“Well, at least I made something of my life, instead of wasting it like you! You own a mediocre bar! I saved the world!”

“Please!” Dennis scoffed, “Please, the reason you were able to pull it off is because you were experimented on and you know it! The only reason you were able to pull yourself from the filthy gutter you call a life is because they messed with your brain. Everything you are is fake! It’s a cheat!”

Newton screamed and thrashed himself in his seat, “You -!” he shrieked, “Dennis you take that back right now!”

“You know I’m right Charlie!!” Dennis screamed right back.

“BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!” Sweet Dee screamed, and the shouting was silenced.

Newt and Dennis continued to breathe heavily, glaring at each other, while everyone in their respective chairs were still and silent.

“You know I’m right,” Dennis spoke up, “Don’t pretend you aren’t anything more than trash, or that you’re better than us.”

“Because you’re the one who’s better than us all,” Newt hissed, “Right Dennis?”

Dennis was silent, like he knew better than to bite what Newt was giving him.

“So how are we going to get out of this anyway,” Dee sighed, raising her brow at the both of them, “Geniuses.”

“It’s pronounced Genii,” Hermann spoke up, “And we don’t have to worry too much about that.”

“How do you figure?” Mac asked.

The loud shouting and smashing supplied their answer for them.

\---

Soldiers that had PPDC emblazed on their uniform stormed into the room they were held in, and they all rushed in to get them untied, grabbing hold of their arms and hurrying them out. There was a flurry of bullets being rained down on all of them from several directions, and Newt’s heart began to beat fast in his chest. There was so much noise, it reminded him too much about his encounter with Otachi. Everyone was screaming and pushing, scared and running, and he could still remember the smell of sweat and the heat of bodies pressed against them. 

The worse was the ground moving, the sight of Otachi in the distance, knocking down buildings, letting the chunks of concrete fall to the ground, crushing people underfoot. Killing anything in its way to get to him. Trying to find him, to take him. Whether to kill him or to drag him back to the breach, Otachi was calling for him. She would have killed Mako and Rayleigh doing it.

“Newton?” Hermann was right next to him, one hand dragging his father and the other on Newt’s shoulder, as they were being ushered out of the building.

He didn’t answer him, just grabbed his arm and squeezed.

\---

Otherwise from Frank getting shot in the foot, due to his own stupidity, everyone got out unscathed, including Adrian, who was sitting in a room with a mirror which she knew was one way, she grew up watching Law and Order thank you, and she had her arms crossed and a pout on, but otherwise safe.

“Now,” Herc started, his disappointed dad face on, staring down Newton and Hermann, with the Gang behind them trying to look small and invisible, “Would any of you like to tell me why I just had to send in a squad to save your sorry arses after a call from Dr. Gottlieb that his father was kidnapped, from the bowels of Hannibal Chau’s hideout?”

“Well,” Newton started, and flinched under Herc’s unwavering glare, “It’s my fault, er, pretty much this entire mess is all on me.”

“He’s lying,” Hermann interrupted, “It’s my fault.”

Newton stopped him, grabbing Hermann and shook him slightly, “Oh no you don’t you martyr,” Newt hissed, “I’m not letting you take the fall for this.”

“Look, I don’t care about your domestic tiffs,” Herc shouted over them both, “As far as I’m concerned, the both of you got into this mess, and your civilian friends,” Herc pointed towards the gang, “Who have no clearance to be here, have dragged you into this mess, as far as I’m concerned.”

“What this is, it’s personal,” Newt spoke up, “You don’t understand. This concerns me, and I let my problems involve everyone around me.”

“So you mean to tell me,” Herc said, “That because of some problem you’re having, you involved a group of innocent people, and the other head of our K-Science division, along with his father, with some business with Hannibal Chau, and now I’ve got his top computer programmer sitting in a room scaring all everyone I send in there to talk to her?”

“It’s complicated,” Newt bowed his head.

“Well, then,” Herc crossed his arms, “Good thing we don’t have Kaiju to worry about to interrupt us. So you have time to explain this to me.”

Newt sighed, and then turned to look at Hermann, “Let’s go the lab, there’s something you should see.”

\---

Tendo was sitting at his seat, staring blankly at his screen, chewing on a mouth full of bagel stuffed in his mouth and playing with the rosary he had on his arm. He was tired and cranky, and he wanted nothing more than to shut down for the day and go back to his room so he could talk to Alison. She was at home with their little girl, and she was getting bigger every day. He couldn’t wait for when their request to go home to come through. He didn’t want to leave the PPDC, it was his life, but he wanted to see his little girl grow up, after they spent all this time and energy making it safe for her to live.

But that’ s when the sensors started to detect movement. But it wasn’t coming from the breach.

It didn’t look like it was coming from anywhere. But it was there. Waiting to be found.

\---

Herc was silent while he watched the rest of the footage, and when it was over, he was just as quiet, and Newton and Hermann didn’t say anything, just hung their heads, awaiting his response.

“That’s you,” Hermann stated, and Newton nodded.

“So, what you’re saying is, these blokes did this to you, and you just now realized this happened?”

Another nod.

“And Chau’s girl was the one who found all this out?”

Another nod again.

“And so the reason why you’re in this mess with him is because, I’m guessing, he’s trying to make money off your tragedy?”

“That would be another yes, Mr. Hansen,” Hermann told him.

“So why is your dad involved?” Herc asked, but stopped himself, “No, let me guess, it’s because he’s involved with the men responsible for –for this,” and he just waved in Newt’s general direction.

“Hey -!” Newt protested but Herc cut him off by holding out his hand to stop him.

“No, it’s because,” Hermann hung his head, “It’s because I was the one involved in this operation, and I asked my father for help. It was a misunderstanding and because of it they went after him, when they should have been going after me,”

“Would you stop with the guilt tripping already,” Newt scolded, “You were young and stupid, and I know that must be some sort of foreign concept to you because you were born an old man, but you’re allowed to be an idiot.”

“Alright then!” Herc interrupted, “My heart bleeds for the both of you, it really does, but I cannot ignore the fact that you got involved with a known criminal. Now I know the Marshall, god rest his soul, overlooked Chau’s status as a criminal, desperate times and all that. But the world isn’t ending, and we’re not running around desperately just to live anymore. I cannot in good conscience, allow this to continue any further. I promise you, Dr. Geiszler,” Herc directed his attention towards Newt, “We will find the men responsible, and they will face the consequences of their actions. But we all have jobs to do, and we will do this under my watch. The first thing is to send your friends home.”

“But Her- Mr. Hansen,” But Herc only shook his head, “I’m not going to argue with you Dr. Geiszler. You’re a hell of a scientist, and without you, my son would have died in vain, and I owe that to you, but your friends are civilians, and I’m not going to endanger their well-being over this mess we found ourselves in.”  
Herc backed away from the both of them, wiping his mouth with his good hand, and said, “You’re both dismissed.”

Tendo came bursting in, red faced and scared out of his mind.

“Mr. Choi, what seems to be –“

“There’s movement, about sixty miles east of the former breach site.”

Everyone in the room stopped breathing.


	14. Let's talk Gender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They pull someone out of the water, and something.

The ocean waters under the copters were unnervingly still as they hovered over the Pacific, relentlessly searching for whatever set off the sensors, and praying that they wouldn’t find anything. If there was one thing they were hopeful about, is the fact that whatever set it off was very small, the only reason it blipped in was the fact that it seemingly appeared out of nowhere. If it was a Kaiju, it wouldn’t even be a category 0, it’d be more like a category -3. So when they went out to search for what would hopefully be a small dolphin carcass or anything else that would be just as plausible, they didn’t expect to see a jaeger pod floating aimlessly around.

One of the men on board screamed, and several of them dived into the water in order to get whoever was in the pod. And clutching the pod was someone with short blonde hair and what seemed to be frostbite around her eyes and nose. Or his nose. None of them looked close enough to tell who the stranger was, but they were clutching to the pod and almost refused to go with one of the men who were trying to get her onto the rope ladder leading up to the copter.

They muttered, pawing at the pod.

“What?” one of the men asked. And they shook their head, “Get him out. He’s ‘sleep. Gotta wake ‘em up.”

The men nodded and climbed up on top if the pod and released the emergency lever, the cover popped off and they all gasped in shock.

One of them said in awed reverence, “It’s impossible.”

\---

Shatterdome

Herc and Tendo were waiting on the Helicopter pads for them to return, after they all started yelling at the same time over the radio, and then when they all couldn’t pull together to tell them what exactly they found, they all conceded that they would only understand when they saw what they were bringing back.

So when they came back, none of them could believe their eyes.

First the men came out half carrying a person wrapped in a green blanket, soaking wet. Their hair was blonde and they had black bruises around their eyes and nose, and the eyes were bright, luminescent blue. Whoever it was, they towered over the men by a clear two feet, and seemed to resemble both male and female attributes. Flat chested, but slender, with wide eyes but masculine features. They didn’t speak, only allowed themselves to be led by the men around them. After that, Herc dropped Max’s leash, because at who he saw they were carrying off the copter. 

His son, bundled in blanket like a new born was being carried across the threshold and Herc ran to him. His boy. Chuck Hansen had come home.

\---

Chuck had all sorts of manner of bruises and cuts, along with internal bleeding and a coma he couldn’t seem to wake up from, but he was alive, hooked up to several machines that helped regulate his breathing and made sure he was fed, but alive. Herc refused to leave his side, not even to sleep in his own room. Instead the nurses helped wheel in a bed so he could sleep by his son’s bed. He only left to attend to work that couldn’t be ignored, but other than that, every waking moment was spent devoted to seeing to his son’s every need. 

But there was the other matter with the person down the hall that the doctors couldn’t seem to make heads or tails of at all. They had no visible genitalia, that could find anyway. No penis, no vagina, nothing. They had no mammary glands. They were hairless and had red freckles scattered across their entire body. The black coloring around their eyes wasn’t frostbite or bruises, it was the natural pigmentation of their skin, and the same pigmentation was found around their elbows and knees, and on the paunch of their stomach. There were a few strands of the same luminescent blue that was found in their eyes in the hair. The strangest part was the eyes. They had no pupils but they did have black rings. They were almost alien. And they didn’t speak, not after the first time the men pulled them out of the water.

They kept the person in the hospital with the resident psychologist, who pandered to them and tried to coax them into talking, into giving them any sign that they could understand what was happening around them. And of course, to ask why they were clinging to the pod that housed Chuck Hansen. Or to explain how he was still alive after several days with no food, water, or medical attention.

And of course, to explain where they had come from.

But as the days passed, Chuck didn’t wake up, and the person was not talking. They seemed to ignore anyone who attempted to speak with them, but when the doctors examined them, they didn’t resist and gave no indication that they were at all bothered with being poked or prodded. And there was another thing. Their blood was blue.

\---

“So what you’re saying is you want me to go examine the person that was holding onto Chuck Hansen’s pod? Why? I’m not a doctor,” Newton said when one of the docs from the med bay came into his lab.

“You’re not a doctor on human anatomy,” the doctor replied, “And I’m not sure the person we got holed up in the med bay is actually human.”

“Not human how?”

“Well we sent back the blood samples we got from them, and well,” the doctor sputtered, “It’s Kaiju blue.”

“What did you just say?” Newton dropped his pen from the report he was working on. Actually it was an appeal to get the Gang authorization into the Dome. Herc was signing everything these days so he figured it was worth a shot.

“Kaiju blue, Dr. Geiszler,” the man said, whose nametag read Montia.

“There’s a person who’s blood is Kaiju blue and they aren’t dead?!” Newt jumped up, scrambling to get his coat, “Let’s go, we’re going.”

“Oh, good. Right now?”

“Hell yes we’re going right now. This is incredible! Impossible! Oh my god what if it’s a mutated human? What if there are humans that are able to bond with Kaiju blue?!”

“Oh, alright,” Montia sighed with relief, “I was worried you wouldn’t want to see them. There’s been talk around the dome –“

“What sort of talk?” Newt asked.

“Oh, it’s nothing, just some stuff about you having an existential crisis, I’m sure everyone was exaggerating.”

“Uh, it’s kind of true, but it’s super, secret private stuff and I don’t like to talk about my problems but this is enough to take my mind off my own shitty life. Let’s get going!”

Newton was having a couple of down days. He was actively trying to avoid Hermann while pretending that he wasn’t avoiding Hermann. He was busy with his dad anyways, and trying to find a flight to get him on a flight home, and also trying to explain that the reason he was kidnapped by his lab partner’s friends was because they were understandably mad with what was done to him.

Also Adrian was kind of mad with him and wasn’t talking to him for the time being.

So anything that could pick his brain was a god send. 

\---

They weren’t what he expected. They were described as being unresponsive, but when he walked in, they perked up right away. He talked to them as he worked, going through everything the doctors had doubtlessly had already done before. He examined their heartbeat, which was reassuring that they had one, and felt around there stomach to get a feel for any organs. When Newton got to the area that genitalia would normally be found, he was blabbering about genders and gender roles and they finally spoke.

“What’s a gender?” 

Their voice didn’t seem masculine or feminine, so it was still a toss-up for what their sex might be. Or it was neither. Or both. Newton wasn’t a judgmental person.

“Oh, it how we’re able to differentiate the sex’s between a species. You’re humanoid, so we would expect that you would either have a set of female or male genitalia. You have neither. Not that you would be the first person to be in that situation. There are people who have both and neither. And there are some people who do have one or the other set but choose to be another gender. Or to be both genders, or gender fluid, or gender neutral. There are vast spectrums of what constitutes gender and sexualities. Some people would think it was quiet confusing actually,” Newt babbled.

The person asked, “So, what are you?”

“Well, I am a male. I have male genitalia and I identify as a male. So that means I’m cis. But I like other males and females, and sometimes I like people who identify as a different gender than what their sexual organs are. So I identify as pansexual. Is any of this making sense to you?”

“No.”

“Okay, I’ll stop talking then,” Newt picked up a flashlight to shine in their eyes, and the rings in their eyes remained still.

“I don’t mind you talking,” the person said, “I like hearing people talk.”

“Okay then,” Newt said, “But I think I’ve done enough talking. Why don’t you talk some? Tell me about yourself. What’s your name?”

“I know what it is,” the person said, “But I don’t think I can pronounce it in this body.”

“So, you’re saying that this body isn’t yours?”

“It was made for me, but it’s not mine,” they answered, “I have a feeling that I know more, but I can’t answer what that may be. It’s very quiet.”

“In here?” Newt gestured around the room.

“No, in here,” they pointed at their own forehead.

“How did you know Chuck Hansen was in the pod?” Newt asked.

“Was that the thing inside the case?” they asked, “I could feel it alive in there. It was there, where I came from. One day it was there, in the verse, and when they sent me out they told me to bring it back with me.”

“You probably saved his life. How were you able to keep him alive for so long?”

“It was only with me for a few hours,” They answered, “Was it longer here?”

“It’s been months actually,” Newt answered, “So, you’re from the anteverse,” Newt slid the suggestion in.

“Is that what you call it?” They said.

“Yeah, that’s how I heard it, when I –“ Newt cut himself short. If they were from the anteverse, there might be a chance they didn’t know who he was.

“Of course I know who you are,” They said, “Why else would I talk to you little one?”

“Oh, so you know?”

“We all know you,” They said, “You looked in and they were very mad about that. That’s why they sent our sister after you, even though she was heavy.”

Newt sputtered, immediately wanting to get out of that room at breakneck speed, but moved to change the subject, “So you do have, uh, concepts of gender, where you’re from.”

“I chose a word that would be easier to understand. She is also my brother, but I thought you wouldn’t understand it if I tried explaining it my way.”

“So, um, what would you like me to call you? It must be annoying for you that everyone is calling you them or they. Even though those are perfectly legitimate pronouns.”

“One of your people that pulled me out of the water, the one that listened to me. I heard someone call them Freddie, you can call me that, if you wish.”

“Uh, okay. And um, do you have a preferred gender, or something? A pronoun?”

The newly christened Freddie pondered this, then said, “You mentioned before about people who choose to be neither genders. What words do they use?”

“Well, um,” Newt said, “Some people prefer a lot of different pronouns. Like Ze and mer, or Ey, em, and eirs.”

“That one,” they said, “I like the ey, em one.” Ey said.

\---

“So?” Montia asked once Newt left the room, and there were several other people outside with him, along with Herc.

“None of you are going to like this,” Newt told them, “But I think there’s a Kaiju in a human clone suit sitting in there,” he said this a little hysterically and then fell back against the wall next to the door, “Oh my god I think I’m having a panic attack.”


	15. Then I come Home

For days, no one dared approached Freddie’s room in the medical center. E made no sound, made no indication of movement, no gesture that Ey wished to be moved from the room, or to leave. Newt didn’t attempt to see Ey again, and pretended that Ey wasn’t there at all. Ey was just as complacent as Ey was in the beginning, sitting silently as nervous doctors poked and prodded at her. After a while, the doctors stopped going to er room and spent more time tending to Chuck, who was still unconscious.

For the most part, nothing changed inside the LOCCENT, including Newton’s problems and Hermann’s avoidance. Newt hated pretending that everything was alright, and Hermann was avoiding him out of guilt, most likely, so most days Newt spent with the Gang, who were smuggled into the base and kept hidden in various empty rooms near Newt’s quarters and the lab.

They weren’t active much days either. Newt suspected that they were still shaken by their encounter with Hannibal Chau, and the realization that if they were caught they would be asked to leave, and they were determined not to leave Newton behind. And none of them could figure out what to do next.

Hannibal’s plan was a bust, and none of them, including Newt, were allowed to see Adrian while she was holed up in her makeshift cell. Herc didn’t seem to care what happened to her or what she did, possibly because his attention was focused completely on his son, that she simply loafed around and whined about having at least a cell phone with Wi-Fi in order to entertain herself, but no one was stupid enough to grant her wish. 

So even with all the excitement that had occurred over the last few weeks, things were already back to normal and boring. Newt was stewing in his room, waiting for the next exciting twist in his life to appear.

\---

Newton was asleep in his room, a first for several days, when he heard his door open.

He blinked wearily, looking around his room, when he saw the two bright blue lights staring at him from the darkness.  
“What are you-“ he slurred, grabbing his glasses from the nightstand, “Why’re you in my room? Freddie? Is tha you?”

He was met with Silence, but he knew it was em. Ey didn’t speak, but he could see the darkness around er eyes, and he felt very small. And incredibly terrified.

“Freddie?”

Ey touched his forehead, and whispered something to him that he couldn’t understand, but immediately he felt sucked in to er thoughts. He could see everything, and nothing, thoughts clouded in blue and cold, and darkness, could feel the sting of icy waters and the smooth rubber underneath his fingers. He could feel being small and alone, silence around him deafening, of cowering in the dark, thunderous steps in the distance, getting closer and closer, roars and shrieks in the air, yarn in between fingers and kneading into a girl’s soft thighs, kisses and screams in the dark, so much pain, so much blood in his throat, he could see it all, he could see himself, he could see Charlie curled up and crying alone, piss warm and clinging in between his legs, he could feel the Precursors looking in, watching him analyzing him looking at him looking at them looking at Charlie stop don’t look at him stop stop stop stop-

Newton could feel himself slipping away, and he tried to hold on, but he felt like his entire being was being ripped away from him, and he was tumbling back into the darkness and he was trapped and alone, in a place where he couldn’t wake up but he also couldn’t find sleep.

The last thing he remembers is Freddie’s sweet voice, almost apologetic, “We don’t need you anymore.”

\---

Herc stumbled into Hermann’s room at the crack of dawn, gasping before Hermann could react, “The thing –the Kaiju –it’s gone. Took off sometime last night. Get up, we’re going to get Geiszler.” 

It only took Hermann about five minutes to put on slacks and a sweater while they made their way to Newt’s room. Herc banged twice, knowing out of habit that Newton was one of the only people in the LOCCENT who locked their door. After there was no response, Herc dug out one of his skeleton keys in his jacket pocket to make his way in. Newton was lying in bed, tossing and turning in his sleep, brows furrowed, obviously in his distress, whatever he was dreaming about, so Hermann shook him awake.

But when Newton opened his eyes, he doesn’t know how he knew, but the person behind those eyes wasn’t Newt. He didn’t know who he was.

The man wearing Newton’s face let out a god awful shriek that practically shattered Hermann’s eardrums, and the man kept screaming and screaming, a god-awful screech that bounced off the walls and ended with a high pitched whine. The man jumped up out of the bed, like a hyperactive child, almost tripping off the bed and collided with the opposite wall, clutching at thin air.

“Dr. Geiszler!” Herc shouted, but his mouth fell open, speechless at Newton’s reaction, who was babbling like the devil was after him.

“Who- who?” The man babbled, and Hermann wanted to go to him, but he felt himself back away from him, he felt too much like he was cornering an injured animal.  
“Who –who are you? Where? Where am I? Oh god, you guys haven’t been doing like –weird shit with my brain have you? That is NOT COOL I don’t like it when people try to MESS WITH ME. Why are you guys in my apartment? FRANK!? Where’s the piss jar? Where’s-? I?”

The man continued to babble, and Hermann knew with certainty, Newton was gone.

The man standing before him was undoubtedly Charlie Kelly.


	16. You remind me of someone I forgot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermann observes the differences between Charlie and Newton

The evidence of what had been done to Charlie Kelly was an unmoving and unforgettable force. If Newton was a storm, Charlie was a hurricane, if Newton was aggravating, Charlie was psychotic. He was a man that would destroy anything and everything in his path, who would tear people apart and scream until he was heard, Charlie Kelly was a force of nature that was brought to his knees and silenced.

This fact stared at Hermann with wide eyes and an unwavering gaze, curious and confused, and for the first time in a long time Hermann just wished this man would go away and leave him alone.

Hermann knew what had been done to Newton, saw the videos, read the files, heard the tapes, watched Newton break down and fall apart while trying to hold the pieces of himself together, he held Newton while he cried, heard Charlie scream, but the immeasurable damage that had been done was never as concrete as it was now. Newton was messy, but Charlie was the definition of human garbage. In a matter of days, the slight smell of disinfectant and chemical cleaner, along with faint soap, that always permeated from Newton’s skin, was replaced by a horrendous smell. Charlie didn’t see the point in cleaning himself, was perfectly comfortable with the stink of his sweat and dirt on his skin.

He stopped shaving, and the rugged five o’clock shadow soon grew into a full beard. The hair that Newton jelled and styled meticulously for his rock star coif was now swept in crazy spikes, mostly from Charlie screaming and pulling at it whenever he got frustrated. Which was often, since he was moved into the medical wing and always found a reason to be displeased about it, rambling and shouting about the doctors or the nurses. The only people that could placate him was the Gang, who were finally allowed to remain in the Shatterdome. Herc was finally swayed when they saw Charlie again, the first time for real at last, and Mac promptly burst into tears. And then Charlie cried, and everyone was yelling at each other and no one wanted to argue with two crying adults who babbled incoherently to whoever would listen. 

Hermann played it on in his mind, over and over, when Newton opened his eyes for the final time and Charlie looked up at him, the eyes of an angry and confused animal, and when he screamed at the both of them, it took Herc and Hermann hours to finally calm him down, and no matter how many times Hermann wanted to stop, even with Charlie calling him a crazy gimpy cripple the entire time, he continued to offer comfort to the deranged man. 

Who was now looking about Newton’s old room at that moment.

“So this dude right, the one that was me but like a weird science version of me, this was his digs right?” Charlie asked, hands in his pockets from a sweat jacket he borrowed from one of the doctors. It was red and made him look pale and terribly peaky. He avoided touching anything or bumping into any of the furniture in the room. He spared a glance at one of the posters in the room that featured a Kaiju and a Jaeger locked in battle.

“That’s correct,” Hermann told him, standing next to Herc who was supervising Charlie.

“And he was like really smart right? Like he read books and stuff, and did cool experiments and all the crazy stuff? He was a big deal huh? Nobody- nobody telling him what to do right?” Charlie practically panted the last sentence out, mouth quivering.

“Everyone certainly tried,” Hermann answered, his mind flashing back to the videos. Of a young man tired of people telling him what to do.

“I wish, I wish I remembered all this junk man, uh, Mr. Scientist guy,” Charlie smiled, eyes crinkling, “I bet it was really great, you know, working and doing smart stuff, and doing science, did I do cool stuff? Like in the movies like all that stuff the Reanimater did? Could he make zombies and stuff?” Charlie laughed.

Herc gave a sideways glance, and Hermann cleared his throat, and smiled lightly, “No, nothing to do with zombies, but you did experiment on monsters. Aliens from another dimension, they came from a rift at the bottom of the ocean.” It felt strange saying it, but it was nothing less than the truth.

Charlie laughed, shaking his head, “Man, don’t mess with me. Dennis was telling me the same thing, but I’m not that stupid.”

Herc coughed, giving a tilted look at the door, and Hermann nodded, “Charlie, would you like to see what your lab?”

\---

Charlie resembled a child when they walked into the hanger and saw the remade Gypsy Danger. They never told Charlie’s friends when they first arrived, but the mech was entirely hollow, made for pure aesthetics for the public to observe. There was plans to make entire museums dedicated to everyone who gave their lives to the Kaiju war, with exhibits on Hermann’s work on the first Mark 1’s, and Newton’s specimens and his drifting machine made out of garbage. It was something Newton was incredibly excited about. But not anymore. Not ever, Hermann thought to himself.

“This is like, three times the size of my apartment building!” Charlie shouted, jumping up and flailing around, “Or maybe ten times! I don’t know! It’s big!” Charlie whooped, “That’s crazy man! Entirely crazy! Hey? You think you can like walk around the world in this thing in like an hour? I bet you can!”

“It would probably take you a little longer than that,” Hermann said, and Charlie whirled around to look at him again, “You think so? I don’t know man, it’s pretty big. I bet you can stamp out lots of stuff with it. Like, squash stuff flat. So did we squash the monsters flat? That’s what these are for right? The monsters couldn’t stand a fuckin chance man, robots are so cool. My friend Mac had this robot when we were kids, it was basically the smartest thing ever, but it wasn’t anything like this.”

“I can imagine,” Hermann smirked, “There’s nothing in the world that is quite like this.”

Hermann looked up at the Mark 3, a smile on his face, couldn’t help but be proud of his life’s work.

“Oh man,” Charlie said, “I know that look, Mac gets that look when he looks at his Project Badass videos. You made this,” Charlie looked away from Hermann to look at replica of Gypsy Danger, “Wow, you’re like a super scientist. You must be really super smart. I bet you were smarter than me. Building stuff is so cool. You’re so cool,” Charlie beamed at him. His friends didn’t give him enough credit. Charlie was a lot more insightful and intelligent than they pegged him as. 

“I did make this,” Hermann answered, “I helped code a lot more like it. The Jaegers are my life’s work. I’m proud of each and every one of them. They helped save lives. Many men and women died doing just that.”

“Cool,” Charlie repeated, “I never knew anyone who was a hero before.”

“Don’t forget Charlie,” Hermann told him, “You’re a hero too.”

\---

“Is there any news about the human Kaiju?” Herc asked while he walked into the LOCCENT. Since the former Dr. Geiszler frantically theorized that the persons identified as ‘Freddie,’ the Shatterdome was back in full swing until all loose ends were tied. At the moment, those loose ends included the escapee and Newton’s transformation into an imbecile. 

“We got local police giving us the cooperation we need, everything from street cameras and security cams, we’ll find her,” one of the technicians said, “Or him. Whatever. It.”

“Please refer to the person of interest as the human Kaiju or Freddie, we don’t have time to be bickering about their gender,” Herc said, “Right now all I care about is where they’re at, so we can figure out exactly why my head of the biology department is a stuttering moron.”

“Freddie couldn’t have gotten far,” Tendo said, “The Kaiju came out of the water naked and stunned. Um, I’m just going to go ahead and call her a she. She just looks female to me,” and Herc cleared his throat, and Tendo continued, “She has nobody to turn to and no money. She’s running around on foot. Like I said. She couldn’t have gone far.”

“Alright,” Herc nodded, “Meanwhile, I want all the man power we have to put up road blocks on the city limits, and to monitor the coast. The Kaiju isn’t living the city, not on foot and not in the water.”

“I brought in the local psychologist you asked for sir,” another technician ran in, “She speaks English, a Dr. Chueng. She’s prepped and ready to see Dr. Geiszler and examine his current status.”

“Alright, get her down to the lab. Make sure none of Geiszler’s friends are near him when she arrives. I don’t know them, I don’t like them, so I don’t want them sleazing around my scientists when all this shit is going on.”

“Yes sir,” he said.

“Sir,” Tendo spoke, “We found her. Freddie. She’s down by the Fisherman’s Wharf. Out in broad daylight, just wandering about. You want me to send down a car to go pick her up?”

“Send several, and make sure our guys are armed.”

“She’s one person,” Tendo said, “What can she do?”

“Why don’t you go down to the K-Science Labs and ask Geiszler?” Herc replied.

\---

Charlie loved the Kaiju guts just as much as Newton did. Too much in fact, Hermann had to stop him before he attempted to pick up the organs with his bare hands.

“That’s EXTREMELY toxic to the human skin. You’ll get infected and kill yourself,” Hermann tugged him back.

“Oh whatever man. That’s exactly like when people say that if you don’t wash your hands you’ll get the flu. I’ve like never been sick in my life. Well, one time I thought I had cancer, but that was to make Mary feel sorry for me.”

“Mary?” Hermann asked, never once hearing that name uttered from Newton’s mouth.

“Oh yeah, Mary, she’s like the love of my life. And like, I know that one day, as long as she gives me a chance, we’re totally going to be together forever. I mean, she slept with Dennis, and he didn’t even know her name,” Charlie grinned.

“Oh,” Hermann said, feeling a thick wave of jealousy wash over him. That’s right. Newton mentioned being in love with ‘the Waitress’ but expressing sadness that he had forgotten her name. But of course Charlie would remember her. Of course he would. She was probably beautiful, obviously, she was the love of his life. Why would he remember Hermann?

Hermann berated himself for the shock of pain that went through him. Charlie wasn’t Newton. Newton was gone, they were essentially two different people sharing the same body. Newton wasn’t here anymore. Newton wasn’t going to come back. 

“Dude, are you crying? What's wrong?” Charlie asked, his face falling.

“It’s nothing Charlie. It’s nothing.” Hermann shook his head.

“Man, if feels weird, you saying my first name,” Charlie said, “I don’t know why, but that doesn’t feel right. Everyone calls me Charlie, but like, I don’t know, you don’t seem like the type of guy who would, do you know what I’m saying?”

There was his insight again, and Hermann wiped at his tears, but they kept falling.

“It’s nothing, I just lost someone very close to me, is all,” Hermann rushed to say.

“Ah, it’s okay. I get it man. Like, maybe not really, cause I never knew someone who had died, except Dennis and Dee’s mom and their pop pop, but I didn’t know them well, but I know losing people really sucks, huh?” Charlie said.

“Yes Charlie,” Hermann agreed, “It really does suck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I named the Waitress Mary because that's the name of the Actress who plays her, who happens to be married to Charlie Day, and that's cute as heckies


	17. Should have lied about it All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie understands a little more about what had happened in his absence, and something is not what it appears to be.

If it wasn’t foreboding enough, they found Freddie in the rain. The human Kaiju had been hiding underneath the pier in the wharf, the short hair plastered to a pale face, with pieces of dirt and seaweed stuck fast on the skin. In the water, Freddie resembled a crustacean, even more so surrounded by beams of barnacles and muscles. Freddie stared blankly at them, digging his fingers into the rotting beams, barnacles cracking underneath the hands. She bit her lip hard enough to bleed, the fingernails on her hand snapping and breaking, but she didn’t resist. Freddie allowed himself to be taken away, up and out of the water, still staring blankly, as if thinking about something. Something that she had found in the rain.

\---

When Hermann woke up that morning, he was greeted by a very welcoming sight.

“Mornin’ Herms,” Newton said, pulling on a t-shirt while sitting on the bed. Hermann could still see the bright stripe of tattoos that decorated Newton’s back, and he put his hand on the small dip of flesh.

“G’morning,” Hermann half whispered, then leaned up so he could kiss the back of Newton’s neck, who pushed up into his hand in response.

“You’re in a good mood,” Newton half laughed, “You’ve been having nice dreams?”

“Nothing of the sort,” Hermann responded, but didn’t deter from the attention he was focusing on Newton’s neck, as he had now moved on to pressing open mouthed kisses against the barest hint of shoulder.

“Mmmhmmm?” Newton said, “So what sort of dreams have you been having?” he asked, but Hermann wrapped a hand around his waist and pulled him back, “Do be quiet Dr. Geiszler,” Hermann murmured.

“Are we playing those sorts of games now?” Newton turned around to face Hermann, and he kissed his neck cheekily before mumbling, “Oh Dr. Gottlieb, I’ve been feeling an aching pain in my lower extremities, is there ANYTHING you can do to help?”

Hermann snorted at Newton’s attempt at playing, but he pressed one hand hard underneath Newton’s belly button, and he hissed, “What would you like me to do about it?”

“Take away the ache,” Newton pressed into the hand and dragged his teeth underneath Hermann’s chin, “Hmmmm….ohhhh Dr. Gottlieb, please fill me up.”

Hermann worked like a man possessed, taking Newton’s shirt off and pressing his hips upward. God, how did he go so long without feeling this? Newton was moaning freely now, rubbing himself against Hermann. He felt so good, it felt like any minute now he would burst –

The alarm next to Hermann’s bed blared and forced Hermann into consciousness, and he jolted awake, looking wildly around the room. Newton was nowhere to be found, of course, he was gone. Charlie wasn’t there either, he was staying in another room with his disgusting friends, curled up against the horrible man he believed to be his father. 

It was then that Hermann realized he had other problems, but the thought of Charlie in Newt’s body, slowly destroying it with his bad habits and his disgusting odor, who hated the sight of Newton’s tattoos that littered his body, immediately destroyed it. He groaned while got out of bed to get dressed, putting on his least favorite cardigan, an awful green color that Newton loved, and made for the door.

To his surprise, Charlie was standing outside, seemingly waiting for him. The red sweater was rolled up to his elbows, and he was scratching incessantly at the tattoos. When Charlie first became aware of them, he screamed his head off and tried to pull the images off his skin with his bare hands. The sight of the Kaiju terrified him, and brought on talks of monsters and night men that crawled into your window, and Hermann shoved away the knowledge of what might have been the young man’s past. A past with a neglectful mother and a too interested uncle.

The scratching raised red lines over the tattoos, but Charlie did his best not to look at them, and he silently stared at Hermann, clearly waiting for him to start the conversation.

“Charlie, can I help you?”

“I’m leaving to Philadelphia tomorrow,” he said, and Hermann stilled, heart stopping in his chest.

“You are?” he dared himself to ask.

“The Gang asked me, they said there’s no reason for me to be here anymore, now that they got me back,” Charlie said, “They told me not to tell anyone, but I thought you should know.”

“Are you sure that’s what you should do?” Hermann said, “You know that you’re welcome here, this has been your home for almost ten years, even if you don’t remember it.”

“Well, yeah, maybe, but I’m kind of, well, I’m stupid again, and I’ll just start causing problems, cause that’s all I do.”

“This base is filled with men and women who averted the apocalypse,” Hermann countered, “I’m sure they’re equipped to handle a force such as you.”

“But I’m not useful anymore,” Charlie explained, “Dennis said, that, the reason I can’t remember stuff is cause they put like medicine and stuff so I could be really smart and be useful, but now the pills are gone and I’m not needed here anymore.”

“That’s not true,” Hermann lied through his teeth, desperate. Charlie couldn’t leave. There was a chance that Newton was still there somewhere. If he tried hard enough, if he believed hard enough, Charlie could go away and Newton could come back, and then things would be the way they should be, he just needed more time, “You saved the world. There is not a soul that doesn’t want you here.”

“I can’t even READ,” Charlie spoke, a little shaken, “I’m an idiot, I know I’m an idiot. It’d just be best if I was an idiot where no one can get hurt. Except for the gang, they deserve to get hurt sometimes. And besides, I like, miss Mary. What if she gave up on me after all this time? I have to go back to her and tell her I love her.”

“Please don’t do this Charlie,” Hermann grasped the wrist that was scratching at his tattoos, “Don’t go. Stay here. We’ll figure this out. We’ll figure out who did this to you.”

“What does it matter?” Charlie muttered, “It was a good thing right? I mean, sure, I like, lost a lot of my life, but I saved people, didn’t I? Wasn’t it worth it?”

“No,” Hermann, gripped his wrist harder, “No, blast it all, I would have faced the dreaded Kaiju ALONE if it meant I was spared this,” and Charlie tried to pull his hand free.

“What are you even saying man? Let go, you’re hurting me –“

“This isn’t fair,” Hermann spoke, but to himself, “You weren’t even real, you were just a cocked experiment, and I get left HERE? This isn’t fair. Everything has been taken from me, I don’t want to be denied this –“

“You’re –Mr. Scientist, you’re really confusing,” Charlie half whimpered.

“I loved him,” Hermann grasped Charlie’s shoulders, “He was brilliant, loud, infuriating, and so damn obnoxious, and I loved him, give him back, please don’t do this,” and with that, fueled by the fear of losing Newton forever and the desire towards the ghost in his dreams, Hermann brought Charlie close and kissed him, hard, as if he was trying to push Charlie back and pull Newton in.

The kiss didn’t last long, Charlie beat him away, limbs crashing everywhere, and when he finally broke free he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as if a dog just slobbered on him, disgusted, “I’m not gay! Dude, that was gross! If you do that again I’ll –I’ll punch your face in!” He backed away, “Dude, gross, don’t touch me,” and he scurried away, out of Hermann’s reach and out the hall.

Which left Hermann alone, leaning against the wall, thoughts on what he had done to himself.

In his ignorance he had created the love of his life. In his ignorance that rat stole him away.

\---

Freddie wailed low and loud, like a siren blaring a warning, while he crossed the threshold, legs slack under her as she was carried, dragged back into the Shatterdome.

At that moment, Charlie was walking across the hall, away from Hermann, when she was dragged in front of him. His eyes flared, wide and pale, and she opened her mouth and laughed. The inside of her mouth was gaping and hollow, like a black hole with teeth, and it was both terrifying and beautiful. Freddie chirped and squealed, a cruel look displaying across his features.

“When the time comes, you’ll know it to be your fault,” Freddie trilled, causing Charlie to run faster than before. The sooner he was back in Philly, the better. Bad things always happened when he left. One of those things being him banging a dude while he was smart. Well, Scientist dude never said they banged, but proclamations of love was almost a guarantee of past banging. After all, all the women Dennis banged had loved him, even though he never loved them back. Charlie was sure Dennis didn’t feel things like that, but Dennis was smarter than him, so it probably made more sense in his head.

Charlie would just be happy to get back to Mary, hoping that he didn’t miss too much of her life while he was gone. He needed to work fast if he wanted his dreams to come true, which would be marrying her and having lots of babies from the baby store, and living a long and happy life with her, and raising their babies to be janitors and waitresses. It would be perfect. But he needed to get back home, and he was counting the seconds til it happened.

\---

In the Medical wing, while machines whirred and beeped in a silent, dark room, Chuck Hansen opened his eyes.

They were a startling bright blue.  
\---

And in the deep, something else began to stir, something lying in wait, joints stiff and sore, and it ached to spread out, to move, to rise up.

While the noise through the void breaks, a body bobs up above, red hair fanning out in all directions, and laughter pierces through the ocean waves.

Just a little longer. Just a little longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update before I leave for the weekend. I'm going to ALA! I'm going to be rocking my Tendo Choi cosplay on Saturday, so for everyone that wants to punch me in the face for this sad update, that's where I'll be. You just have to get through my friend as Kigu! Kaiju Hannibal. But I'll definitely hug you as long as you don't hurt me.


	18. I am Death, destroyer of Worlds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrian gets an unexpected visitor.

The walls around Adrian’s room was slowly starting to drive her crazy. It wasn’t liked they didn’t let her move around Medical every once in a while, because as they loved to state so preciously, she wasn’t a prisoner and that her protection is what they had in mind. No one wanted to be on Hannibal Chau’s bad side, but Adrian still wasn’t too keen on being kept locked up like a prized bird. She had the means of making herself disappear forever, funds that she had set aside when she first started to work for Chau, stockpiling her paychecks and only taking what she needed. She had enough to live a nice squishy life away from every single human being on the planet, but instead she was being cooped up like a particularly naughty dog. 

In any case, she really hoped that soon the PPDC would get their heads out of their asses and get her out of there, or at least have someone visit her to keep her company. It’s not like monsters weren’t rising out of the ocean anymore, why was everyone still so goddamned busy? But of course, in the middle of these thoughts, the walls began to quake. 

It was very subtle at first, but then the shakes began to grow, trembling in frequency, getting harder and louder, her entire floor began to move. Adrian gripped onto her bedframe, anchoring herself, and that’s when she heard it. An awful sound, like the trill of a thousand sirens blaring, a shriek that pierced the sky. An angered roar that threatened to crumble the sky. Her room began to vibrate now, the tremors growing deeper, until she was practically bouncing off the floor, and then –

Adrian’s room caved in, one side of the wall completely ripped away, and she screamed, shrilly, clutching on to her bed and screamed and screamed. She hid her face in her arms, pressing her entire weight between her bed and her wall, her shrieks of terror bouncing off the walls, tears streaming down her cheeks, heart pounding. She couldn’t recall a time she was more afraid.

And that’s when she saw the eye peering in at her. It was probably twice as big as her head alone, and it was a deep brown. The pupils dilated when it saw her, moving away from the torn away wall, and she could see the scales in great detail, coppery red skin and flecks of gold. From the little that she could see, it was awful and terrible all at once. The face moved further away, and she instantly spotted small white hands clutching at the floor underneath her feet. The hands hoisted themselves and a girl with a large smile on her face peered up at her. She had short read hair and black smudging around her eyes. She was also completely naked, and Adrian could plainly see that she had no breasts nor vulva. She reminded her of those Ken dolls when she was young. It looked like her body was smoothed over in plastic, with more black splotches decorating her skin.

The girl said nothing, or perhaps it was a boy, Adrian wasn’t sure anymore, looked past her and scanned the room. She released an unintelligible growl, and the beast moved close and opened its jaws, and the girls turned and willingly walked in, letting herself be trapped in that giant maw.

\---

“Charlie! Come on!” Dee snapped, “You’re holding us all up, grab your bags and let’s go.”

They were in line at the terminal that the PPDC had sent them too, where a small helicopter would fly back to the states, and from there, a chartered bus that would cart them all the way back to Philadelphia, where no doubt the people were still celebrating in the streets for the end of the Kaiju war. Charlie was excited. He was going back home, and he was going to drink for a week until he passed out and then drink some more. The PPDC or whatever was compensating him a lot of money for his part in the saving of the world thing and the first thing he was going to do was buy a really nice house for the whole gang to live in. It was going to be huge, he imagined to himself. Everyone would have their own little section of his house and they would never have to work at Paddy’s Pub again, unless they wanted to, for fun. And then he’d get the Waitress to move in with him and they’d go to the baby store and make lots of babies, but not before going to the marriage store. After all, after ten years, or actually twenty, now that he thought of it, it was time to make an honest woman out of her. It would be perfect. Being smart paid off for everyone in the end, as far as Charlie could tell.

Well, except for the scientist guy. Like, even though Mac talked about this stuff a lot, Charlie didn’t really have anything against gay folks, and sure, once he even got straight married to Frank, but Charlie loved the Waitress, and scientist dude, was well, a dude. Even though he seemed really broken up about what had happened. Smart Charlie must have made quite the impression on scientist dude to make him fall in love with him. They must have been really good friends when he was smart. Charlie wondered about the kinds of things they might have talked about. Science stuff probably. And monsters, cause that’s what their job was, wasn’t it? He wondered how gay kissing got involved, but as Charlie liked to tote, he was a pretty sweet deal. He couldn’t see why anyone would be able to resist his charms. He was a pretty sexy guy to be honest. 

Well, except he wasn’t, not really. At least from what Mac says, and Dennis, and they’re usually right. He was too big in the middle and he smelled really bad. He had too many freckles and wrinkles around his eyes, and his beard was a little gross. Dee did say once that she did like his hair, but expressed regret that he didn’t know how to style it. Did he make a hot gay dude? Was that it? Maybe that’s why he never caught Mary’s interest. He had the wrong style. And he smelled bad. He’d work on making himself more attractive to ladies when he got back home. But now, like Sweet Dee said, he needed to get a move on and go.

Once they reached the copter, they were walking up the steps to board it, when an important looking lady in a suit ran up to them.

“Change of plans,” she squawked at the pilot, “There’s a Kaiju sighting at the Shatterdome. No one is flying anywhere,” and she handed a small radio to him. As he talked into the walkie, the gang turned to look at each other.

“Are they serious?” Dennis scoffed.

“Today of all days?” Mac whined, “Damnit Charlie, why couldn’t you get your memories back faster? We could have been in Philly yesterday!”

“How about a better idea?” Dee yelled, “Maybe next time, they wouldn’t have left the fate of the Kaiju war in the hands of a five year old man child.”

“Dudes –“ Charlie piped in, but was interrupted by Dennis, “You always have to make everything worse, don’t you Charlie?”

“That’s enough,” interjected Frank, “here you are, bickering amongst yourselves, when there are people possibly dying at the base. And all the military has is bombs and bullets. Their ain’t no more robots left you idiots!”

“Frank!” Charlie interrupted, “You don’t think that they’re actually being killed, do you?”

“Charlie,” Frank scolded, “They’re basically sitting ducks. I wouldn’t be surprised if the monsters didn’t tear the place apart.”

“But –“ Charlie gasped, but was cut off by the important looking lady again, “We’ve been instructed to take you to a shelter,” she told them, “So this air base’s bunker will have to do. Follow me,” and she marched them off the copter and back to the terminal.

Charlie wondered if maybe the scientist was alright. He scratched at the ink on his arms. He really hated them when he first saw them, but the hatred was more apparent even now.

Smart him was supposed to fix this. Did he screw up again? Was science guy going to die because of him? Thinking about this kind of thing made his head hurt, so Charlie stopped thinking completely.

\---

Hermann was in his lab, scared out of his mind. In the darkness of the room, he felt truly and utterly alone. He could see the faint glow of Newt’s lab specimens in the room, his only source of light now, and held back the tears that began to form in his eyes. He might die here. It was very possible. The probability of it happening was very high. He might die in this place. His home, his life, the room he might as well fell in love with Newton in. Except Newton was gone. Charlie was gone. Safe and sound in a carrier back to his home, away from here. He’d be happy, and he’d live a long happy life, Hermann prayed. He hadn’t prayed since he was a young boy, but he clasped his hands around his cane and prayed then. He called out to god and prayed he would not die here alone, without Newton by his side. He prayed that Charlie was safe, happy, warm and content. He prayed that someone would help save the world again, in case he died here, with Newton gone. He prayed for someone to save them all, to save Charlie. He prayed so hard that his eyes started to hurt from how hard he clenched them, and that his entire person started to shake. He would not cry. He refused, he wouldn’t give the beast the satisfaction.

He heard the doors to the lab slam open, and there stood tall and imposing Freddie, sweater too big for her and angular features twisted up in a sneer. He walked over to him from where he was hiding from under his desk, and spoke. The one other person he had been willing to speak to was Newton, so Hermann was ready for what she had to say.

“Do you see now?” she said, bright blue eyes piercing through the darkness, smile wide, “You didn’t defeat them,” he whispered, voice dangerous and low, “You only impressed them.”

Hermann’s mind scrambled for a face to put to her words, the them that he was talking about. It could only be the Precursors, as Newton called them, but in his mind, their part was played out to them more clearly in the hive mind. They were the Masters, the Engineers, the Destroyers. They were parasites and the Kaiju were the viruses. Freddie, in his simplistic form, was a dangerous individual, Hermann couldn’t understand how no one saw it before. Her coming marked the second start of the war, a terrible omen upon humanity.

“Why?” Hermann gasped. Why are you telling me this? Why haven’t you killed me? Why are you doing this? Why do you want so much? Why? Tell me why.

She nodded, as if she heard him, and leaned in close as if imparting a great and horrible secret.

“Help me,” she said, but for some reason, this statement didn’t seem like an offer. It resonated as something a terrified creature would say. A plea. A grasp for hope.

“How?” Hermann asked.

Freddie said nothing, only nudging at him through her mind, a hint, the face of Newton, the face of Charlie, and the face of someone else. Someone he had never seen before. But he knew all at once what it meant. And then Freddie backed away, turned around, and walked out of the K-Science lab. 

And all at once, the shaking stopped.

\---

“My son is gone,” Hercules Hansen snarled low under his breathe, when everyone gathered in the LOCCENT, all shaken, some injured, but luckily, and strangely enough, no one had perished under the attack. The Kaiju, which seemingly popped out of nowhere, retreated almost as fast as it had arrived. Tendo Choi had already named the intruder, codename Kamodo, and he seemed to vanish without a trace, along with Chuck Hansen, who disappeared from his bed in medical. 

“Someone came and took me son,” Herc growled, “So what’s going to happen is that everyone is going to figure out what the fuck just happened and then my son is going to be found. I don’t care how long it takes, I want him here and safe. Is everyone clear?”

There were no objections in the room, and that’s when Hermann burst in, still visibly shaken and twitching, cane seemingly forgotten.

“Dr. Gottleib,” Herc said, but Hermann blurted, “She’s a clone.”

“What?” Herc asked, eyebrows raising, “We already know the Kaiju are clones.”

“No –no! No the infernal Kaiju, the girl –boy. The bloody person that washed up with your son. It’s a clone. The Masters figured out how to clone humans. She’s not a Kaiju, she’s a honest to god Pilot. They made him to be a pilot.”

“What are you on about Gottlieb?” Herc asked, “This is something Geiszler would come up with!”

“You don’t understand,” Hermann raved, “Freddie isn’t the only one they made. There are more. There was one here today, with the Kaiju. She –gott, she bloody showed me. Newton and me are still connected to the hivemind. They saw us just as much as we saw them. And they saw what was done to Newt. So they decided to do the same. They’re implanting Kaiju subconscious into human bodies to create pilots for the Kaiju. They’re turning Kaiju into Jaegers. We impressed them TOO MUCH,” Hermann shouted, “The Masters, they go from universe to universe, devouring everything and taking what they want. They took the Kaiju and used them for centuries as dogs. But we beat them, so now Kaiju are obsolete, and we’re they’re meal ticket. They’re going to take all they can from us to use as they please to devour more helpless planets. We gave them the idea. They saw it in Newton. They saw it in me.”

“Christ,” Herc pressed his hands to his face, “These fuckin aliens are creating more weapons against us and we have nothing.” Herc breathed deeply, falling into a nearby chair and shook.

“That is not true in the slightest,” Hermann spoke, “We might have more than you think.”

“How do you figure?”

“Freddie stopped the attack,” Hermann told him, “They could have easily torn the Shatterdome to shreds and they didn’t. He came to me and told me what the Masters were doing. My belief is that –“ Hermann sighed deeply, “Freddie does not want to be used in this way. Newton mentioned that she confessed that her mind was quieter in this form, that he is not connected to the hivemind as she was before. There is a chance she could break away. There is hope yet.”

“Okay,” Herc nodded, “Just, god,” he looked up at him, “Just tell me what to do.”

“First things first,” Hermann said, “We need Charlie back here. Now.


	19. By Jove

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie returns to the Shatterdome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long, but I'm back.
> 
> Surprise bitches. Bet you thought you've seen the last of me.

Charlie’s heart began to hammer in his chest. He was scared. Very scared. He couldn’t understand why, considering they were huddled in a shelter, and they were assured the Kaiju was nowhere near them. But he was still frightened out of his mind. He felt a surge of energy, like he needed to run. He wanted to run away as fast as he could. However, that was a stupid decision, and Dee was currently hooking her meat claw hands into his shoulder. Her demeanor was calm, but he could tell. She was scared too.

“Alright people,” the woman said, “I just got the order in. Pack it up. We’re going back to the Shatterdome.”

“Are you serious?” Mac whined, “We were almost out of here!”

“I’m just following orders folks,” she said, “Let’s move it on out.”

Charlie grabbed his small bag. It contained some clothes he found in the closet of his room. His smart side had some weird taste, but free clothes were free clothes. He also found the green shard Mary had given him too.

Everyone else grabbed their things, and followed the lady outside of the shelter.

\---

Adrian was out and about, finally, after her room was totally thrashed by a rampaging Kaiju. Commander Hansen had agreed to cut her loose as long as she worked alongside Doctor Gottlieb in the lab. The Kaiju were back, and they needed Jaegers.

Apparently, Hansen was exactly thrilled with having one of Chau’s lackey’s working with the PPDC, but everyone was in a panic, and she had somehow proven her worth to Hermann with her skill in computers.

She was down in the lab now, quiet as a mouse and furiously typing out the codes Gottlieb had given her, only stopping to take a sip of her tea she had nicked from the kitchens. 

 

Hermann was working behind her, abandoning his chalkboard to type out more codes alongside her. Every hour on the hour, they would switch to double check each other’s work. She knew they needed a whole team to do something like this, but for the moment, they were the best they had. 

Adrian didn’t want to talk about what she had seen, but she had a feeling that Hermann already knew about it, so he didn’t ask and she didn’t tell him, but the image of that girl stepping into the Kaiju’s mouth still resonated behind her eyes. 

Adrian didn’t know how it was possible, but the figure with the dark eyes seemed more threatening than the beast, and that was because there was a certainty that whoever it was, knew what they were doing. She had stared at them with fearful, begging eyes and they had acknowledged her dread. They knew her fear and that was possibly the worst thing about it all. 

After several hours of working, Adrian rubbed her eyes raw and made a break for the canteen, her stomach rumbling and her hands aching. Hermann watched her leave but was silent about it, either because he didn’t care or he didn’t know how to approach her. Adrian had taken a peak at Gottlieb’s files when she was working on Geiszler’s case, and she knew that they had worked alongside each other for almost ten years. That was a long time to work with someone, and it had probably ruined Hermann from working with anyone else as well as he worked with Geiszler. She had seen all the complaint and transfer requests, so she knew it wasn’t easy. But fighting was like drifting. And it was unlikely Gottlieb would ever work in tandem with another person ever again. So he said nothing and she said nothing and went to go grab another cup of coffee.

She saw and recognized Tendo there, eating a meal silently and knocking back coffee’s like they were shots. She greeted him very quickly, before muttering angrily, “I should have been home by now,” before getting up and walking away.

She didn’t know much about Tendo, but assumed that he did have a family to go back to. Unlike her. Not after San Diego. Not after Clawhook.

\---

Charlie was being shuffled back into the Shatterdome when he saw the girl with the pink hair again. Dennis had made a rude comment about her hair earlier, about how she was a dyke beacon and that if she went near Dee again he was going to shave off the rest of her hair, but he kind of liked it. It was long and looked soft. Her hair reminded him of cotton candy. She reminded him of cotton candy. She was a little shorter than him but she had a round face and a round everything, with dark skin and a round smile, she looked like a happy treat. Charlie liked her immediately. 

She didn’t look very happy to see him though.

“What the hell are you guys doing back here?” she asked, “I’d be long gone by now.”

The woman who was with them brushed her aside, “We got orders to bring this lot back,” she answered.

“What? Against their will or something? They’re brats from Philadelphia, what help are they going to be here?”

“We only need the little one,” she answered, “So might as well bring the rest of the group,”

The girl with the pink hair sniffed, before walking past them, shooting pitying looks at them all.

“If I were you, I’d have run as far away as I could,” she mumbled, just loud enough for Charlie to catch it, and then she was gone.

\---

They separated Charlie from the rest of the group and brought him to the LOCCENT, where Herc Hansen, Hermann, and Tendo were waiting for him. Various other members of the Shatterdome were walking around, ignoring him, but as soon as he called the threshold, Herc walked up to him and shook his hand, clapping him on his shoulder. 

“It was a mistake to try and send you away,” Herc said to a very confused Charlie, who simply nodded, “You asked me for help, and I didn’t listen to you, I’m not going to do it again.”

“Whatever man,” Charlie said to him, and for some reason, Herc flinched, like he had been hit. Hermann was looking at him like he hadn’t seen him in years, but Charlie kept his distance. He didn’t feel like being kissed again.

“Welcome back buddy,” Tendo said to him, nodding and putting his head set back on to continue his work. Hermann walked up to Charlie and touched his elbow softly, “Come, we have to talk.” 

Charlie didn’t feel like going with him, but the look Hermann gave him was so pitiful he went, and followed him back into the unfamiliar lab.

“So, um, Mr. Scientist,” Charlie began, but Hermann interrupted him, “I want to apologize to you Charlie, about –before.”

Charlie froze, like a deer in the headlights, and Hermann continued, “It was entirely inappropriate and I should not have done it. I know better than to engage myself like that, especially in the state you’re in. I took advantage and I’m so sorry. I promise to never conduct myself in the manner to you ever again.”

“I- dude, look, man, it’s okay. Like, I thought about it a lot, and man, it was my fault, totally my fault.”

“Charlie, what I did was certainly not your fault-“

“Nah, dude, it is, it is,” Charlie insisted, “See man, I’m not very smart, and I don’t feel right a lot of the time, like, okay, I do lots of strange things a lot, I admit that. I am really weird, and when I was smart, I was like, normal for once. And I really want to be normal. I don’t want to be so weird. I want to be happy, you know, and a lot of the times, when I’m sad, or bored, I just go and huff whatever I could find and killin all my brain cells and getting dumber, and man, I had a terrible time, my whole life, being weird and not normal, but when I was smart- man, I saved people’s lives dude. So like, maybe I was onto something with you, cause I was smart, and smart people are happy, cause they go out and figure out what makes them happy, and if I was hanging around you, when I was smart, I must have seen something in you. I think. Except like, I don’t want to do any kissing and stuff. Kissing is kind of gross.”

“I-“ Hermann opened his mouth, confused and speechless at Charlie’s tangent, which was half a babble, before closing his mouth and saying, “I promise there will be no kissing,” and Charlie smiled at him, bright and eyes crinkling.

“Okay! Great! So what do you need me for?” he asked.

Hermann nodded, before striding over to the abandoned part of the lab, where a large structure covered in a white sheet stood. Hermann whipped off the sheet and Charlie saw that it was a machine of some sort, attached to a computer and two helmets.

“We need to drift with the Kaiju again,” he told Charlie, “And we’re going to figure out how to beat the damn beasts for good this time.”

“Really?” Charlie exclaimed, “We’re going to fight some monsters? Are we going to save the world?”

“Yes,” Hermann smiled, before reaching out to shake Newt’s hand, who grasped it in turn.

“We’re going to own this thing for sure!” Charlie shouted, and Hermann’s heart plummeted in his chest.

Somehow, it felt like Newt was there, mocking him from the nothingness he found himself in.


	20. What's in the box?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter about something Charlie finds in his room

Dennis was beside himself. He couldn’t handle being moved so much in one day. He wanted to be back home, not thrown into an active volcano. That’s where he was. Those goddamn monsters attacked here once. It’s doubtless they’d be here again. This was all Charlie’s fault, of course. He could never do anything right, no matter how smart he thought he was.

The only consolation being that they were getting a room to themselves. Charlie moved into his ‘former’ room, as it was, so Dennis headed over there to go see him. Poor kid would probably open something he wasn’t supposed to and blow himself up. When he reached his door, Dennis heard Charlie shriek and he ran inside.

“Charlie-!” he exclaimed, before a cardboard box was thrown as his head. Dennis ducked in time and the box sailed by and hit the opposite wall.

“Get em out!” Charlie squealed, face pale and shaking.

“Charlie, what’s wrong-?” Dennis asked before he caught sight of what spilled from the box.

They were colorful, and phallic, and Dennis had seen them enough in various sex shops to know that they were Kaiju dildos. He never knew people actually BOUGHT them.

“What the fuck?!” Dennis yelled.

“Why were they in MY ROOM??” Charlie screamed.

“HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW?”

“What are you boners yelling about?!” Dee roared, stomping in, “Some of us would appreciate some GODDAMN-“ and her mouth fell open when she saw the scattered toys on the floor.

“Oh my god,” she gagged.

Charlie looked like he was going to cry, “I’m going to throw up.”

“You are one sick bastard Charlie,” Dennis said.

“These aren’t mine!”

“They were in your room!”

“That doesn’t mean anything!” Charlie shrieked, “I am freaking out!”

“What is all this commotion?” Hermann asked as he tried to walk into the room.

“NO!” Charlie screamed, “NO! NO! AUGGHHH! GET OUT!” Charlie waved his arms at Hermann and tried to shoo him out.

“Mr. Kelly!” Hermann shouted, “I will not tolerate this kind of behavior! Please refrain from acting like an insolent child and tell me what is the matter!”

“He’s embarrassed,” Dennis spoke up, hands on his hips, “Because he found these,” And he kicked the box at his feet, and Hermann gazed down and once he realized what he was looking at, flushed a deep red.

“Out,” Hermann barked, “Both of you out.”

“Are you seri-“ Dennis laughed, and Hermann glared at him, and banged his cane on the floor for emphasis, “Have you forgotten the last time you crossed me, Mr. Reynolds,” Hermann said, “Out.”

Dennis and Dee left the room, snickering, while Charlie became fascinated with his own feet, and refused to look Hermann in the eye.

Hermann moved past him, pulled out a handkerchief that he kept in his pocket, and begrudgingly began picking up the toys off the floor and into the box. Charlie moved to sit on the bed with his hands in his lap and his head faced down. Once Hermann was finished, he stood up and slid the box under the bed with his feet.

“Would you like to talk about them?” Hermann asked, and Charlie looked up, and Hermann saw that he had tears in his eyes. 

“I don’t like-“ Charlie began, and then he snapped his mouth shut. He shook his head and turned even redder than he already was.

“Are you embarrassed that your friends saw them, or that I saw them?” Hermann asked. Charlie nodded, hands shaking, “And-“ Charlie stuttered, “I’m scared. Did….did I use them?”

He was asking Hermann, which was probably even more embarrassing for him. Hermann hadn’t said anything about their relationship sexually, but now he had to set things straight, as it were.

“I don’t know,” Hermann told them, “I’ve never seen them, and you’ve never spoken about them. It’s quite likely that you simply collected them for novelty purposes.”

“Was I that way?” Charlie asked, nervous, “I’m not like, gay bashing or anything, but I don’t understand anything about sex. I’ve had it a couple of times, and it wasn’t really enjoyable you know? Was I different? Was I normal about it once?”

“Charlie-“ Hermann started, ready to tell him that he had never been normal, but stopped himself and decided to come clean about it, “From what you’ve told me, and what I’ve come to know about you, is that you were very sexually positive, and you had it on a regular basis, and we,” Hermann pauses, and then continues, “We were together sexually too.”

“Oh,” Charlie said, “Oh, I think I kind of knew that. I mean, when you kissed me and all, I assumed that we were banging. And when I said that it was gross, I didn’t mean you were gross. I like gross stuff, and dead things, and trash, but sex is gross. I just don’t get it. So if I hurt your feelings, I didn’t mean it like that.”

There was a silence that stretched throughout the room, and Hermann simply nodded, and said, “We don’t have to talk about this anymore if you don’t want to.”

“Thanks dude!” Charlie instantly brightened up and smiled, “Can we go get some food? I am starrrving! Can we swing by Mac’s room and ask him if he wants to come with? I don’t want to look at Dennis and Dee for a while.”

Hermann nodded, “Yes, of course,” and they made their way to the mess hall, box forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty set in my canon that Charlie, while heterosexual, is also asexual. Newt is often hypersexualized in fanon so I thought about how Charlie would feel learning that he's been slamming ass all over the place.


	21. The Nightman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Certain things come into light

Charlie was nervous about entering the room before him. Hermann was at his side, but he couldn't help but feel helpless about the situation. This was a place of heroes, of men and women who fought every day. He didn't belong here, he didn't belong in this hall, in this building, with these brave people. Charlie was hardly ever brave, and these bouts of heroic feelings only ever came to him in short periods of time, and his bravery was often spastic and uncontrollable. He felt brave when he wrote that play for the Waitress, he felt brave singing in that group of people, hoping beyond hope that she wouldn't reject him this time, that maybe she would see past what everyone else always saw and finally say yes. But he knew she wouldn't, but he did it anyway. Now he could feel acid rolling in the base of his stomach and he didn't know how to proceed. He didn't know how to walk up to that door and knock, didn't know how he could be here, be standing here, not knowing what awaited him. He probably wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Hermann. Hermann was by his side, silent, unimposing, but strong. Charlie had never met a man like Hermann before in his life. He sort of reminded him of Mac, but Mac was a showmanship of bravery, and he often chickened out at the last minute when his courage demanded to be brought forth. Somehow, Charlie knew that even though Hermann was small, thin, and frail, Hermann was the stronger than even Mac, and definitely stronger than him. 

So Charlie was met with a new feeling that he had never experienced before, but somehow, he didn't want to disappoint Hermann. He didn't want Hermann to think he was weak or stupid. And somehow, Charlie felt that Hermann didn't think of him like that at all. Charlie, once again, was faced with the knowledge of who his past self must have been like. They told him he was gone for ten years. The other man had been using his body, and even though he was him, he wasn't him, but he was a good man, and he was a lot of help. Charlie liked that. He liked being useful. He liked that the other man was a good man. Maybe he was the sort of man that the Waitress could be with. He wondered if the other man would want to be with her. Maybe he could be with Hermann and her both, together. Like best friends. Maybe he could have what Dennis and Mac have. To be someone's best friend like that. He wanted to have movie nights, and to have someone that was concerned about him, and wanted to feel safe around them. Frank was like that with him, but Frank was a fickle man, who often didn't care for Charlie unless Charlie was gone, or he stand to lose something because of Charlie. The Gang was reliable, in their unreliableness. He knew what they were capable of, and they knew what he was capable of.

He wanted to be more, now that he knew that he could be.

\---

“Alright brother, this isn’t going to hurt one bit,” Tendo reassured Charlie, while they were hooking him up to a machine. They put a helmet on his head and strapped his arms and legs down. They were doing the same to Hermann opposite to him, and off to the side, they were hooking wires to a gross tube that had some sort of lump inside. Tendo was behind a computer, typing instructions and looking past the holographic screen at Charlie, and he smiled, probably an effort to comfort him. Charlie was a little scared. He didn’t really like being confined, but he was going to save the world this way. They told him so. And Hermann was doing it to, so it couldn’t be that bad.

The girl with the pink hair was there, she said her name was Adrian, and she patted Hermann’s hand while she strapped him in. He felt a spike a heat flare up in his chest when she did that. He couldn’t understand why. And then they were counting backwards, and then, a flurry of everything all at once.

\---

He could feel everything blending together in a cascade of light and emotions. He felt fire and ice pierce his body and a flurry of emotions twisted him upwards and downwards. He could feel every ecstatic moment and overwhelming feelings of sadness. He couldn’t pinpoint moments or emotions. He couldn’t tell who he was. And then, so many things hit him in full force. A young boy sitting in his room, with model planes hanging from the ceiling. Performing before a group of people. And then

A man hunched over his work, and he could feel alarmingly flustered and warm. And then he realized. He was looking at himself. Himself from before. It was odd, he felt like he was finally meeting the man everyone was telling him about. He smiled wide, his eyes crinkled around the edges. His hair done up all fancy, his eyes kind behind a frame of too large glasses. Hands elbow deep in a lump of disgusting organs, smeared blue, laughing, dancing. He fell in love with this man in front of him. And then there were moments were he leaned in close for a kiss.

But then other memories started to blend together, things he’d rather not think about. Things he had kept inside, pretended that they didn’t happen.

And after that, the breach.

\---

When they disconnected him from the drift, Charlie immediately doubled over and vomited into his own lap. He coughed and spat up, while the techs rushed over to unstrap him from the machine. He fell over, falling on his hands, and Hermann in turn was unstrapped, and he ran over to him.

“Charlie-“ Hermann cooed, good naturedly, “Charlie, are you alright?”

Charlie looked up into Hermann’s eyes, and he knew that Hermann knew. He knew that Hermann saw.

“No,” Charlie shook his head, “No, no no no, it’s not what you think-“

“Shhhhh,” Hermann told him, “You don’t have to….not right here.”

“Is he alright?” Adrian came over and asked, hand on Charlie’s shoulder from where he knelt down.

“He needs a moment,” Hermann said, “I’m sure some space would be appreciated.”

“Sure,” She nodded, than turned around, “You heard him guys, give em some space.”

“Yes Ma’am,” Tendo smirked and chuckled, possibly amused at her commanding tone.

Hermann hoists Charlie to his feet and walks him out of the lab, and Charlie lets himself be led to an unfamiliar room. Except it is familiar. He’s seen it before, it Hermann’s head. It’s Hermann’s room. There’s a tidy bed, a book shelf neatly organized with folders, all color coded, and a chalk board on the wall, along with some papers on a desk, a laptop, and some open envelopes.

Charlie immediately knows where those envelopes are from. He’s seen them all before as well. Except those memories are muddled and unclear, like opening your eyes underwater.

“I’m not going to pretend that I didn’t see what I did,” Hermann said, “And, I’m saying this as a friend, but perhaps it would be best if you went to see someone to talk about it.”

“Like a shrink?” Charlie said, “No man, nuh uh, the last time I went to see a shrink ended badly. She told me that I needed, like, more skin, and she made no sense. It was confusing. I don’t want to talk to people that make me feel bad about, about what I’m about. I’m Charlie, and that’s what I am. I know I’m weird, and you probably saw some of the weird stuff I’ve done.”

“It’s not about what you’ve done,” Hermann grunted, “It’s what I’ve seen being done to you.”

Charlie feels his heart plummet into his stomach. He wants to curl up into a ball and go to sleep, because thinking about it hurts. He doesn’t like to think about what happened. 

There is a flash in his mind, of being small, and alone, of his dark room. It was scary but his mom didn’t want to get him a night light. And she was out, working late, and his uncle was staying over, watching him.

He is small and helpless, and Uncle Jack is coming up to him, holding him down, wedging a leg in between his thighs…..

“No no no no,” Charlie mutters, “No, I don’t, I don’t want to talk about that.”

But Hermann is looking at him and Hermann knows. Hermann knows what was in his head. He knows that it wasn’t a stranger, wasn’t a monster, wasn’t the night man, like he told his mom. He had closed his eyes then, when it hurt, cause then he could pretend it was somebody he didn’t know. Someone who came in through his window, and hurt him. 

“I’ve had, suspicions, before, before the drift Charlie, and I know you know what I saw, but it changes nothing-“

“Don’t lie,” Charlie muttered miserably, “Cause now you know. You know I’m just…..I’m dirty. He told me that if I said anything, that they would know I was dirty, and then no one would like me. And now you know. I’m dirty. I’m just a dirt grub. Just-“

Hermann crossed over, and held him tight, and Charlie fought against the hold, pushing his arms into Hermann’s chest and sobbing.

“You are not dirty,” Hermann snarled, “You are no less a man than you were ten minutes ago. What he did, did not dirty you, or taint you in any way. He’s the one that is filthy. What he did is what makes him garbage. Not you Charlie. Not you.”

Charlie nodded, distraught, and buried his face into Hermann’s shoulder, arms wracked with tremors.

“My mom didn’t believe me,” Charlie nearly shrieked, “She said I was just having nightmares. I told her it was a strange man, I couldn’t tell her it was him. I never e-ever…..”

“Shhhh,” Hermann soothed him, while Charlie wiped his running nose on Hermann’s sleeve, mucus clearly being smeared on the material, “S-sometimes I would see him, and he’d say that….that we could play the games we used to. He still watches me. I’ve never been in a room alone with him since I was 16. But he still….he still…..”

“I know,” Hermann held him, and it was true. Hermann now knew better than anyone now.

\---

“What’s going on?” Adrian asked Tendo at his station, she leaned against the console and took a sip from his coffee cup.

“That’s mine,” he frowned, “Get your own,” and she huffed.

“I haven’t slept a wink since I’ve been here. I drink whatever’s in arm’s reach,” she said. And he rolled his eyes.

“Alright,” he said, “But Gottlieb took Geiszler to his room. I think the drift hit him hard.”

“You know that’s not Geiszler anymore?” Adrian added, and Tendo gave her a hard look.

“I know that he isn’t Newt,” Tendo told her, “But I’ve been calling him by that name for ten years. Now it’s just a bad habit.”

“Yeah,” Adrian nodded, “I haven’t known the kid long. But they’re different. It’s like looking at a broken mirror.”

“I know what you mean,” Tendo agreed, “But the sooner we figure out what’s going on, the sooner we can move forward. Maybe when this is all over, we can get him back.”

Adrian sat up, “Well, do you think it’s right? What about this kid? What about Charlie?”

“I don’t know Charlie, he seems like a nice guy. But……Newt’s gone. It’s like he’s dead but his body is walking around. And I feel even worse for Hermann. I don’t know what was going on with them but I’m pretty sure I speak for everyone when I say Gottlieb was crushing. Hard.”

“I understand,” Adrian said, “But still, this is a guy’s life. He’s basically here as a courtesy. He has a life, a family. I watched tapes, read files. The guy had it rough. He lost his life.”

“And I lost a friend.”

\---

When Hermann and Charles went back into the room, they had shocking news for everyone.

“I’m afraid we couldn’t connect with hivemind,” Hermann announced, “It was a shoddy shot, I’ll admit, but it’s simply been too long.”

“Great,” Tendo said, “So the only way to connect to the hivemind is to get another Kaiju brain. Where are we going to find another one? Without any Jaegers?”

Adrian, who was leaning against her chair, sat up and bit her lip, “Well I mean,” she began, “Didn’t Dr. Gottlieb clarify that there are human Kaiju clones running around? Can’t we just find one and drift with them?”

“Oh,” Tendo said, “Oh, now I know why we’re keeping you around.”

“Alright, let’s not waste any more time,” Marshall Hansen announced, “We’re going to go out, send out search teams for one of those blue eyed bastards, and bring them here. I don’t care what it takes.”


End file.
